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How important is your partner's prior sexual history?

spinaroonie

By spinaroonie
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mrs rubble Established Member

mrs rubble

Posted
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The past is the past.....although I'm still coming to terms with the fact my fiance has slept with people we now socialize with!! I don't know if one day I'll find That a bit much!

marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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It would be concerning for me, but the main point is if they keep their past around in any shape, way, or form. If they do not keep it around, then I will make it work so that I am not just another number for them to add to their list be part of the problem... but it all depends on their actions and if they are trustworthy and genuine.

Edited by marcjb
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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And a lot of guys just aren't comfortable with a girl who has had a lot of partners. Not all men feel this way, but many of us do. My girlfriend is my princess. Hard to think of your girl like a princess when she's already been banged out by 100 guys. Also, it's never nice to have a bunch of random guys give your girlfriend that wave, the one where you know he used to sleep with her.

 

 

 

Of course it's a double standard, but it's one that's partially perpetuated by women. Women prefer a confident guy, and that confidence usually comes from a lot of experience. Since most ladies don't care how many girls we men have sex with, we can do the pump and dump on any number of women and ya don't care.

 

 

Most women don't care as much about numbers high OR low. I have dated men that had a lot of experience, and men with very little. I never place a man of experience as a higher value over someone with less. The extreme numbers you mentioned, nobody men or women would ever touch that not even me.

 

The biggest complainers are the guys that have say had 3 partners to their GFs 7. That is insecurity.

  • Like 2
ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

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There you go, it's just a matter of opinion, but what we are saying an active sexual past doesn't always mean they can't be a good partner. It's all about what you are comfortable with.

 

I notice it's mostly men having more of an issue with ones sexual past than women do, and those opinions I find unfair.....more of a double standard IMO. If a guy has conquests he's regarded as a hero, for a woman she is a slut and there something wrong with her.

 

BTW I have had a one night stand turn into a relationship, so you just never know.

 

As you say its a matter of what the person is comfortable with. Its their call. They have that right if they would like to know the full nature of the person they are going to have a relationship with. If they deem a person's sexual history relevant that's up to them, and the their partner withholding information that they know/suspect could be relevant to their partner is short changing them. Just because they don't think its relevant doesn't mean they can impose that verdict on their prospective partner.

 

Yes it is more of an issue with men. Yes it is a double standard if the guy was a player with lots of 'dirty girls' but only wants a 'good girl' for a LTR/wife. For guys with minimal NSA sex, its not a double standard. As for the double standard of players getting more respect as the hero, many women are happy to sponsor them, and many 'nice girls' are happy to settle down with former payers. They don't care about dbl standard as they feel special they snagged a desired guy.

marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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It's a double standard because women are primarily the ones that have to consent for sex to take place. Men generally have to put the work in while women just have to make the decision. If not, then it's just a free for all. That's why if a woman has had a bunch of sexual partners, yes, she is a slut. If she isn't a slut, then please tell me your new definition.

Edited by marcjb
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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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I agree it's a matter of ones comfort zone. I just don't find it acceptable to base a narrow minded opinion(mental issues, something wrong with them, can't be trusted, etc) on someone just because they had more moderate past. People do mature and grow out of it, especially when they find the one to settle down with. Just another stage of life.

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smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

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It's a double standard because women are primarily the ones that have to consent for sex to take place. Men generally have to put the work in while women just have to make the decision. If not, then it's just a free for all. That's why if a woman has had a bunch of sexual partners, yes, she is a slut. If she isn't a slut, then please tell me your new definition.

If it wasn't for sexually free women, very few men would ever get laid.

 

Then there would be threads on "Why do women hold such a high value on their pu ssy." or "I'm so broke from paying hookers, when will a woman give in and let me have it for free." Double standard alright. damn if we do and damn if we don't.

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somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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If it wasn't for sexually free women, very few men would ever get laid.

 

Then there would be threads on "Why do women hold such a high value on their pu ssy." or "I'm so broke from paying hookers, when will a woman give in and let me have it for free." Double standard alright. damn if we do and damn if we don't.

 

I strongly disagree with you.

 

Women who are sleeping around a lot, are sleeping with a certain type of guy. Sluts won't have sex with just anybody. They don't give away sex to lonely guys.

 

Simply put, I have never had sex with a slut.

 

Frankly, I wish women would stop sleeping around and would only stick to sex in relationships.

  • Like 5
marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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If it wasn't for sexually free women, very few men would ever get laid.

 

Then there would be threads on "Why do women hold such a high value on their pu ssy." or "I'm so broke from paying hookers, when will a woman give in and let me have it for free." Double standard alright. damn if we do and damn if we don't.

 

I've bolded the part that should be answered for anyone that disagrees what a "sexually liberated" woman should be called.

 

It's a double standard because women are primarily the ones that have to consent for sex to take place. Men generally have to put the work in while women just have to make the decision. If not, then it's just a free for all. That's why if a woman has had a bunch of sexual partners, yes, she is a slut. If she isn't a slut, then please tell me your new definition.

 

I strongly disagree with you.

 

Women who are sleeping around a lot, are sleeping with a certain type of guy. Sluts won't have sex with just anybody. They don't give away sex to lonely guys.

 

Simply put, I have never had sex with a slut.

 

Frankly, I wish women would stop sleeping around and would only stick to sex in relationships.

 

This.

 

As a guy, I take sex seriously and not just something to do with a random person when I'm bored. It's something that I like to do with someone that I value, because I value myself. I appreciate a woman that feels the same way.

Edited by marcjb
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clia Established Member

clia

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I think it's weird that people ask, and even more weird that people answer. It's no one's business but your own. To me, it is not important at all.

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marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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I think it's weird that people ask, and even more weird that people answer. It's no one's business but your own. To me, it is not important at all.

 

Why do employers do background checks? Why does it matter if someone has robbed a bank before? It's no one's business, and it's not important, right?

Edited by marcjb
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FitnessRN Established Member

FitnessRN

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well, it would be important to get tested before messing around

  • Like 1
marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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To put it simply, the chances are higher that if someone (not specifically women) has had a bunch of sexual parters they are probably not going to take a relationship as seriously. No guy is going to appreciate a woman who has had a bunch because she essentially has less boundaries, and her ethics are questionable. It does not make it right for a guy to have a bunch of past sexual partners either, but it certainly is not easier for a guy to have a bunch than it is for a girl to have a bunch. Past behavior is always the best predictor of future behavior.

Edited by marcjb
  • Like 2
leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

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If it wasn't for sexually free women, very few men would ever get laid.

 

Then there would be threads on "Why do women hold such a high value on their pu ssy." or "I'm so broke from paying hookers, when will a woman give in and let me have it for free." Double standard alright. damn if we do and damn if we don't.

 

Exactly. Take a look around on this website. There are SO MANY threads by guys basically saying "why won't women have sex with meee" and when they do have sex with them "man, she is SUCH a slut i wish women didn't have sex with men it makes me feel uncomfortable".

  • Like 1
leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

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To put it simply, the chances are higher that if someone (not specifically women) has had a bunch of sexual parters they are probably not going to take a relationship as seriously. No guy is going to appreciate a woman who has had a bunch because she essentially has less boundaries, and her ethics are questionable. It does not make it right for a guy to have a bunch of past sexual partners either, but it certainly is not easier for a guy to have a bunch than it is for a girl to have a bunch. Past behavior is always the best predictor of future behavior.

 

What's your definition of too many sexual partners? Genuinely curious.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

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Another thing I want to mention is that the average woman is very selective about who she has sex with. Hell, women are very careful about who they even show their body to.

 

I was in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico last week and I frequently went to a bar that had a wet t-shirt contest every day. Even though the prize was $400, it was still a major pain for the bar to actually get 5 women who were willing to participate and would take forever to get everybody on stage.

 

So a woman who has sex with a lots of guys is most definitely not the norm.

 

My first guess is that what I mentioned earlier, that a woman who has sex with lots of guys may have some issues with men and/or herself. If not and she was "normal" she wouldn't be sleeping around.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
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Exactly. Take a look around on this website. There are SO MANY threads by guys basically saying "why won't women have sex with meee" and when they do have sex with them "man, she is SUCH a slut i wish women didn't have sex with men it makes me feel uncomfortable".

 

Are you sure you're not talking about two types of men?

 

Yes there are plenty of guys complaining that women won't have sex with them. Guess what, those guys are still complaining; they aren't having sex with sluts.

 

The guys who do have sex with women quickly on, and are calling those girls sluts, were never the guys who were complaining about not being able to get laid.

  • Like 1
marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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Posted
Exactly. Take a look around on this website. There are SO MANY threads by guys basically saying "why won't women have sex with meee" and when they do have sex with them "man, she is SUCH a slut i wish women didn't have sex with men it makes me feel uncomfortable".

 

Take a look around on this website. There are SO MANY threads by people that have been cheated on, or those that are going through their partner dealing with GIGS, and all of it is due to people being "sexually free", not knowing the concept of boundaries. Their sexual history reveals a lot.

wwwwww Member

wwwwww

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The numbers don't really bother me. But in the last year, I have met two women I went on casual dates on, who admitted having sex for a fee.

 

 

 

 

Damn you stupid plentyofhookers.com

 

 

Never again.

marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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What's your definition of too many sexual partners? Genuinely curious.

 

Male: lucky

Female: slut

 

I've already explained this a few times in previous posts.

 

It's a double standard because women are primarily the ones that have to consent for sex to take place. Men generally have to put the work in while women just have to make the decision. If not, then it's just a free for all. That's why if a woman has had a bunch of sexual partners, yes, she is a slut. If she isn't a slut, then please tell me your new definition.
ascendotum Established Member

ascendotum

Posted
Posted
If it wasn't for sexually free women, very few men would ever get laid.

 

Then there would be threads on "Why do women hold such a high value on their pu ssy." or "I'm so broke from paying hookers, when will a woman give in and let me have it for free." Double standard alright. damn if we do and damn if we don't.

 

I disagree. If guys are getting laid then likewise women aren't getting laid or are enjoying a relationship. It just wouldn't happen. If there was much less casual sex, it would just be like the old days. Men & women partnering up 1 on 1 in relationships. NSA sex is less equally distributed amongst guys then it for women. These are really great times for some guys, which partly explains the double standard and also some guys angst at being with a former party girl who would not have been up for action with them in her dirty girl days. There are threads on the www for "Why do women hold such a high value on their pu ssy."...its from the average joe rarely get lucky/frustrated chumps/nice guys who only get sex in LTRs after waiting out the qualifying period. lol.

  • Like 4
leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

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Posted
Take a look around on this website. There are SO MANY threads by people that have been cheated on, or those that are going through their partner dealing with GIGS, and all of it is due to people being "sexually free", not knowing the concept of boundaries. Their sexual history reveals a lot.

 

Excuse me but just because someone has a sexual past before their current SO does NOT mean they are going to cheat on them. I've seen you post this same idea before and it's so ludicrous. This is what the thread was about. Someone had sex with someone else before the relationship. Are you saying this person will cheat? How does that make any sense?

leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

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Male: lucky

Female: slut

 

I've already explained this a few times in previous posts.

 

That doesn't answer my question. My question was HOW MANY would be considered too much? 1? 6? 25?

 

Good thing I don't let men control the way I think and I will continue to have a free mind in regards to this topic.

  • Like 2
marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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What's your definition of too many sexual partners? Genuinely curious.

 

Also, too many sexual partners would be relative to age, so there isn't a specific answer for such a general question.

marcjb Established Member

marcjb

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Excuse me but just because someone has a sexual past before their current SO does NOT mean they are going to cheat on them. I've seen you post this same idea before and it's so ludicrous. This is what the thread was about. Someone had sex with someone else before the relationship. Are you saying this person will cheat? How does that make any sense?

 

I never said this was the case, all I said was that the possibility is definitely higher than someone with stronger boundaries and values.

 

I'm still waiting on the new definition for slut. http://lmgtfy.com/?q=slut+definition

 

The person that thinks it's ok to be "sexually liberated" should also be the one who has no problem disclosing their sexual history to their parter, otherwise they are also a hypocrite.

 

It's kind of like buying a product at a store which is supposed to be new, only to find out the store just gave you an item which was used and returned buy another customer. You look at it differently if you know before hand that it was a used / returned item which they are selling at a discounted price upfront rather than playing games and passing it off as new.

 

If I have prior knowledge that a girl is a slut, I'll stay away. Im not interested in flings or devaluing myself by being with someone like that. I'm only interested in having longterm relationships with a self respecting woman.

Edited by marcjb
  • Like 1
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