Pleasant Surprise Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Hi all, To keep the summary of the break up very brief, I was in contact with my girlfriend after we broke up and she ended up telling me she missed me (she dumped me) but didn't wanna get back together because she wasn't ready for a relationship. She initially dumped me because she lost interest. Silly little me got my hopes up and ultimately she said that she wanted to be nothing more than good friends right now (trying to make me feel better/stick around, I presume) and I wasn't having that so I told her to give me some time to myself to not be pissed off at her. Since that discussion (give or take 3 weeks), I have done a bunch of things right and a bunch of things wrong and would like to touch on those points. I do have some questions too. The day that we had that talk I was genuinely pissed off at her for having wasted my time. I got a text from an old friend of mine who happened to be a girl who had a major crush on me for as long as I can remember. I came over and we hooked up, basically she knew it was nothing emotional and that actually ended up okay despite having the possibility to become a disaster. Since then, I've focused a lot less on superficial things and more on myself and my own happiness. I've definitely reconnected with a bunch of my old passions and I've been doing things to lift my mood. However, I haven't reconnected with old friends just because I didn't want to trick my brain into thinking it's okay to go back to the past in search of happiness, it seemed to defeat the purpose of what I was trying to do -- teach myself to live in the present. Anyway, I also decided to implement a no-contact policy. Initially, it was going to be just for a month, but I'm actually kind of enjoying myself lately. I am leaning now more towards until she contacts me. Mostly because we do sports together in the winter and I know I'll be seeing her around. To be honest, I haven't adhered completely to every rule of no contact (I still follow her on social media and whatnot. I believe we can be friends in the future and I think blocking/unfollowing would create some bad blood. It doesn't hurt me to see her on these mediums anyway) other than the main one -- not contacting her. I haven't spoken to her since and I don't think I'm going to speak to her. I think she's starting to realize now around the 3-week period that I'm pretty much fed up with her and I'm not coming back. She favorited my tweet the other day, probably just probing for a response, making sure I still knew she existed. Like I would forget lol. Or she genuinely liked the tweet I made and I'm thinking too much, which leads me to my next point. Emotionally, I feel fine without her. I haven't cried for like 2 weeks over it and I don't even get emotional thinking about things anymore. It makes me happy to know that we were happy together at one point and the memories are all good, she was a good girl. My biggest problem is that I still find myself thinking about her when I'm alone. Not fondly or negatively, just kind of thinking about her. Curious what she's up to, etc. etc. which leads me to believe that maybe I'm really not over her yet. It annoys me a lot that her favoriting my tweet is any different from the other 13 people who favorited it. I really want to be truly indifferent to her and forget about her, or at least not care about small things concerning her. I seem to be at an emotional plateau where I can't seem to really get over that final hump. I know it has only been a few weeks, but I seem to be getting along fine. I want to finally be actually done. Just so I can enjoy my summer. As for her offer to be friends, I haven't really put much thought to it. I'm not sure I'm interested in that. But yeah, how do I stop thinking about her? When will I be able to be completely detached? It seems that I've cut off all emotional and contact ties, so I'm not really sure what's missing or what's next. No contact has been easy for me to maintain minus the first few days.
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