lonely_ladybug Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 OK, let me preface this with the fact that I am not experienced with dating at all. I had a four year relationship in high school and a bit of college and went through that breakup last September. So, I haven't gotten into the college dating scene much at all. So the story is, I go to a women's university on the West coast and recently (last weekend) met a guy at a nearby school at a small party. We had an intense conversation and I was smitten with him, fascinated by the connection we had. We know a lot of the same people from back home as it turns out he is from my town. He broke up with his long-term girlfriend three months ago. He suggested we have lunch later on at the end of the night and so the next day as planned I got in touch with him the next day via this internet networking site for college students. I prolonged the date later in the week, but he came up to me on campus two days early (I take a class over at his school) and asked if I had to go home right away (I did); I was really suprised and really happy. That was really exciting. There were so many coincidences in meeting this guy, I was really swept off my feet. Also I'm really looking for a guy to have some fun with since I'm just now over the breakup, no longer pining night and day for my ex! He's the first guy I've really clicked with, been on a couple dates but never anything as wonderful and magical as this. Later in the week, we had a great lunch, talked for well over an hour without interruption. We talked about atypical "first date" topics though -- religion/spirituality, politics, etc. He is really nerdy but adorable, and our conversations flow easier than with anyone I've ever met before. (Don't know if he feels the same way.) As we were parting he said "This was fun, we should do it again sometime," and I suggested early this coming week before my class. That evening, I wrote him a message that evening to continue part of a little discussion we had, and in a kind of joking, clever way interwove it with saying I had really enjoyed having lunch with him. The issue I'm having now is that he hasn't responded. Not that I asked him a question or anything demanding a response, it was just telling him I'd had a nice time -- I didn't think that was too flirty or forward or anything. But now I'm worried, since he hasn't responded at all yet I know for sure he read it Friday night. I also made a stupid typo in my message and am afraid I look like a complete idiot. Any thoughts on what might be going on here? Other circumstances include that I have a gigantic lack of self-confidence. Also I am very tall and very striking and tend to intimidate guys quite a bit, even though all those "He's Just Not that Into You" kind of books say guys are never intimidated if they like you enough. (Not true with my last boyfriend, but whatever.) He is kind of quirky and nerdy and perhaps he didn't know how to respond? My worst fear is that he thought I was dumb or got scared and thought I was desperate for a boyfriend. Also I don't know how to tell if he's really interested in me or just trying to be friends. Any advice on how to tell? Does his behavior seem like more? It does to me but I'm not that experienced, guys usually never show any interest in me. Is one week too soon to show too great a level of interest? Should I ask him out for something more than lunch? Or should I just wait for him to take the initiative, since that seems the traditional role guys take? I am afraid he will think I'm desperate or too forward especially since I go to a women's university. Any and all responses are GREATLY appreciated, I am getting WAY too stressed out about this. Thank you!
Artifact Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 It sounds like you two did hit it off. So, it's possible that he has been too busy to respond, hasn't gotten your message yet, or something else innocent. It has only been a couple of days. I'd say, give it a day or two more, and if you don't hear from him, drop him another note (or call) and see if he is free for lunch the next time you are on his campus. Treat him like you would a friend. (Unless you have a particular reason to play hard to get.) Just relax and let it flow. Good luck.
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 Artifact is right. It sounds like the two of you hit it off. In this guy's shoes, I wouldn't necessarily phone back straight away either. So wait a day or two then ring him back. And if he's not interested, tall and striking with intelligent conversation sounds pretty good to me PS Don't beat yourself up about the spelling mistake - if he likes you, he will tolerate bigger things than this. You'll just have to trust me on this one
rowi1116 Posted February 21, 2005 Posted February 21, 2005 hey, you did hit it off, you both had a great time. so give him a few days, guys are always behind with things plus it is a long holiday weekend. he may have had to take care of things with his family at home or is working on some project in school. be confident that you held great conversations with him, be confident that this guy mangaged to find you after a class and invited you out to lunch and you had a great time. Glad to hear that you are over your ex. I also read the "He is just not that into you" book, and for the most part it held true. you are a smart girl. best of luck with this fellow.
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