hugznkisses21 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 ok so im reading posts here...and im learning a few thinks...dont nag, give him his space, let him come to you somtimes....ok So im usually on him about all sorts of things and I can be needy, which i know he isnt a fan of...so all last week i did my own thing...didnt nag, gave him space, kept our calls short so i can have me time...and what does he say....whats up you have been acting weird.... Good lord i cant win...LOL just a rant! I love the guy...he just confusses the hell outta me...lol
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 wait i have more...lol Ok...why if he loves you does he... A) turn down lovemaking B) cant keeps his hands off u one day and they hardly comes near u the next C)ok men say we nag...he bitches about stupid things gets himself all frustrated next thing i know he is crusty...lol I just dot understand them no matter how many books I read it dont matter. He love me i know i love him we are godo together but he is just like they say in men are from mars.....that up and down rollercoster theory....monday he was hands all over me this weekend....i think me barelt looked at me...and then just wait next time i see him all over me again...i just cant keep it....lol
karlym3 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 what did you say when he asked you why you were acting wierd. You should just reply that you are pre-occupied. So has it proven a positive outcome you acting this way. Maybe he likes your new behavior. Keep us posted on how he acts. We always hear the advice... btu never hear the outcome and if it works!!
IceIceBaby Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Haha, I know exactly what you're saying. Guys always say how simple they are, but I'm starting to think that's not true at all.
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 Well outcome not soo great...cause he was tired and moody this weekend so i asked him what was up and stuff and hes like oh nothin _ you typical guy answer and i was like u have been acting a bit blah since u picked me up and hes like well u have been acting weird all week....lol im kinda confussed on what to do...I told him i was PMSing...which was true and i was feeling a bit more to myself and stuff... So like now what do i go back to my slightly needy and mushy ways or do i be my independant not always all over him self....geeze maybe a balance...how do i do that...lol wow they are complicated. Its weird last week he was ALL about cuba cause we are going and he was ohhhh we are going have soo much fun in the hotel and hint hint nudge nudge this weekend....no sex...no nothing....lol I think I have figured it out he is spoiled and thinks about things or does things on his own agenda....much like my five year old sister...someone once told me men need to be treated like 5 year olds.....if they are mad they hate u and want to be left alone and then outta no where (when ua re still wondering what the hell happened) they are ALL over u and talking to u again...lol
karlym3 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 So like now what do i go back to my slightly needy and mushy ways or do i be my independant not always all over him self.... NEVER EVER BE NEEDY!!!!! be independent always, even if he says you are acting wierd
Podna Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 How long have you guys been together? I know if I have been with someone for a long time, (year or longer) and then they just all of a sudden swing a 180, I get a little worried. It has been my experience that when someone (particularly women) changes dramatically and autonomously overnight, that is a sign of a big fight or other trouble shortly down the road. So I would in return get a little paranoid and perhaps cranky. Drastic changes in behavior are normally a red flag, for me at least. Perhaps you should explain why you are doing what you are doing. Just tell him that you were afraid you were smothering him so you decided to step back a little and allow him some space. He will probably thank you once he understands what it all means. Guys are really not that complicated folks, at least most aren’t. We are just easily confused!
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 they pull 180's in behavior all the time and when we ask whats wrong we get "nothing" and they get all distance and we are told this is them getting space to deal with things and soon enough they will come around....so why would me changing my behavior be a red flag if im suppose to not worry about him behavior changes that are "normal" cause men distance themselves all the time
Podna Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 You are lumping men and women into the same emotional category. Bad idea! Men (most men) aren’t as open with their emotions as women are. When faced with conflict or strife I tend to withdraw a bit to try and sort it out for myself. Maybe it’s a macho thing, I don’t know. Women on the other hand, tend to be more open and honest about their feelings. So if a women closes herself off it tends to mean something a little different than when a man closes himself off, at least, in my experience.
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 oh....ya i can see what u are saying...i guess i didnt realize...so what do u suggest?
Podna Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 I would just tell him why it is that you have been acting strange. Let him know you were trying to help and give him his space. Then tell him if space is not what he wants, so much the better.
Author hugznkisses21 Posted February 21, 2005 Author Posted February 21, 2005 i did....he sais no u dont need to do that....but sometimes it works and he chases after me a bit u know...we have been together 1 yr 8 motnhs so sometimes we need to bring backa chase cause the hooneymod phase was over a while ago
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