gj13 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 So after posting several times here about how I wished i'd get any form of breadcrumb... my ex called on friday, after 5 weeks of strict NC. SUPER early...8:05 AM, i arrive at 8am to work and he knows. I didn't pick up so I will forever remain curious as to what he wanted. I don't want to read much into it but i feel SO intrigued... other than that, NO impulse to call him back or anything. I do think that if he needed/wanted something he'd just sent me a whatsapp or whatever, not a full call. But who knows? thoughts? Should i have picked up? My mind is going nuts and super curious. Needless to say it was an ego booster for the rest of the day (regardless of whatever reason he might've called, it just felt good) Other than that i'm OK, just finishing my applications to my master's degree (wish me luck?) 3
Justaguy30 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Its hard to say, he may have wanted to see you that day and thought that if he called so early he could make some sort of plan with you. Perhaps he needed advice about something. Either way not answering was the right thing to do seeing how as you don't want anything to do with him.
Author gj13 Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 I got to the point where i was not expecting him to contact me AT ALL so it took me by surprise. I would at some point like to hear what he has to say if by any chance he has reconciliation in mind, but i figured that if that's what he wants he has a way of showing so. The surprise factor was what prevented me from taking the call. Also, i think that if it were something trivial he'd just sent me a message or something less personal. Don't know... I feel it's still a little early, but the fact that he called makes me wonder if he intends to reinitiate contact... I'm unsure if i should answer if he tries to call again.
Pleasant Surprise Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I got to the point where i was not expecting him to contact me AT ALL so it took me by surprise. I would at some point like to hear what he has to say if by any chance he has reconciliation in mind, but i figured that if that's what he wants he has a way of showing so. The surprise factor was what prevented me from taking the call. Also, i think that if it were something trivial he'd just sent me a message or something less personal. Don't know... I feel it's still a little early, but the fact that he called makes me wonder if he intends to reinitiate contact... I'm unsure if i should answer if he tries to call again. It sounds like this person is just trying to see if you're around and if you're waiting for him. Picking up the phone would've been a wrong move in the direction of reconciliation. I think it's better for you to be chased a little and make this person work at getting you back if it is the case. If you pick up the phone and tell the person how much you've been thinking about them it just comes off as desperate and unattractive. The reasons for calling don't matter at all. Usually if a person has something to say they manage to find a way to do it. Also remember NC is for you, not reconciliation.
No Limit Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Good luck for your master's degree! It was just a breadcrumb, don't worry. Quite an ego-boost though, eh?
Author gj13 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 Good luck for your master's degree! It was just a breadcrumb, don't worry. Quite an ego-boost though, eh? Thank you Yes it is, a little high in my ups and downs road... let's how things progress should he try to call again 1
Author gj13 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 It sounds like this person is just trying to see if you're around and if you're waiting for him. Picking up the phone would've been a wrong move in the direction of reconciliation. I think it's better for you to be chased a little and make this person work at getting you back if it is the case. If you pick up the phone and tell the person how much you've been thinking about them it just comes off as desperate and unattractive. The reasons for calling don't matter at all. Usually if a person has something to say they manage to find a way to do it. Also remember NC is for you, not reconciliation. Thank you for your reply Thankfully if i chose to answer at some point it won't take me by surprise anymore (so i won't go around pining over him again). I am aware NC is for me and as such i've been doing and trying new things, that's pretty much the reason why i'm starting to feel calmer and happier (5 weeks and a half through it). I thought i'd be so MUCH worse at it, but i guess i am a little stronger than i thought
Author gj13 Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 Ever since that call, and even if i have been keeping strict NC... i can't kep him off my mind. I keep myself busy at work, grad school which is about to start, dance lessons, friends & family etc... even netflix, and STILL i can't get by a day without thinking about him MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. Seriously... what the hell. That call just restarted an awful cycle of what if thoughts and whatnot It's not good, i was doing so much better before his call (which i didn't even answer). I don't even want to think where'd i'd be if i had. Any suggestions??
Always Pondering Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Ever since that call, and even if i have been keeping strict NC... i can't kep him off my mind. I keep myself busy at work, grad school which is about to start, dance lessons, friends & family etc... even netflix, and STILL i can't get by a day without thinking about him MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. Seriously... what the hell. That call just restarted an awful cycle of what if thoughts and whatnot It's not good, i was doing so much better before his call (which i didn't even answer). I don't even want to think where'd i'd be if i had. Any suggestions?? If you're able to with your phone/service provider, block his number and all other ways for him to contact you. The contact proved to be a nice ego-boost but in the long-term, seems to be setting you back a little. In the light of things though, at least you didn't answer that call!
True Gent Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 Ever since that call, and even if i have been keeping strict NC... i can't kep him off my mind. I keep myself busy at work, grad school which is about to start, dance lessons, friends & family etc... even netflix, and STILL i can't get by a day without thinking about him MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. Seriously... what the hell. That call just restarted an awful cycle of what if thoughts and whatnot It's not good, i was doing so much better before his call (which i didn't even answer). I don't even want to think where'd i'd be if i had. Any suggestions?? Imagine how you'd be feeling if you'd answered it? You did well to ignore the call. I'd suggest blocking his number so he can't phone you, then that will take away the "if's, but's and maybes" scenario. What ever he phoned you for it wasn't important enough for him to call again, so therefore not worth your energy thinking about it. I know it's easier said than done, but I do think blocking is the answer.
perduetseul Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 So after posting several times here about how I wished i'd get any form of breadcrumb... my ex called on friday, after 5 weeks of strict NC. SUPER early...8:05 AM, i arrive at 8am to work and he knows. I didn't pick up so I will forever remain curious as to what he wanted. I don't want to read much into it but i feel SO intrigued... other than that, NO impulse to call him back or anything. I do think that if he needed/wanted something he'd just sent me a whatsapp or whatever, not a full call. But who knows? thoughts? Should i have picked up? My mind is going nuts and super curious. Needless to say it was an ego booster for the rest of the day (regardless of whatever reason he might've called, it just felt good) Other than that i'm OK, just finishing my applications to my master's degree (wish me luck?) That is amazing!!! Good for you! Of course you are curious but you did the right thing... If you had picked up, it probably would have been an ego-killer instead of an ego-booster.
Author gj13 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 That is amazing!!! Good for you! Of course you are curious but you did the right thing... If you had picked up, it probably would have been an ego-killer instead of an ego-booster. Yes indeed, that's what i was telling a friend yesterday. If i ended up feeling like with by not answering, God know how I'd feel if i had... regardless of what he wanted to say to me (which can't be anything of importance since he did not persist). Thank you!
Author gj13 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 If you're able to with your phone/service provider, block his number and all other ways for him to contact you. The contact proved to be a nice ego-boost but in the long-term, seems to be setting you back a little. In the light of things though, at least you didn't answer that call! Yes! It set me back a little. But I'm feeling i'll get over it soon too, if I could go NC for that long (so far) after almost 5 years, then a phone call has nothing on me!
Author gj13 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Imagine how you'd be feeling if you'd answered it? You did well to ignore the call. I'd suggest blocking his number so he can't phone you, then that will take away the "if's, but's and maybes" scenario. What ever he phoned you for it wasn't important enough for him to call again, so therefore not worth your energy thinking about it. I know it's easier said than done, but I do think blocking is the answer. Thank you True Gent, I think I will block it as you some of you have suggested. 1
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