MysticalWalrus Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 So I've got a dilemma. I respect this girl too much to go telling my friends about the situation, so I've resorted to online assistance... I met this girl at a party on Thursday night. She was totally my type, brunette, perfect body, very witty and intelligent, easy to talk to, flirtatous, adventurous and fun. While i was hanging out with her, one of my friends whispered to me "she's not dtf bro (meaning down to ****)". I responded "I'm not trying to get in her pants tonight, I really like this girl though". We were both inebriated and I got her number and had to leave the party. Fast forward to Friday. I text her around 8pm and we agree to hang out that night at my house to "watch a movie and eat food". She is out looking for a party with friends, and I'm at home sober. I picked her up around 11pm, and drive back to my place. I'm super excited, and so is she. I give her the tour of the house, and we end up watching a movie and drinking some wine. After about 30 mins, I started slowly getting closer, and eventually put my arm around her. We casually talked during the movie, which is hard to do and I don't reccommend it as a "first meeting/date" type situation. But eventually I we locked hands, and I continued to rub her legs and shoulders in a playful and sensual way. She ended up almost falling asleep. It's about 1:00am now, and I said "Lets go to bed now haha". Shes like "down"... So we get in my room, and end up making out for atleast 15 minutes. We eventually completely undressed eachother, and she told me she didn't want to have sex. Throughout the whole experience, she seemed pretty bashful, but still very curious. We ended up doing everything possible except for penetration, and it was amazing. She was completely into the entire thing and I know I did an awesome job. She was LOUD and it was very fun. Anyway, directly after it all happened, she puts her clothes back on, and she became silent. Her entire discourse became very reserved and anti-social as she put her bra back on. I came from behind her, wrapped my arms around her and kissed her on the neck. No physical response. I grabbed my keys, and opened the front door of the house for her. She left quickly, and didn't look back. My car was about 100ft away, and she was walking away from me at an increasing rate. I almost had to yell, "that was fun!" I said sincerely. "What?" she said, and turned around. "That was fun! we should do it again some time haha" I replied. "Nah, that really isn't my thing. I dont know why we did that". She said. "O..k" I responded. We got in the car, and it was a little awkward: "My house is a a couple blocks away, just do what I say." Her entire demeanor had changed from this cheerful, positive, understanding, charasmatic beautiful girl to an angry, strict, forceful personality. A minute or so into the ride home, she leaned forwards in the passenger seat and turned her head away from me. I could hear sniffles like crying, and she was hiding her face. We were at a stoplight so I put my hand on her back and said, "are you sure you're ok?" "I'm fine, just turn left up here." She said. Eventually we got to her house. I unlocked the car: "Bye" I said while I smiled at the side of her head. She got out of the car, half-slammed the door, and that was it. There's the story. My friends, I like this girl. I could see myself being with this girl for a long time. She has a lot of the traits I've been looking for and my previous girlfriends have lacked. My assumption is that this girl was guilty of hooking up with me so early on. She was not the hook up type (as explained by my friend [dude shes not dtf]) and you could tell that partying and getting with guys was a very small if not nonexistant part of her life. She has a high paying job, and probably doesn't want to be involved with that or labeled as a slut. I want to keep talking to this girl. What's the best approach? Thank you everyone for reading this, I would appreciate all comments. Let me know if there's anything i can clarify.
CarrieT Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 You screwed up on a number of fronts: You don't ask a girl you really like to your house at 11:00 at night to watch a movie. That reeks of "booty call." Then you went ahead and made some moves and - although she might have enjoyed it at the time - ultimately regretted getting as intimate as she did so quickly with someone she doesn't really know. How can you salvage the situation? Tell her up front that you are sorry you didn't treat her like a lady from the get go, want to make it up to her, and ask her on a PROPER DATE: dinner, discussion, and then - at the end of the evening - bring her home with nothing more than a chaste kiss. If she declines you, then move on. 4
d0nnivain Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Ask her out on a proper date. Do not move the date anywhere near a bed or even a horizontal make out position. Keep it public. Taker her home after the date. Tell her you like her when you kiss her good night. Tell her you will call her & do so. 1
LostOnes05 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 I agree. Ask her out on a proper date. Apologize for making her feel uncomfortable (even though it takes two to tango). Let her know that you really like her and would like to develop a long-term relationship with her (not just a hook up). Do something fun with her that doesn't involve sex. Let her make any subsequent sexual moves first. I don't think it's unsalvageable, you just have to be upfront and sincere. Best of luck! 1
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