Highschool Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 (edited) I'll try to make this short for you guys, but there's a lot to say and I'm bad at this (bear with me). Long story short, I met a girl (who was a friend of another girl I used to know) and asked her out after a month. She turned me down very sweetly and we became very close friends over the course of 6 months or so. I eventually got frustrated with how things were going since I really wanted to be more than her closest guy friend, and I was scared that I'd get hurt when she eventually found a guy to be her first boyfriend, a guy who likely wouldn't be me. So I had a long talk with her about some personal stuff in my life as well as all of that, we opened up to each other about some depression issues we've both had, and I told her I'd like to take a friendship break but after exams I think I'd be okay and we could resume hanging out. I sorta didn't follow my word, and shortly after exams started acting distant from her when she texted me, eventually deleting her off facebook/her number too. She texted me once after, and said hi to me at my job (and I looked away and walked away... fight or flight...). --- I think I'm over her, but I've been in a much better mood lately than when we were hanging out constantly. I do want to apologize/reconnect, but have no idea how to do it. Idk if she thinks I'm mad at her, and idk if she's mad at me. I would be, though.. The facebook thing was a bit much, but it helped me get over her. Advice? I can give more info after, but I hate writing books for the OP haha! Edited July 14, 2014 by Highschool
leavesonautumn Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 The fact that you are happier now that you are not in contact should be a huge sign for you. I think you made the right decision, maybe a little rash but overall it was better for you. You wanted someone who wasn't going to reciprocate. You did the smart thing and avoided further hurt. Why do you want to get back in touch with her? I've reconnected with two male friends after some awkwardness but it was years after the fact and we had moved on from everything and we could continue being friends. So, I'm not saying it can't be done, it just depends on what you're trying to achieve by having her in your life again. 1
Author Highschool Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 (edited) The fact that you are happier now that you are not in contact should be a huge sign for you. I think you made the right decision, maybe a little rash but overall it was better for you. You wanted someone who wasn't going to reciprocate. You did the smart thing and avoided further hurt. Why do you want to get back in touch with her? I've reconnected with two male friends after some awkwardness but it was years after the fact and we had moved on from everything and we could continue being friends. So, I'm not saying it can't be done, it just depends on what you're trying to achieve by having her in your life again. Well the fact that I was definitely a little rash bugs me every so often. I know I'd be upset if some girl cut me off (it's happened once before although the girl in question was harsher), but at least I talked to her first? She was sweet to me and a good friend, and didn't do anything wrong. Even though I wasn't angry or anything I still was a bit harsh with the whole deletion thing. Maybe there's a way to stay friends, but I'll try to keep my distance from her in the future (acquaintances?). But staying connected would probably be better than not. I had felt that there's future potential with her, and who knows, but I don't care anymore. And maybe she'll introduce me to some friends of hers! Edited July 14, 2014 by Highschool
leavesonautumn Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 You seem to be pretty positive about the whole thing and not relying on getting with her so I think it'd be a good idea to apologize to her. What to expect from her, well that's something no one can predict but you have nothing to lose and hopefully both of you will feel better for it. There's nothing wrong with being friends and if you feel you've moved on then being friends again will probably be even better. I'd say go for it! However, keep in mind that she may not forgive or will not want to date in the future. If you don't take the chance then you will never know. 1
Author Highschool Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 (edited) You seem to be pretty positive about the whole thing and not relying on getting with her so I think it'd be a good idea to apologize to her. What to expect from her, well that's something no one can predict but you have nothing to lose and hopefully both of you will feel better for it. There's nothing wrong with being friends and if you feel you've moved on then being friends again will probably be even better. I'd say go for it! However, keep in mind that she may not forgive or will not want to date in the future. If you don't take the chance then you will never know. I'm just a bit worried that if I get too close to her (we were always hanging out 1 on 1 too, that probably didn't help) I'll get all infatuated again and be back at square one. So the trick is trying this again without getting too close, I feel like I've moved on but I definitely didn't like seeing her when she popped up at work. I couldn't even respond when she said hi, I just freaked out in my head when I heard her voice. It's stupid, I'm not sure why I'm that immature. How would I word an apology without rambling? Last time we talked it ended up being a 3 hour walk and stuff. She talked a good amount, but I rambled like crazy. I feel like I said WAY too much lol. She told me to let her know when I wanted to start hanging out again, if I ever wanted to talk about anything she'd always be there for me etc. And she said "you could text.. actually just call me if you want :)" before I dropped her off. So I guess she'd like hearing me better. Granted that was before I cut her off. Edited July 14, 2014 by Highschool
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