ladybug1984 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Are multiple separations and reconnects common in both abusive AND non-abusive relationships? Example: the couple has been married 25 years (or maybe a few more). The kids have been grown for a while now, but even five years ago this guy separated from his wife but got back together for the sake of the grown kids.......... they have been separated at least six times in 25 years, ranging from 2 weeks to 6 months. I have good reason to believe there is an abusive situation. Just wondering WHY SO MANY separations and if this is 'normal' for both abusive AND non-abusive relationships???? I have friends who have been married many years and while they may have times when they have had big fights or major disagreements, MAYBE one of them left for a night or maybe even a few days, but these repeated separations ranging from 2 weeks - 6 months just don't seem NORMAL to me. Am I wrong??
Candy_Pants Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 For abusive relationships it's very normal. On average it takes the abuse victim 7 times to leave the abuser for good. The dynamic created by abuse is like Stockholm Syndrome. The abused and abuser bond over the trauma of the abuse and the emotional highs of getting back together. If you are concerned and want to help the abused friend you can, but only by listening and not trying to force them into action. That is the opposite of the treatment the abused person usually receives and it helps so so much. 1
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