iwannaknow Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Hi. I havent dated a whole lot, and i need to figure something out. With my ex, when we first met, everything clicked, it was easy to get to know each other and we just kinda connected. With a girl im currently dating, its harder.. It doesnt seem like we have a whole lot to talk about. The thing is.. I actually really like this girl.. But im kinda looking for the start to be like with my ex.. Where we just clicked. Am i a fool for thinking this way? Is it just a rare thing to click like that with someone? What are your experiences? Is it harder in the beginning, most of the time?
Zippy2000 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Sounds like your using your ex as a bench mark. I used to do this after I split up with my ex and compared every girl I met to her. The thing is some people take longer to get used to and some people instantly. You just have to find something in common to have something to kick start something off.
Diezel Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 She is not your ex. She is your ex for a reason. Maybe the fact that it is different this time is actually a GOOD thing. 2
Author iwannaknow Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 I'm over my ex.. Nothing in it. I'm just using the experience from how easily we connected as a reference point, and looking to know how you felt with your gf/bf, ex, before you got together. I have actually only dated this one girl so I wasnt sure if the "instant connection" is a "must" so to say. I see your point Diezel.. And the instant connection actually made me overlook something I couldn't live with. Thanks for your replies.
still_an_Angel Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 There are relationships that didn't have that instant connection when they met. Those ones developed over time, but I think, if there was no connection whatsoever, nothing would have developed in the first place. Not every potential relationship starts with a spark, but a strong connection would move things along faster.
d0nnivain Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Every start will be different because the people the place & the time are different. However, if the beginning is too difficult, maybe there's no reason to continue. Since you said you like this girl, I suspect the problem is more that you are unfairly comparing her to your EX. Every time you encounter something different you register that as bad, rather than merely different.
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