mr. confused Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 I've never been this confused in my entire life.... i met this girl in a chatroom and she's nice to talk to when suddenly she was disconnected and never came back. Luckily, I did a "whois" prior to chatting with her and she put what look like her real name. i did a search on friendster and after reading her profile I was convinced that it was her. i sent her a message to confirm if it was her and also asking if we could be friends. she replied and gave me her cellphone number. We started communicating thru text messages on our cellphone(texting is very popular here in our country). After less than a week of texting, I told her that I went to a local car club EB and I was surprised that she made me promise to take her with me next time even when she's still seeing her boyfriend. Of course, I obliged. After a few days more, she invited me to watch a movie coz her boyfriend doesn't have time for him. the next day, she told me she was with her BF so i thought the date would be postponed but a day before our scheduled date she told me she broke up with her BF already. the first date went smoothly. we watch movie and talk. after the date, i dropped her off and she just gave me a kiss on the cheek. after the date, she asked me how i find her. i told her that i find her cute and nice then she told me she feel the same thing too. the next two weeks we only communicated thru text message as i was very busy with work. during the two weeks i would send her sweet nothings thru text messaging. i also told her that i like her but she only replied "that's good to know". i also sent her a dozen long stem roses on valentines which she liked so much. during our texting i learned alot from her. she like guys as friends. she have lots of guy friends. she likes to chat before and meet with guys and gals...usually alone. i also learned that she has a "best friend" whom she met in chat and one time she sleep over alone in his house. in other country, a girl sleeping over a guy's place alone may be OK but not in my country. i'm not saying that there's nothing of that sort happening here, in fact there are, but people will have doubt on the girl and will think that she's indecent. i admit that gave me a second thought about her and my feelings for her. one day, before our 2nd date she told me a shocking news that she already have a 4 year old son. she's not married but just got pregnant when she was 19...she's 23 now. it's been two years already since she broke up with the father of the child. the child is staying with the father. eventhough i have second thoughts about her behaviour and now the shocking news that she has a son already, i still went through the second date...coz i really liked her. on our second date, we get to talk more about her life. she would reveal to me that she and her guy friends would hug and kiss(cheek) each other sometimes which i've no problem with since those were her neighbor and childhood friends. she even told me that the GFs of her guy friends would often get jealous. what bothers me is her supposed "bestfriend" the one she slept over with. you see, while we were talking, 2 guys called her up, the bestfriend and the childhood friend. while talking with the bestfriend, i would constantly hear "i love you" and "i love you too" which for me is not right nor normal already but when she talked with her childhood friend there were no "i love you". i would understand friendly kiss and hug but saying "i love you" is totally out of this world already and i never heard a guy & girl bestfriend say "i love you" to each other before, much more say it several times during a phone call like lovers. i'm sorry but i just couldn't take it. anyway, i didn't let her see my dismay. the second date was more memorable not because of the stupid "i love you" but because we hold hands, hug each other and i get to touch her leg & thigh. i got naughty and started running my hands down her thigh but she stopped me from holding her private part. in short, we were kinda like lovers on a second date but unfortunately, she wouldn't allow me to kiss her on the lips. in fact, she reluctantly allowed me to kiss her cheek. you guys may think i'm lame for being happy about it but in my country that's very unusual for a second date except if dating an indecent girl, a slut, hooker and etc.. in fairness, she look decent. i don't know if she's really decent or she's just good in pretending. after the date, i drove her home. before she went out of the car, she hugs me tight and kiss me on the lips...sort of a smack. after the smack, i did a dumb thing by telling her that i love her coz she sort of laugh at it. honestly, i don't know what else to think. everytime she tells me she'd be going over to her guy friend's house or to her bestfriend, dirty thoughts would greet my mind and i would be miserable throughout the day. if only it's easy to stop everything i would've have stop myself but i like her already. do you think she's a slut or a player playing mind games with me? why would she let it looked like we're lovers but refused to let me kiss her and kinda laugh at my "i love you" to her? if she think saying i love you is still early then i would think that her letting me hold and touch her is also eary then. i'm getting confused and i can't seem to sleep properly at night from thinking too much of the whole thing. can anybody define the meaning of a player? is she one? what do you think about the situation? is she fooling around with my feelings while shagging her friends or best friends? any opinion and advice will be appreciated.
kypepeo Posted February 22, 2005 Posted February 22, 2005 You and this girl view relationships very differently and you'll never be at ease going out with her so just forget it. You know that from all the doubts in your head. Leave her to her devices before she hurts you. The fact that she went out with you when she had a boyfriend and didn't sort you out when you sent her "sweet nothings" via text shows that she's not straight up.
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