gambino Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Hi guys, I really need some help as I am really not sure what to do in this situation. Let me start by talking about PERSON1 - I met this person in high school and at first I hated them - I wanted to punch them every time I heard them speak. One day we talked in the hallway and then we realized we were on the same bus so we started talking more. Turned out we had a lot in common so we started becoming good friends. One day this person told me that they liked me however, I did not feel the same and told them that I was sorry but I did not like them back. We stayed friends and slowly I started to realize that maybe I did like this person so I thought I would ask them out - they rejected me only to have another person a couple days later. I always had a sour taste in my mouth due to this. We constantly went back and fourth in high school about how we can work on it - we would be happy one day then upset the next - in the end it never actually happened. Now for PERSON2 - I met this person after high school when I went off to university. When I went to university I was focused on having fun, sex and partying. No concerns whatsoever as my heart had been broken previously. I met this person and we started hanging out - I did not want a relationship and to be honest I just thought this person was cute. It got to a point where this person wanted to date because all of this person's friends started to ask what was going on. I did not want to date and I told this person that I never wanted to speak with them again or see them again and that I could care less (******* move - I know). However, when I said this to the person they responded by claiming I never gave them a fair chance and I had no idea what it could have been - this changed my mind and I decided to give it a shot so now me and this person were in a relationship (which I only thought would last 2 months at most) - fast forward we have been dating for almost 5 years now. Now that you have all the background information I will get to the point of where I need help. I have always loved PERSON1 and we are constantly talking and I know that they love me as well as they say it. Me and PERSON2 have been going through a difficult stage - I recently told them that there was certain things that needed to change if we were to move forward - affection was lacking and I felt I was always trying but they were not. PERSON1 has always been there for me but gives me bias information when I speak to them about my relationship as they want me to be with them. I want to be with PERSON1 however, I am afraid of letting go of PERSON2 - I know that this person has a great personality, loves me and will do anything for me - and they have already made the changes I have asked for but I am not feeling like I am fully into the relationship like they are as my mind is constantly on PERSON1. PERSON1 - claims to love me but is always telling me that they can't deal with the fact that I am in a relationship and that I tell them I want to be with them but never let go of PERSON2. PERSON2 - is trying extremely hard to keep me and recently they thought that I wanted to break up with them and I thought I did but I second guessed myself. I am really stuck as to what I should do. I almost feel like I met PERSON2 at the wrong time because I am still young and want to enjoy myself but do not feel I will ever find someone as amazing as them. However, my attraction to PERSON1 is crazy and I want to be with them also as they seem more adventurous and spontaneous. I feel I am losing my attraction to PERSON2 but I would feel horrible if I left them. I am not saying as soon as me and PERSON2 break up I am going to go and be with PERSON1 because that just won't happen right away and I do not want PERSON2 to feel as if I had someone lined up right away. I am very confused as to what I should do as I want both but obviously that is not possible. Sometimes I wish I could just be with PERSON1 and if that is not what I want I could go back to PERSON2 as they truly show me how much they love me. PERSON1 - is getting very sick and tired and I do not want to see them walk away from me but it is almost at that point as they feel no matter how hard they try to get me I will never let PERSON2 go. SORRY FOR A HUGE STORY but I REALLY NEED HELP! Thanks guys!
bluelady Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Please, please, for the sanity of P2 break up with them. Even if you find out that P1 is not what you want - do not go back to P2. The truth is, even though they love you a lot it seems you don't really want to be with them. Perhaps you'll feel differently later on, but it'll probably only be fleeting and you'll go back to feeling the same again. The truth is, you're just stringing P2 along because you're not sure if it'll work out with P1 or not. Also, if I were P2 I would see talking to P1, telling them you want to be with them etc, as cheating. You're just going to end up hurting P2 more in the end by staying with them. What you're doing right now is not okay. Holding someone onto someone as a back up or staying with them because you think they might be the right person in the future while you see other people now is cruel. Break up with them and leave them be. Even if they're upset now, they'll get over it eventually, and find someone who likes them equally. Eventually, you'll find someone too. Maybe it'll be P1, maybe not, but it is not P2 otherwise you wouldn't treat them in this way. It's quite obvious you're not ready for a commitment yet, and I think you'll find the right person then.
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