sugarlove Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 That's how I feel nowadays. Didn't want to fall asleep until 2-3am. Right now, I'm numb. DOn't miss him, don't love him, don't remember him, don't care. I look at our photos today. We are the cutest couple, his boyish Spanish charm and my bright, happy pink hair. Don't remember a thing. This couple looked so strange to me... who are they? A part of me feel sad to be losing all those memories we had but yet a part of me wonder if 10 months is enough to actually really love someone? Met a couple of guys who are similiar to him.. just felt rotten to my bone dating guys who are similiar to him, felt a tinge of shame. I stumbled on his friend's profile on a dating site. Panicked and deactivate my account immediately, losing all my chats. Still felt like I"m cheating on him even though we aren't together anymore.. ugh, not sure if this is normal. Just wish it goes away.
Mary Oak Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I can understand that feeling of disconnect. I was with my ex for over seven years, and I sometimes feel like it was a dream. I guess that happens when you start to forget things. And when you stop thinking about things all the time, you start to forget. I think back to my other exes who were also long term, and I can't remember much there either. It makes me very sad, that I still love someone that is now a stranger. It is an odd feeling, but I guess it is the way the body heals itself. Sheds a new skin. 1
Author sugarlove Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 THank you for that insight. I do hope I'm starting to forget... and not have them hit me later. I think NC from him was a blessing in disguise. If he had give me crumbs, it'll be much harder for me. So he's a good bloke, I thank him for that. Hope you are doing better now.
Justaguy30 Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 As to your feeling like you are cheating on him I totally understand. My ex and I have been apart for 5 months and she has seen a bunch of guys and has been dating a few. I just haven't gotten to the point where I can see someone else yet and always feel sort of guilty because I still love her so how could I possibly be with someone else. I too have been interested in women like her which in my case is nothing but a bad thing. They have all been BPD or kind of scandalous women. How do I just see a woman and know she is like that lol its beyond me but I am attracted too it. Best of luck in your healing and yes you can truly love someone withing weeks of knowing them its just not always a good idea to let yourself go that deeply that quickly. 1
learning_slowly Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 I think you need to look on it as a positive. If they didn't become a blur in your memory, how would you move on? I got rid of as many things as possible that reminded me of them to speed this process up. Has it worked? Maybe, maybe not, but the blurring of memories has occurred pretty fast and I see that as a good thing. If I kept remembering the good times, I would be wasting my life as that was in the past. We need to live in the present. You need to accept that he was not the one and somebody else out there could be. Grieving seems to be something we have to do, but aim to keep it as short as possible so you can live again. Good luck. 1
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