mazda Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Its been 5 years since me and the ex broke up. She ended things. Is it normal to still find it really hard after 5 years apart?? In the 5 years ive not had any long term relationships. Ive had the odd fling but nothing more I seem to have pressed the self destruct button and am doing the opposite of what i should. I eat junk food, drink too much, dont work out, dont date, dont really go out unless i have to. My confidence is low...probably due to the above...but im still struggling to understand why im still finding things hard? Im putting off doing what i need to...diy....gym....socializing....i seem to work and come home! I cant really talk to my mates about it as they dont like the ex due to the way things ended. Even if they didint id feel a bit awkward saying to them im struggling after 5 years!! Any ideas? 1
love1336x Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Uh.... Maybe you should seek professional help. Its been two weeks for me and I already feel happy and at peace... Its truly a mind over the heart thing... You can't let your heart control you! But I can't really preach even though I'm happy. I'm barely eating still. Have you still been breaking NC? Even checking on her Facebook is consider breaking NC. You have to want to be happy... Happiness wont come knocking on your door. Ever. If you dont seek it... Then you will forever be stuck.
True Gent Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Five years is way too long to still be hung up over someone. Do you miss her or companionship? Do you have any interests or hobbies you enjoy? Are you able to get out once in a while with friends or even just work buddies? You need to find something to focus your energy/thoughts on. Have you thought of joining a club of some sort?
Author mazda Posted July 13, 2014 Author Posted July 13, 2014 I should have mentioned that i see her every day at work but very rarely speak to her I miss her companionship and also her as a partner. We clicked. I know she still feels the same but the fact we are still apart should mean i need to let go....and i have....but still cant get over her Ive got plenty of hobbies and i do get out with mates etc. Its not a case of i cant function...more a case of i cant stop thinking of her
Author mazda Posted July 13, 2014 Author Posted July 13, 2014 Yes. She has had a few short term things and is dating someone now
True Gent Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Why do you think she feels the same? I think seeing her daily is playing with your mind/emotions. Is there no way to get away from her in the working environment? I think if you hadn't seen her in the last 5 years you'd be doing a lot better by now. 1
BC1980 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Its been 5 years since me and the ex broke up. She ended things. Is it normal to still find it really hard after 5 years apart?? In the 5 years ive not had any long term relationships. Ive had the odd fling but nothing more I seem to have pressed the self destruct button and am doing the opposite of what i should. I eat junk food, drink too much, dont work out, dont date, dont really go out unless i have to. My confidence is low...probably due to the above...but im still struggling to understand why im still finding things hard? Im putting off doing what i need to...diy....gym....socializing....i seem to work and come home! I cant really talk to my mates about it as they dont like the ex due to the way things ended. Even if they didint id feel a bit awkward saying to them im struggling after 5 years!! Any ideas? You outlined what you are doing wrong, so the question is actually why don't you change? You know what to do but don't do it. So why don't you do it? What's going on that is making you self-destruct as you say? 2
Author mazda Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 Thanks for the replies folks Ive no idea why i cant do what i know i should....its weird! Im sure if i hadnt seen her every day since we broke i would be over her. The brain is a funny old thing sometimes
Simon Phoenix Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Time to get a new job dude. Honestly, that's 98 percent of the problem right there. We tend to covet the things we see every day, and seeing her at work every day for five years has caused you to prop her up on a pedestal of mythical proportions. And seeing her every day is probably a big reason why your self-confidence and motivation is in the toilet.
Sugarkane Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 Because you haven't had any other long term relationships I would guess.
nerdlingZA Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 This isn't healthy, totally not unhealthy. I went through what u going thru for 1yr and I thought it was super unhealthy. 5 ****ING YEARS??? Dude you're cursed, seek a voodoo practitioner
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