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Posted

I have been seeing by b/f for a year and a half now. Recently he got a restaurant and now he is very busy. He goes to work at around 10 in the morning and comes back at 11 or so. After that he sits with his Dad and chats and normally calls me around 11:45. He is always tired then and falls asleep in 2-3 mins. We dont realy get to tallk in the morning, because he wakes up and leaves for work.

 

He can not come see me since he has to work 7 days a week. I go to see him at the weekend sometimes. I had been going quite a lot but I feel like it is a waste because the whole day he is working and I dont know the city so I just have to stay at home. At night he is tired and we dont get talk or do anything together.

 

I feel like we are losing the spark. I don't know if it is worth making the effort to continue. He says he loves me a lot and I feel it but sometimes he does things that hurt me. I was also a little upset cause he did nothign special for valentines day even though i went up to see him

 

Do you think I am wasting my time?

Posted

I think the only way that you will truly find out is to ask your bf to find some time to sit and talk about your relationship.

Posted

Fully agree with Sweetness. That's really cool & sweet.

Posted

Hi hun,

 

A year and a half is time enough to sit down and evaluate where your relationship is going. Sometimes things happen in relationships where it really tests the waters for the relationship "strength". What you need to do is sit with him work out some compromises and maybe even some sacrifices in order to make it work if you really want to. If you find that doesn't work, then you need to ask yourself what you are getting out of all of this and if it's really worth your time and effort. Not saying that your bf isn't willing to put any effort in, but he's in a rock in a hard place. He needs this job to make his livelihood and to possibly create stability for the two of you if this were ever to form into something even further down the road, and possibly lead to marriage.

 

I hope it all works out in your favor.

 

P.S - Did you ever consider moving in together? Would that work? Are you two comfortable enough to see yourselves living together?

  • Author
Posted

thanks for the advice everyone.

 

i have told him we need to talk and we keep putting it off til i am up there (

we live in cities 3 hrs away) and then it just doesnt happen

 

 

as for moving in, its not an option right now becaus ehe lives with his parents and i am in school

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted

It's very hard to run a restaurant at the beginning of it's opening. No matter how much he loves you, he must be there long hours. You need to accept it and be patient if you truly love him. I don't see any other issues here except that he is very busy. So the decision is simply yours, can you be with a guy who works all day or do you want someone with a 9 am-5 pm kinda job?

The restaurant will take most of his time in the first few years then it will get its routine and he won't be needed there so much. But still he may come home late sometimes. You can talk to him about it and find a temporary solution, but obviously the restaurant is a permanent obstacle standing in between you.

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