sugarlove Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Just wondering what age range do you folks prefer to date? I've always been dating guys younger than me from 2-7 years younger.. and I think that's the main issue with their flakiness. However guys much older than me tend to be very fixed in their ways and often prefer to stay home. And they seem to want to get serious pretty quickly as well which put the pressure on the relationship, just not allowing it to develop naturally that's all. Will love to hear from both sides! I'm 35 btw.
Noproblem Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Everything matters if you let it matters. What really works in the end is how much you two are compatible to each other, and how much you love and tolerate each other ... 3
Author sugarlove Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 That's what I thought initially. I get along with younger guys really well and not so much the older ones. However, my family and friends are saying that's the reason why my heart's been broken every single time. Now I'm trying to force myself to date older men... thinking that perhaps they were right. But I can't understand them. I'm usually quite shy.. and these older guys intimidate me. 1
gaius Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Forcing yourself into dating an older guy you're not into probably won't help. I usually end up into women who are older but it's always a certain type. There are plenty I can't get away from fast enough. You'll probably end up with a guy who's exactly like the younger you date except in an older shell. Just keep dating who your body tells you to date. Eventually it will adjust itself naturally if that's what you really want. 1
still_an_Angel Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Probably not so much as the guy's age but how well his personality, maturity, etc works with yours. I have done the cougar bit (married to a guy 11 years my junior) and now seeing a guy 11 years my senior. I find the older guy more patient with me and really tries his best to meet my needs. He can offer more life experiences and gives me wider perspective on a whole range of issues. With my stbxH, arguments are more intense, our maturity levels were not on the same page and although I really tried to make it work (longer, I should say) well, at the end of the day, we just couldn't be together anymore. We were causing each other too much stress. On this note, I did date a guy 15 years my junior who turned out more mature than the hubby! Go figure! 2
d0nnivain Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Age doesn't matter but lifestage does. Men 7 years older than you are most likely settled & don't want too much craziness. Men 7 years younger are on the tail end of their 20s possibly still partying & only now beginning to thing about marriage & family. The older you get the less it matters. If you were 25, a man 7 years younger would possibly still be in high school & that would definitely not work. pay attention to the person. Not his D.O.B. 1
soccerrprp Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Age DOES matter to many, if not most, people in my opinion and should not be dismissed. On dating sites, most people have an age range b/c it matters a lot. Generational differences, sexual/physical compatibility considerations, health, cultural differences, children considerations, career, maturity, longevity, etc. All about age and very important to most people. I don't (didn't) date more than 5 years and less than 7-8 my age. I wanted to be with someone who was closer to my age. Similar values, musical taste, memories, experiences and, of course, still very sexually active/physical. I found her (hubba hubba)! 2
me85 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I was just thinking about this topic last night! I've dated 9-10 years older, same age, younger by not so much and (very recently) by far the youngest (6 years younger.) I don't discriminate but I have come to the conclusion that I prefer to be seriously involved with someone my own age. 1
carhill Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I think age matters relevant to one's path in life and compatibility for a healthy relationship. During my years of looking for a wife and mother to my children, I tended to date near my own age at that time but did date as much as ten years younger and nine years older. The woman I married was two months older. Speaking of 35, I've come to know a nice young lady that age whom was married when I met her a number of years ago but is now divorced. We get on well but, while I might find her attractive, I understand completely that we're at different life stages, with her navigating the challenges of parenting three young children and growing her professional career and myself squarely focused on retirement strategies and wandering the planet. TBH, I'd probably be better matched with a widow in her sixties, no matter how nubile and otherwise energetic a young lady might be. Many men my age would trip over themselves to date a 35 year old, which underscores how we're each different. I think an older lady I dated many years ago, who was a grandmother at the time, said it best: "My time for children and similar pursuits is past". To a large degree, that perspective is why I chose my exW over that lady, even though I otherwise loved her. We were at different places in life. Even though I'm not currently dating, I have perused the demographic where I'm moving to and, when selecting an age range, I've been putting in 50-60. 1
Author sugarlove Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 Thanks everyone! I guess the general consensus is that age does matter as it correlates with life stages. I've 3 young kids and looking back, I do agree that the guys I've dated, especially the most recent ex, although mature for their ages, they are still unsure of what they want in their lives. I also know that even though I told my recent ex (28) that I don't mind having more kids with him, I still felt quite unsure about having babies when all my little ones are in school now. That's always been at the back of my mind as time pass by if I'm ready to go back to nappies and bottles and midnight feeds. I do find that guys older than me at my age are probably in the same stage as me.. With regards to divorce or kids ages or simply lifestyle choices. I probably just need to look in that pile if I do want happily ever after.. since the other pile weren't working for me. I guess.. I just need to not give up and see if someone fits me. Thanks everyone!! Your advice is valuable to me!!
truth_seeker Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I'm in my 30's, and because I would like to have kids someday, I would prefer a younger woman. I think 10 year gap is fine. Example: 35-25
Elle1975 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Now I'm trying to force myself to date older men. Why not date men your own age.
isisisweeping Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I've dated from one year younger to 16 years older.
Thegreatestthing Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I'm exactly the same way and I only date guys much younger than me i look young so it looks fine but I do worry about when I'm significantly older. I feel weird with men my age ,they seem so much older than me even though were the same age,it must be my maturity level,but maybe Everyone grows at different degrees. If your happy it's fine ,but I do think it's a worry when you get older and can't maintain your looks as easily. That's what I thought initially. I get along with younger guys really well and not so much the older ones. However, my family and friends are saying that's the reason why my heart's been broken every single time. Now I'm trying to force myself to date older men... thinking that perhaps they were right. But I can't understand them. I'm usually quite shy.. and these older guys intimidate me.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Everything matters if you let it matters. What really works in the end is how much you two are compatible to each other, and how much you love and tolerate each other ... Agreed. I've dated men of ALL ages; from early twenties to early fifties and everything in between and all I have to say is that age (for the most part) had very little to do with anything. I've spoken about this many times on here already. I've met men older than me that acted more like spoiled children while men half my age had their sh*t together. There is no rhyme or reason to any of it more often than not. I think the only reasons why age might play a serious role is if starting a family is top of mind otherwise who the hell cares? I mean, if you are compatible on more than one level why would anyone give up on possibly a great thing just because of age? Not me
jen_r Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I'm 29 (female) and dating someone who is 23 (male). I never even think about age. Well NOW I don't. At first I was like "ughh why are you so young." But we've been dating for almost a year and It's been okay. Other than the fact that I think I want kids soon and he doesnt lol....so who knows where we'll end up. But no, age honestly doesn't matter if you're both similar people.
Elle1975 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 My friend is 55, her husband is 40. At the time age wasn't such a big deal. It's starting to show now. I wouldn't do it, but that doesn't mean that somebody else shouldn't.
Author sugarlove Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 Why not date men your own age. Guys my age? I'll put them into the older pile. I've kids.. I think that is also a considering factor... my ex 28 was really great with my children, but he doesn't seem to place value in certain things such as education but I can see as he matures into his mid 30 he might. Another issue I have is he ran away.. and cheated on me so I see that as something younger guys will often be tempted to do. Not sure.. but it's a reasonable fear? I don't like older guys.. mainly because I felt they tend to want to control the relationship.. After leaving an abusive marriage with a man 8 years my senior, I just stop dating older guys as they intimidate me. I always beleive in romance and love and all that stuff.. perhaps if I wait for the younger boys to grow into real men.. I won't be as confused at this stage.
soccerrprp Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I always beleive in romance and love and all that stuff.. perhaps if I wait for the younger boys to grow into real men.. I won't be as confused at this stage. I'm not absolutely certain what you mean by this, but younger, less mature men introduce a WHOLE different level of complication. Older men, in your experience may seem more controlling, but that's b/c they are more aware of what they want. Nah. That's not true. You just happened to get stuck with an older guy who jacked with you.
Author sugarlove Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 I'm not absolutely certain what you mean by this, but younger, less mature men introduce a WHOLE different level of complication. Older men, in your experience may seem more controlling, but that's b/c they are more aware of what they want. Nah. That's not true. You just happened to get stuck with an older guy who jacked with you. (^-^) I've deactivated my online dating subscription. Perhaps I need to know what I want, what I can settle and what I can't before I dive back into dating. That way regardless of age, I won't risk getting myself hurt and insecure. I'll just enjoy my company for now. Dating will need to wait. But I do still think an older mature guy might be what I need.. thanks again for everyone's advice!! 1
Noproblem Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 That's what I thought initially. I get along with younger guys really well and not so much the older ones. However, my family and friends are saying that's the reason why my heart's been broken every single time. Now I'm trying to force myself to date older men... thinking that perhaps they were right. But I can't understand them. I'm usually quite shy.. and these older guys intimidate me. Girls have married older guys for the last thousand years, that didn't protect them from getting their heart broken and gotten cheated on. Age is not particularly the issue, the issue is how you deal with these guys, sometimes being over nice will get your heart broken, or sometimes being so possessive will get the relationship to end quickly, or different views on political or religious matter can break up a relationship .. I understand you, I always preferred people who are younger than me..
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