Weezy1973 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 OP the guy is a jerk and likely hangs out with other jerks which is why he thinks all men are like that - we decidedly are not. And Ninjapajamas is also way off base - it's way more likely that men are putting on the macho front when they get together and talk with the guys than it is they're putting on an act with their wives and girlfriends. I would say that the vast majority of men are their authentic selves with their partners - it's one of the main reasons men love being in relationships is that it allows them a space to actually be vulnerable, instead of feeling the pressure to always act manly. 7
HappyLove Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 What a jerk! Some people just have no class. He's so dense he's probably thinking what the heck is her problem when you decided to leave. Clearly he didn't even read your profile. Did you have a conversation on the phone before you met? Something tells me he would have screwed up over the phone. What a waste of time. Don't let it get to you. He says these things to feel better about himself. 1
FitChick Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 My intuition is telling me that this guy was recently rejected by someone he cared enough about to introduce to his family. By dumping him, she humiliated him in front of said family because he has to face their questions. She was probably the first woman he'd dated in years so he jumped the gun,which freaked her out. This is why I vet every man as carefully as possible. You weed out these crazies. The alternative is to develop a thicker skin. 2
GemmaUK Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 What an idiot! I'm so sorry you experienced that. I've ended up interacting with a few men from OLD with the same kind of bitterness. I always think I was lucky they were like that from the beginning, a bullet easy to dodge. He probably saw you and realised he would have no chance so may as well act as bitter as if you had rejected him. 1
Elle1975 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 I was watching a documentary years ago, about serial killers exactly. Anyway, one man said something like this "sometimes there is no specific reason as to why someone is evil. They just are". On this forum we often get fed with hurtful stereotypes about men, and women. Truths cooked up in the back of a dirty mind; some women are guilty of it, some men are guilty of it. Because the slander is said with confidence, it appears true, when it's not. What matters in all honestly is who you are today. Because you are a good person, you took it personally. Could it be true that your trust can be so easily abused? Yes, some people will abuse your trust, but it's far from being the rule of thumb. Let him rot in his vile. He won't meet someone good, because his nature will take over. I am not talking about Karma, it's something I really don't believe in, because it's something that help us sleep at night, nothing more. What I believe is that people do not change that easily, and he will shoot himself in the foot, no worries. As for you, next time, leave the date. Not everybody is out there to put your down. I'm not. 2
deathandtaxes Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Thank you so much for bringing my spirit back up. I'm usually hard to bring down but that was one of a kind meeting ! I have a first coffee-date with someone new in half an hour. Lets hope this one is a gentleman. It seems we don't hear any good stories coming from you, OP. Do you have any? Or you only tell us all the bad? 2
Author Gaeta Posted July 13, 2014 Author Posted July 13, 2014 There is nothing wrong with you. This guy is a $&** ER. Cry a little because it hurts, and then realize your own worth. That you deserve better. 30 something and he's saying these things? What's his %^&* age again?? Tell him to grow the hell up ! Then go NC and block his ass. You don't need scum like him in your life. And say thatto him too before you go NC on his ass. Hard to believe but this man was 46.
Author Gaeta Posted July 13, 2014 Author Posted July 13, 2014 My intuition is telling me that this guy was recently rejected by someone he cared enough about to introduce to his family. By dumping him, she humiliated him in front of said family because he has to face their questions. She was probably the first woman he'd dated in years so he jumped the gun,which freaked her out. This is why I vet every man as carefully as possible. You weed out these crazies. The alternative is to develop a thicker skin. Funny you say that because yes he had a story like this. He was dating a woman that put pressure on him to meet his family, he introduced her then she broke up with him
Author Gaeta Posted July 13, 2014 Author Posted July 13, 2014 It seems we don't hear any good stories coming from you, OP. Do you have any? Or you only tell us all the bad? Two full years of searching' 100 + meetings and I got one relationship out of it. A great relationship I thought till he left the country without warning after 6 months. So no, I don't have good stories. Sad isn't it.
TAV Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 It seems we don't hear any good stories coming from you, OP. Do you have any? Or you only tell us all the bad? This is a forum for relationship PROBLEMS. You will not find many posts about wonderful relationship or dating experiences. 2
FitChick Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Funny you say that because yes he had a story like this. He was dating a woman that put pressure on him to meet his family, he introduced her then she broke up with him Damn, I'm good! Start meditating and you will become more intuitive and able to spot these guys miles off. Plus you will become calmer. I recommend meditation to everyone.
Shufflin Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 WTF. Why would you let someone disrespect you like that. You should have told him the three magic words "Go fuq yourself".
Smilecharmer Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Oh Gaeta, this is unfortunate. You could have got up and said, well, I won't waste my time with you then. And just left. Not sure what purpose this served the guy unless he is just crazy or likes hurting people's feelings for kicks. Guys like this and the ones Ninja talked about are losers who are bitter and self defeating. I mean, why date if this is how you feel? 1
Diezel Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I met someone from online yesterday afternoon. He bursts my bubble so bad that I cried on my way home. Left me drained and defeated. Gaeta, for the umpteenth time... it's time to step away from the computer and online dating for a while. Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Are you that desperate to be with someone right now? Every time you post a new story about some online jerk, it's like you almost love to torture yourself. Please, for your sake, step away for a while. 7
Mo_Do Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Two full years of searching' 100 + meetings and I got one relationship out of it. A great relationship I thought till he left the country without warning after 6 months. So no, I don't have good stories. Sad isn't it. Maybe its time to stop sharing every single thought or date with this community and start keeping some if this stuff to yourself. Not being mean, it'll just allow you to move onto the next one much quicker that way. Good luck
Better Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 So you mean it's true, when a man introduces you to his family it has no special significance for him? I introduced my girlfriend to my nephew, my sister, and my sister's mother-in-law this weekend. They were in my city for the weekend for a wedding and we spent a lot of time with them. It had a huge significance to me. I don't introduce people that I am dating to my family lightly. In fact, in 42 years I've only introduced them to three women: my ex-wife and two others, and all of them were strong relationships first before I even considered it. 1
Author Gaeta Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 Maybe its time to stop sharing every single thought or date with this community and start keeping some if this stuff to yourself. Not being mean, it'll just allow you to move onto the next one much quicker that way. Good luck I met 5 different men this week, I posted about 2. It's good for me to share this with a bunch of strangers that understand what I am going through. I am the only single person in my family, among my friends, and among my colleagues. They don't understand how difficult it is to meet someone nowadays at my age. But if i have monopolized this board I apologize. I will slow down. 1
Author Gaeta Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 Why do you keep doing this to yourself? Are you that desperate to be with someone right now? Every time you post a new story about some online jerk, it's like you almost love to torture yourself. Please, for your sake, step away for a while. Because I have been alone for 10 years, 10 years of being alone at every holiday, every event, every vacations, every work function, every weekends, that is 3,650 nights going to be alone, I am longing for a companion, it's that hard to understand? 1
CaliGypsy Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 What a jerk. On the plus side you didn't waste a lot of your time on him. Take what you need from this forum and leave the rest. If you are getting something from us keep posting. You haven't posted an extreme amount of posts. You don't need to justify or explain your desire for a relationship. I will say it's a great opportunity to take advantage of the fact you have a large pool of diverse opinions. 2
Diezel Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Because I have been alone for 10 years, 10 years of being alone at every holiday, every event, every vacations, every work function, every weekends, that is 3,650 nights going to be alone, I am longing for a companion, it's that hard to understand? My mom was alone for 20 years until she found the man of her dreams (Yep, not my dad). I know what she went through, but she didn't thrust herself into these situations over and over. I get it, you are lonely, but is it worth the price of your self-esteem, your time, and going through all of these situations? And please, don't tell me about being alone. I live in a different country than the rest of my entire family. I get to see them once a year, if I am lucky. So you can imagine what my holidays, my events, my weekends are like... but I would never, ever continually put myself in that position simply because I didn't want to be alone. I think you are better than that, and you don't deserve what is happening to you, but you need to believe that and trumpet that yourself as well. 3
Blade96 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Hard to believe but this man was 46. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.
BlueIris Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Walk out as soon as someone even starts something like that. Also, carry enough cash in various denominations to pay the waitress as you walk out. My grandma taught me that (“mad money” she called it) and she was born in 1898. So, offensive people have apparently been around forever and quick exits have been necessary forever. I agree with Diezel, but if you won’t take a break, at least be much MUCH pickier at the first cut, before meeting. Very few people are going to be a good match (for anyone), so weed out much earlier and much more realistically. I’m actually worried that your screening process isn't strong enough and that you could get hurt one day. Take the reins on this.
Elliotte Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 People that think "all women are like this, and all men are like that" are idiots. Just because this guy was feel douchey enough to let you in on his scumbag motivations, does not mean he speaks for men in general. You made the right decision to walk away from this guy immediately. 4
gaius Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 =/ I hope you didn't based on what anyone here said to you. You have every right to make threads about sorting through a few toads before you find a decent guy, if that's what you want. Sometimes people here give terrible advice trying to keep you from being successful for one reason or another. Besides, someone who shares the name of a battlestar galactica character deserves some happiness. 1
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