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Coming onto 2 months since BU


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Posted

Only an 8 month relationship, but it was very involved with plans of moving in together.

 

The first few days were very rough. I don't think I'd ever had my heart broken like that before. The following couple of weeks were a roller coaster of emotions, most of which were unpleasant.

 

The past week has been very calm. I seldom think of her. And when I do, the thoughts quickly escape my mind. There's no looming over them. No rumination. Even when the fleeting thoughts cross my mind I feel no emotional affect.

 

I'm thinking about other women. Not dating, but seriously considering my options and how to broaden them. I don't feel any guilt for this.

 

I don't really care if she does or doesn't contact me. Thoughts of reconciliation no longer cross my mind. I don't really care if she's dating someone else or even jumped into a full blown relationship. Whatever.

 

Lots contributed to recovery. No Contact and a very busy schedule. And these wonderful forums (where I first learned about NC). And support from friends and loved ones. There was also focus on self-improvement. I feel myself slipping a bit on the last one, but that has a lot to do with a 6-week work shift that'll finally end in a few days. Getting tired.

 

I'm not sure if the fatigue is behind my indifference or if I truly have reached acceptance. I'm feeling that it's acceptance.

 

I still care for her, but I no longer feel in love with her. I don't feel I'd want her back. There are many fantastic things I took away from our time together. Lots of memories to cherish.

 

I've still got a life to lead.

  • Like 2
Posted

you've made a big progress! I wish I would be in the same stage soon. I'm 80 days in NC and hell i'm keeping doing it.

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