Guitarisgood Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 I was not bad to start off with. I was the larrikin that everyone loved. But obviously not the creme of the crop. Then I started eating right, taking medicine for my acne, really hitting the gym, studying harder and pursuing my sporting hobbies more. I guess I've probably gone from goofball to a more introverted person as well - the result of being continually turned down by woman and a sense of frustration at myself. Fast forward past the university break and my acne and scars have cleared up. I've leaned up quite a bit and improved my dress sense and I don't really 'hang' with people around university no more; busy with my life. The weird thing is now the girls are noticing. I get looks and more numbers and invitations than I did for the last 5 years of my late teens. I had a female friend that I was interested in that turned me down then but is practically throwing herself at me now. Yet I am not interested. It's made me feel even more conflicted and a bit negative at worst. I mean I'm not egocentric, but people did not have a thought about me then yet now it's like everyone wants a part of me. How do I take this?
Elle1975 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 It's hard to adjust to the new you. You'll often see that with people who have lost a lot of weight. I say, don't blame them for being attracted to you because you made the effort to improve yourself physically. I think it's great. 1
FitChick Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Live somewhere else where no one knew you before. Then you won't have to punish women for not finding you attractive many years ago. Or just get fat again and feel sorry for yourself.
Oregon_Dude Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Sounds like your social crew is superficial and didn't appreciate the "unattractive" you in the first place. I'm glad you're more confident, and I can understand your resentment at all the new found attention. I agree with FitChick: start over with new friends and women. A clean slate is so amazing... people who don't know the old you will only know what you present to the world. Then again, you could just embrace it, and get laid.
rocketman122 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Sounds like your social crew is superficial and didn't appreciate the "unattractive" you in the first place. I'm glad you're more confident, and I can understand your resentment at all the new found attention. I agree with FitChick: start over with new friends and women. A clean slate is so amazing... people who don't know the old you will only know what you present to the world. Then again, you could just embrace it, and get laid. who the hell isnt superficial. everyone wants to date someone on their level or higher. the vast majority of dating is based on superficiality. look at tinder OLD. a yes or no based on your picture. I live on planet earth..and you?
phineas Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 who the hell isnt superficial. everyone wants to date someone on their level or higher. the vast majority of dating is based on superficiality. look at tinder OLD. a yes or no based on your picture. I live on planet earth..and you? Yep. being bitter about women that want you after you got in shape = missing out on a lot of sex. OP probably wouldn't date a fat girl now i'm willing to bet. The only time I turned down someone from my fat days who wasn't interested was when they led me on and jerked me around. surprisingly those were the first women to be throwing themselves at me. I admit, I let myself get sucked in for a bit but then after I started getting laid I learned there were better women out there. Another thing, a lot of women who weren't interested in me before that were after I got in shape, I got to know & it turned out they really were not what I was looking for so I lost interest.
Versacehottie Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 It's the opposite of a vicious circle--you do good things for yourself and it radiates more confidence from you, which in turn generates more interest from others, which generates more confidence in you. And so on and so forth. Most people look to "something" on the outside that is a spark for them. Not just looks although that is very typical first thing. Then they are willing to delve further and find the person within. It is also demeanor and other things. Try not to be offended that people are willing to want more with you now (although i kinda agree with you about girl who previously friendzoned you). When a person values himself enough to take care of himself in all ways, people read that and are attracted to it. It's just like you are showing the value you had for yourself on the inside on the outside as well. It's shorthand, in a way, letting people know what you're about. People like to surround themselves with confident people because it's inspirational. You're interest in them imparts value to themselves. Not making this up there are studies that back this up. In any case, you should embrace yourself for the work that you done to get yourself where you are. It means a lot of things besides the superficial. It shows dedication, etc etc--other good qualities that are hard to show someone quickly unless they take the time to get to know you. Get comfortable with the new attention and do what you want with it. Good luck
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