Author Medium.Lumo Posted July 16, 2014 Author Posted July 16, 2014 Maybe she thinks you're a player for sleeping with her on the first date. Stop assuming the worse when you barely know each other. True... she could assume that... but it's all about likelihoods. What is the likelihood that I'm a player? What is the likelihood that she's slept with a lot of guys? Anyway I need to message her today. I have my birthday weekend coming up and I want to see her before that. It would probably be a bad idea to introduce her to my friends so soon. She might feel awkward because it's my birthday. But I'm so nervous she's going to reject me I sent her a message the next day saying how great she was but it was an understatement. I didn't want to scare her off but the reality is she is 10 better than my ex sexually.
PogoStick Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 Out of a random sample of a hundred guys and another random sample of a hundred girls, where will we find the mass of the distribution? A girl who has bedded 10, 25, 50 75 and 100 guys A guy who has bedded 10, 25, 50 75 and 100 guys From what personal experience, from what I hear from my friends and from what I read on LS I think I have a pretty good understanding of the distribution for guys: 10 ****** 25 *** 50 * 75 For girls, again based on personal experience, I'd say the distribution looks like this, with the center of mass upwards on the notch on the bedpost scale: 10 ** 25 **** 50 *** 75 * Does anyone disagree with this? Do you think the center of mass lie in the same area for both gender? What makes you think so? Does anyone disagree, that at least from posts on LS the center of mass is higher up the scale for girls than for guys? I disagree because the math doesn't add up. If a girl and a guy both sleep with each other then they each get 1 point. Your men had sex with 185 women. Your women had sex with 345 men. Explain how that works. Thus you must be claiming there are 2x as many living men, which we know isn't true.
umirano Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 I repeat, what are you talking about?I mixed up two threads. I thought your post was in this thread (which is about a somewhat similar topic) http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/485536-best-thing-girl-said-me-about-having-higher-number-than-me I'm sorry about that.
umirano Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 (edited) I disagree because the math doesn't add up. Thank you for your response. Let's see: If a girl and a guy both sleep with each other then they each get 1 point. Your men had sex with 185 women. Your women had sex with 345 men. Your interpretation assumes the chart is talking about one time encounters. I'm really talking about a count of individuals below and max equal to the respective number. I am not looking at how many single encounters are taking place. It could be a ONS or FWB or steady exclusive RS. But I'm not sure my charts really represent what I'm trying to say, I have to look at it again. Edited July 16, 2014 by umirano
kaylan Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 My take from Tinder: Men: players (just want easy sex, no strings, tag as many girls they can) Women: damaged (divorced, kids, habitual liars) Incorrect in my experience. I used tinder earlier this year. I will admit I had fast hookups with 2 women from the app. The first woman I just had little chemistry with so I called things off quickly. She didnt have kids, nor was she ever married, nor ever lied to me as far as I know. She was a chill gal, I just wasnt that into it. The second girl I dated for a month. She was really sweet and down to earth. It didnt go anywhere though because we didnt seem to click on more than a physical or friendship level. There wasnt much there to cement a possible relationship connection. This girl also had no kids, never lied, and was never married. She worked hard and was a laid back person. Regarding myself...Im no player, though the first woman I mentioned did perceive me as such. You can look through my old threads on that situation. Anyways, Ive had sex with an average number of women, and I dont try to tag as many woman as I can. I usually go with the flow and try to be safe (which means I wont have sex with too many women, in order to protect my health). I actually became disillusioned with Tinder after my two hookups. Im not trying to lock into a relationship just yet...but fast hookups have become overrated and unexciting. I wanna have a real connection with someone. I havent had that in a while. When I start putting more effort back into dating, ill see what I find. I dont expect to find much on Tinder, but Ill use it along with online dating sites as a supplement to meeting women in the real world.
kaylan Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 (edited) I met and dated a guy from Tinder about a month ago. We had a very good and special chemistry. We had sex right on the first date and it was awesome. I liked him a lot. I think that he liked me a lot too. However, i sensed that he shared the same fear/concern as you that i had sex with him right on the first date, it means I must have been banging a lot of guys before him, which is true. But not with everyone i have that special connection and personality match like with him. He took his time for so long and finally admitted that he "thought of me very often and i'm always in his head" but then it was too late. I moved on already. So if you like her, then you like her. Grab the chance to get to know her. Who cares if she has slept with many guys before you. As long as she doesn't have a slutty attitude, she is good ;-) And this is prolly why I wont try anything serious with someone I meet on Tinder. Ive had my fun too in the past...but it seems people on the Tinder or online dating sites, seem to get around a lot more than I did using those avenues. Also the thing about Tinder is it left me feel sketchy after my trysts...so I prolly wont use it much in the future. I dont wanna end up catching something...because who knows how much sleeping around a girl was doing before she met me. I can really only be sure of myself not doing that before meeting someone...no way for me to really know someone else isnt making it around town a lot. I personally dont expect women on Tinder to be wanting anything serious anyways. Based on all the stories I hear, seems women (just like the men) are trying to have sex with the hottest person they can get. While I do hear a few stories about people finding relationships with the app...its rare to hear. EDIT: About the "slutty attitude" part. Sleeping with a lot of guys right before and up until you meet someone you actually like, is a slutty attitude. Its not really past thing when its that current....so saying "who cares" doesnt apply in my opinion. Tbh I wouldnt expect a good woman to be jumping at the chance to lock my into a relationship if she knew I was sleeping with many women right before I decided to ask her out on Tinder. Edited July 16, 2014 by kaylan
ExpatInItaly Posted July 16, 2014 Posted July 16, 2014 True... she could assume that... but it's all about likelihoods. What is the likelihood that I'm a player? What is the likelihood that she's slept with a lot of guys? Anyway I need to message her today. I have my birthday weekend coming up and I want to see her before that. It would probably be a bad idea to introduce her to my friends so soon. She might feel awkward because it's my birthday. But I'm so nervous she's going to reject me I sent her a message the next day saying how great she was but it was an understatement. I didn't want to scare her off but the reality is she is 10 better than my ex sexually. I agree it's far too soon to introduce her to your friends. Wait and see if this develops into anything first. And I know you mean well, but definitely don't say anything about her being better than your ex. Being compared to an ex - even if it's in her favour - is quite off-putting. Telling her she's great is enough. And think of this way: even if she does reject you, the world isn't going to end. Sure it will hurt for a little bit, but you'll be just fine. Case in point would be last week (two weeks ago?) when you were head over heels for some girl in another country. Whatever happens, there are other fish in the sea, as you've discovered.
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