jelly99 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 ok ... my gf's father passed away about 4 months ago and to be honest she's changed quite a lot. I'm sure that she is going though a lot of paint and it must be terribly hard for her. Problem is that I'm accused of not being compassionate enough and not showing enough support. This girl means a lot to me but i'm no smooth talker and dont know what to say sometimes. Can you give me some clues on things that I can say/do when she is down to make her feel better? thanks. Ps. she doesnt live in the same down.. so most of the time i see her on msn or talk on the phone.
Hund1976 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Send her some letters and cards or flowers. Write something simple in it like "just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you" that shows you went through all the trouble to go to the store, buy a card, put a stamp on it and put it in the mailbox. Its not that big of a deal but its a lot more effort then just sending an email.
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Ask her how she is feeling, and listen. When she stops, ask more gentle questions based on what she said previously. Eg if mum was in a real state last time, ask how mum is today. Don't feel the urge to solve her problems, unless she specifically asks you too. You're there for empathy - to feel things with her.
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