maybenot Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 (edited) My ex -boyfriend and I split up 5 weeks ago, after I initiated a conversation about having children. He said he is not sure he will ever want them, and I am now in my mid 30s, so do not have much time to wait, and I am not sure that I could say that I didn't ever want them (although I do not have a huge maternal desire). He felt like best thing to do was to break up and we have not seen each other since. Subsequently, we have both been in a terrible places. He has actually had a break down, been signed off work and put on anti depressants and is in intensive therapy (although this is not soley down to us breaking up, but was triggered by it - he had other stuff in his past that he had not properly dealt with and a very stressful job). I am very upset and feel like we should be together. I feel like we would have found a way to make it work, but I feel like he thinks it is the right thing to do. Other than this, everything was pretty good with us, we were happy. He kept saying that he cannot be the person to stop me having kids, and it is only because he loves me so much. I think he is also terrified that I will grow resentful towards him, if I decided not to have children. Anyway - we have had bits of contact, but nothing has really changed. I feel like he has made his decision and he now has a whole load of other stuff going on that he needs to deal with and I probably do not come into the equation much. I do not think it would be right for us to be together right now, as I know he needs to get himself better. But i have this overriding hope that we will sort things out - although I think this is false hope. There is no anger or resentment, just real sadness and upset. Not sure how anyone can help - but should I just walk away? Edited July 15, 2014 by maybenot
d0nnivain Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 How much do you want children? what do you want more -- kids or him? If it's kids you have to let him go. You can't try to talk him into it.
scobro Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Kids are a huge commitment and if you don't want them its impossible to be with someone that does....
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