Letting Go Really Works

[JackieOver]

My ex broke up with me just a bit over a month ago. We were together for 9 years and had a pretty good RS going.

 

After she 'dumped' me, we shared a few emails, had a couple of phone conversations, sent a few text messages back and forth and met up once. Still, she made no effort to wanting to come back despite telling me "9 years is a long time. I can't just let go like that!".

 

Three weeks of this emotional role-coaster, I decided to go NC. She text me a few times, I didn't respond. She called a few times, I didn't call back. It was very tough especially since I truly loved that women and she really blind sided me when she told me 'it's over'.

 

Last Saturday I decided it was time I let her go, completely ... out of my heart and out of my mind. I began calling old friends I hadn't seen for nearly a decade and had a great time chatting with them.

 

On Sunday I attended an afternoon backyard party. I was having a blast and feeling happy. There were lots of women at the party. I spoke to several but didn't make an effort to 'get to know one'. Still, my ex was nowhere on my mind.

 

Then my phone rings; an unknown number. It's my ex. She wants to talk. I wanted to tell her "I am at a party, I call you later." but I didn't want to be rude.

 

She asked me where I was. I told her at a party. "I can hear women laugh," she said. 'Yes," I answered. "Lot's of women, some very pretty!".

 

She couldn't get off the phone. We talked for an hour. In the end she wanted to meet with me and see if we could work things out. I told her "I need more time! I'll let you know." (the same thing she told me when she broke up with me).

 

She said "OK! I'll wait for your call!".

 

Haven't called her yet and probably won't; at least not for a while.

 

Letting her go is definitely working because it clears your mind and empties out your sad emotions, allowing new good feelings and new people to enter your life.

 

So .... your ex dumped you? Let her/him go completely! It certainly put me in the power position now, even though I was the dumpee.

[David87]

You acted like a pro, good job dude

[Brokenguy22]

I need to do what you did.. been almost 10 months still can't let go. We talked earlier and just ended up arguing again.. sigh ended with me saying we wont ever talk again unless you want to reconcile then contact me if not then don't. Wished her well and thanks for all the lessons to grow stronger and told her it was good knowing the old her since the new her is just terrible and vicious ad then goodbye. I panicked so hard after that but I just need to get on with my life. l:( God it hurts wish I could be in your position man.. Good job!

[David87]

I need to do what you did.. been almost 10 months still can't let go. We talked earlier and just ended up arguing again.. sigh ended with me saying we wont ever talk again unless you want to reconcile then contact me if not then don't. Wished her well and thanks for all the lessons to grow stronger and told her it was good knowing the old her since the new her is just terrible and vicious ad then goodbye. I panicked so hard after that but I just need to get on with my life. l:( God it hurts wish I could be in your position man.. Good job!

 

After 10 months you should do way better than the OP, but thats what happens if you don't initiate NC.

[JackieOver]

BrokenGuy22, I know it's hard. I am not ashamed to tell you that I cried several days like a baby during the NC period but I knew in my heart I just had to do that if I wanted to get on with my own life.

 

Believe me, I felt like the lowest of the lowest of the lowest when my ex told me it's over and she's seeing someone else. My ego was crushed to bits and my heart crumbled into a million pieces, particularly since she blamed me for everything that had gone wrong during our 9 years together and "I basically forced her into the arms of another man".

 

The fact that she already had been cheating on me with this guy for a good 3 months (if not more) before she dumped me was also my fault according to her.

 

It hurt me deeply that the woman I once loved so deeply could just turn on me on a dime just like that. It still hurts today.

 

Only today, 40 days after she ended it, I reason with my mind and not my heart. I have to (and so do you) if I want to move on feeling good about myself again.

 

Be strong, cry, scream, yell at the top of your lungs, but let her go ... completely. Don't spend another minute focusing on her. I still think about my ex (I am not super human) but I don't dwell on her anymore and that makes all the difference.

 

You must do the same and I know you can. Just try it and you'll see.

 

Good luck.

[music_and_poetry]

Congrats! Bet you're doing a little dance @JackieOver! That's awesome, make her sweat I hope to be in this position down the line! Best of luck with whatever you decide!

[scobro]

BrokenGuy22, I know it's hard. I am not ashamed to tell you that I cried several days like a baby during the NC period but I knew in my heart I just had to do that if I wanted to get on with my own life.

 

Believe me, I felt like the lowest of the lowest of the lowest when my ex told me it's over and she's seeing someone else. My ego was crushed to bits and my heart crumbled into a million pieces, particularly since she blamed me for everything that had gone wrong during our 9 years together and "I basically forced her into the arms of another man".

 

The fact that she already had been cheating on me with this guy for a good 3 months (if not more) before she dumped me was also my fault according to her.

 

It hurt me deeply that the woman I once loved so deeply could just turn on me on a dime just like that. It still hurts today.

 

Only today, 40 days after she ended it, I reason with my mind and not my heart. I have to (and so do you) if I want to move on feeling good about myself again.

 

Be strong, cry, scream, yell at the top of your lungs, but let her go ... completely. Don't spend another minute focusing on her. I still think about my ex (I am not super human) but I don't dwell on her anymore and that makes all the difference.

 

You must do the same and I know you can. Just try it and you'll see.

 

Good luck.

 

My ex did the same before and I took her back.Then years later caught her on POF twice and other infidelity situations.People's core values and traits don't change.If it happened once it will most likely happen again.Good job on your part.My problem is low self esteem so I just took the abuse but I had enough and ended things and am trying to let her ago.We had 5 years so the attachment addiction is still painful for me.

[Chi townD]

Lucaslode's Ex said the exact same thing to him, literally word for word....

 

 

 

 

Starting to wonder if there's bunnies hopping around here.....Hmmmm....