Rexxy Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Does texting during the dating phase play much of a role with attraction or interest? I'm intrigued because sometimes I freak out when a girl see's a message, doesn't respond but then replies with an open question hourssss later. Or even waiting for them to initiate a conversation. How important is texting during the week, and how often would you text? Any advice would be great.
GemmaUK Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 If it was up to me? Never..or barely ever! It drives me up the wall. But...the above is not a valid excuse these days. Everyone has to be 100% contactable at all times it appears...or that is what men in their forties think... 1
d0nnivain Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Depends on the person. texting annoys me so it would hinder not help me build a relationship.
SoonMyFriend Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 It's going to depend on the person. For me - I like texting, but not A LOT of textings. I like to hear from soneone at least once a day, or if I know they are busy working I am OK with a day's silence (after all sometimes I just don't have anything to say!!) But I like checking in to make plans, or just see how things are going. But I like to text... That being said if someone is sending me 100s of texts a day and expects me to be chained to my phone at all hours, that is going to drive me up the wall. I am talking I usually only send about 5 - 10 texts a day to someone I am dating, maybe more if we get into a good conversation.
ponchsox Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Not that important at all, I'm more of a talk live or face to face person. Texting does have it's place but carrying on a conversation all day isn't one of them.
mammasita Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I hate talking on the phone so I'm an avid texter. My BF and I text all throughout the day every day. Its been like that since before the day we met. Sure we have slower days when work is busy....but there isn't a day that goes by that we aren't in contact.
alexwood Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 i always text to much/...sucks but i dont know..i just do ugh
Priv Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I think it is great. In the early dating stages it is a nice little daily check in. Especially in the very early stages where for me phone calls seem kind of too much rapport and familiarity and pretty much a date in itself. But maybe that's just because I freaking hate phone calls. Also, and especially the loooooooooooooooong phone calls, at some point all I can think of is why don't we get together and have some real human interaction (read into that what you will ). Texts are the best invention ever. 'Hey, want to do something'', 'Sure', 'Pick you up at 8'. Bliss
Dallers Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 With Online Dating taking over and strength in numbers texting is a constant thing to reach a date in most occasions. I hate it. You can make a wrong move by text easier than you can in person because what you say is misinterpreted. For someone who loves banter and joking about I am always taken seriously and half the time it buggers the chance before it even gets going. I hate texting. But you cannot get away from it.
hasaquestion Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Being a good texter is definitely a plus if you're a Millenial. The thing with texting is there's two layers there when you send a message: 1. The explicit content of the text 2. The implicit context of receiving the text When you message a girl "hey" out of the blue, it doesn't really contain any explicit content. The implicit content is "I would really like to talk to you please". Bad texters are generally people who don't know how to handle communicating in that two-layered way. Conversely, you can turn texting into a strength if you pay attention to both. A.k.a. when you send text messages make them have some value to the other person and not just a plea for attention. 1
hasaquestion Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Being a good texter is definitely a plus if you're a Millenial. The thing with texting is there's two layers there when you send a message: 1. The explicit content of the text 2. The implicit context of receiving the text When you message a girl "hey" out of the blue, it doesn't really contain any explicit content. The implicit content is "I would really like to talk to you please". Bad texters are generally people who don't know how to handle communicating in that two-layered way. Conversely, you can turn texting into a strength if you pay attention to both. A.k.a. when you send text messages make them have some value to the other person and not just a plea for attention. Welp there's definitely an Anthony Weiner joke in here
fred123 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I think it is great. In the early dating stages it is a nice little daily check in. Especially in the very early stages where for me phone calls seem kind of too much rapport and familiarity and pretty much a date in itself. But maybe that's just because I freaking hate phone calls. Also, and especially the loooooooooooooooong phone calls, at some point all I can think of is why don't we get together and have some real human interaction (read into that what you will ). Texts are the best invention ever. 'Hey, want to do something'', 'Sure', 'Pick you up at 8'. Bliss what do you do if you cant meet face to face and want to get to know them? you speak on the fone or skype wouldnt you? as a girl what would you expect from a guy in that situation?
bene Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I like texting between dates as a nice reminder that the guy is thinking of me. It doesn't have to a lengthy discussion but just something cute or funny every one in a while. I like 'good morning' and 'good night' texts as well. Texting doesn't require an immediate reply like a phone call and you can text inbetween your daily activities. If the guy doesn't communicate between dates I would consider him not that interested and I'd conclude that I don't really cross his mind when we are not together. I have also found that I don't phone even my friends very often and if I do, it is something practical. Small talk, sharing jokes etc is more and more inclined to social networks and instant messaging. This of course does not replace meeting face to face.
aprilisi Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I don't do it anymore. Think its a horrible way to get to know someone. In my experience at least. One recent date asked me how would we get to know one another? I don't know...talking on the phone perhaps? Dating even? Texting is just so cold. Now, its good for people in set relationships I think as long as its not your only mode of communication.
Fondue Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I am not a big texter at all. Especially when it comes to people I am not interested in. I don't want to text them, or don't want them to text me. If it is a girl I am interested in, and it is the early stages of dating, I would text only if they are into that sort of thing and I keep to a very low frequency. Definitely can't text all day. And definitely don't do any good morning/night texts. I think those are the worst. With these women, I would text funny things. Usually long, drawn out, imaginative/creative, quirky thoughts. Just for laughs. Every woman whom I dated loved those kind of texts because they were very different from usual banter. I would usually send out a long funny text every few days. Or I would reply to texts sent to me later that evening. Basically, I keep it distant. If I am dating a girl full time (GF), we would text each other throughout the week when we're not together. Not all the time, not every day, but most days a few texts here and there. Nothing special. And definitely no good morning/night texts. That kind of thing always worked for me. No one ever complained about my frequency in texts. Although there were women whom texted me too much and I felt smothered, I never actually told them this. I just didn't respond as often as they would write. I also lost interest in them quicker when they texted all day. High frequency removes any mystery for me. It also makes me wonder if they do anything else in the day. I feel these people lack hobbies or have very lowkey lives.
the tank Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I am not a big texter either but I expect to have an answer in less than 12 hours especially if the girls have time for social media...
Alexandra Fox Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 My opinion on this subject is that it depends on the individual. Some have thier cell phones glued to thier palms and then some don't. I wouldn't take it personally if you text someone and it takes some time for them to respond.
kodakgirl Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I'm another not very avid texter. I'm 26, so squarely in the texting generation, and I worry about meeting a fellow who is really into it, who likes texting lots and dislikes slow responses. Luckily so far I seem to be good at picking guys who aren't avid texters either, haha. This week I exchanged a few messages online with this guy and then he gave me his number and suggested we text, and I was like, crap.... So I texted and just said I'm not a big texter, how about let's meet up, and he admitted he wasn't either and agreed. Neither of us rushes to respond-- often an hour or two, or overnight-- and it's taken two days to make concrete plans this way, and that suits me just fine! Once actually dating a guy Id probably expect and aim for a bit faster plan-making but in general I am glad knowing a guy isn't tied to his phone and doesn't feel he has to jump every time it buzzes, because I'm sure not like that. I like to connect in person, or to do my own stuff, not half and half.
Recommended Posts