phineas Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Or some people (like me) simply don't want to have sex until we're in a relationship for a couple of months. Sex for people like me isn't just the physical feeling. The emotional connection and intimacy is what makes it amazing and that won't happen for me in 3 dates lol. What ever floats your boat. but you are in the minority so you will have a more difficult time getting a guy to stick around. Even relationship oriented guys (especially younger ones) are not going to wait around for months when past GFs had sex with them quicker. as long as you understand that & don't turn bitter & claim "every man just wants sex" you'll be fine.
phineas Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Well … then don't you feel that she is wise to not be having sex with you? From her point of view, unless she was just out for casual sex, I think she would be wanting to have sex with a guy who actually liked her! Maybe she senses that you are not really "in." Plus you said you take a while to open up. Well, possibly she just wants to get to know you better. Sounds like she is doing right by herself. I'm a bit confused. I think it's better that I wait it out to get to know her better anyway because I'm still not over the moon for her. If that were the case, then why does this woman continue to see him & make out with him? what would be the point if she thinks he just wants sex?
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 4 weeks is nothing to me. 4 months is nothing. Everybody is different though. 3
GoreSP Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 I think every guy should have a tshirt that has in print the exact timing to have sex with him that wouldn't be too early so he would think I'm easy but not too late so he would start being all entitled about it. And they should wear it on the first date. Sheesh. 3
smackie9 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 If that were the case, then why does this woman continue to see him & make out with him? what would be the point if she thinks he just wants sex? She is showing her interest on an intimate level without flopping on her back. It's all about the dance of romance, the build up, the sexual tension that makes the eventual sex more intense and luscious. Most like the chase, while getting to know one another and bond emotionally. Obviously you have never experienced this, or you would understand. The OP is open to learning and he will reap the rewards of waiting.
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 I think every guy should have a tshirt that has in print the exact timing to have sex with him that wouldn't be too early so he would think I'm easy but not too late so he would start being all entitled about it. And they should wear it on the first date. Sheesh. Mine would just say "forever".
GoreSP Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Mine would just say "forever". You missed my point... 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 You missed my point... No I got it. I was just saying I'd wait a long time, as long as necessary. Even forever. Especially if I liked the girl. 1
Author Rexxy Posted July 13, 2014 Author Posted July 13, 2014 If that were the case, then why does this woman continue to see him & make out with him? what would be the point if she thinks he just wants sex? She is showing her interest on an intimate level without flopping on her back. It's all about the dance of romance, the build up, the sexual tension that makes the eventual sex more intense and luscious. Most like the chase, while getting to know one another and bond emotionally. Obviously you have never experienced this, or you would understand. The OP is open to learning and he will reap the rewards of waiting. The build up is something I'm not use too, I can feel the sexual tension between us both. When we make out we'll hold each others hands, touch each others legs, and hold each others face. Each time we make out it gets more and more sexual (intense). I think I'm getting all impatient because I'm actually feeling a connection to this girl which I'm not use too. I'm actually getting to know this girl, and she's beginning to understand me. I can see how waiting will have a very positive effect on the outcome of the actual relationship. I'm starting to see the bigger picture of what a relationship really is. Thanks everyone for the help so far. 1
phineas Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 (edited) If that were the case, then why does this woman continue to see him & make out with him? what would be the point if she thinks he just wants sex? She is showing her interest on an intimate level without flopping on her back. It's all about the dance of romance, the build up, the sexual tension that makes the eventual sex more intense and luscious. Most like the chase, while getting to know one another and bond emotionally. Obviously you have never experienced this, or you would understand. The OP is open to learning and he will reap the rewards of waiting. That wasn't my question. I asked: If you think she senses he just wants sex then why would she hang around? by the way op you are now focusing on the sex more than the woman herself because she is not having it. sorry, but that isn't healthy no matter what anyone else says. Edited July 13, 2014 by phineas
smackie9 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 She is or isn't sensing all he wants sex we will never know BUT she does want to make sure his intentions are true. People can change their minds on their intensions by actually getting to know someone. Just because a woman isn't ready to shell out after the 3rd date doesn't make it unhealthy. It's unhealthy if one or both parties are unsatisfied and don't stop seeing each other. 2
Glinda.Good Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 If that were the case, then why does this woman continue to see him & make out with him? what would be the point if she thinks he just wants sex? I did not suggest that she thinks he "just wants sex;" what I did suggest was that she is probably someone who wants to see where things appear to be leading, and maybe to get to know a person well, before getting all naked and slimy with them. 1
GoreSP Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 No I got it. I was just saying I'd wait a long time, as long as necessary. Even forever. Especially if I liked the girl. You would still get to a point where you would wonder is she is interested at all...
Glinda.Good Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Even relationship oriented guys (especially younger ones) are not going to wait around for months when past GFs had sex with them quicker. Are you extremely young? Because that is absolutely not true. Maybe SOME guys. Probably late teens or young 20's. Once a person is mature, they are more relaxed. I mean, if you really like someone and enjoy their company, why does sex have to happen within a tiny constrained time period? If two people actually get together, they have untold years to have sex with each other. as long as you understand that & don't turn bitter & claim "every man just wants sex" you'll be fine. Where did that come from? If a guy dumps a girl simply because she does not feel like having sex after THREE DATES, then it sounds to me that he pretty much WAS after just sex. I doubt she'd be bitter, though; probably more like "whew, dodged that bullet!" I mean, if she were looking for something deeper. If she just wants to have casual sex yet insists on more than 3 dates to get around to it, I see where you're coming from. 1
kaylan Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Lol, I always chuckle at these sex timelines. Ive never really had that problem with promiscuous or conservative women. Things just happen naturally. However tbh, only one girl I had to wait more than a month for sex. And usually a girl and I hang out enough where things escalate to physical stuff within the first few weeks. Just be patient OP. And sometimes you just gotta know how to get a girl riled up and she'll likely jump you. For as much as the women here are objecting, Im sure these gals would be already be having sex with a guy they had great chemistry with by week 3, if they had enough dates within that time.
kaylan Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 You sound desperate & sexually frustrated op. This is why you keep multiple options when dating so you don't go around with blue-balls. that said, if a woman doesn't have sex with me after 3 dates it has never happened with her because they weren't interested & were sleeping with someone else before I knew it. Do what you want OP but i wouldn't consider myself to have automatic plans every weekend with a woman who wasn't sleeping with me. you are treating her like you are in a relationship when you are not in one. This too. Always keep options. Until you and a girl have an understanding of exclusivity, you should be seeing other people. Because tbh, most attractive women are entertaining options in this day and age.
smackie9 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Lol, I always chuckle at these sex timelines. Ive never really had that problem with promiscuous or conservative women. Things just happen naturally. However tbh, only one girl I had to wait more than a month for sex. And usually a girl and I hang out enough where things escalate to physical stuff within the first few weeks. Just be patient OP. And sometimes you just gotta know how to get a girl riled up and she'll likely jump you. For as much as the women here are objecting, Im sure these gals would be already be having sex with a guy they had great chemistry with by week 3, if they had enough dates within that time. I'm going by dates not by weeks. Of course I have slept with someone within 3 weeks, but we have been spending a lot of time with each other within those 3 weeks. I'm basing my advice on the fact they have only gone out 3 times.....
kaylan Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 I'm going by dates not by weeks. Of course I have slept with someone within 3 weeks, but we have been spending a lot of time with each other within those 3 weeks. I'm basing my advice on the fact they have only gone out 3 times..... Duly noted. By 3 dates I assume most people are making out...and by 5 dates I assume most people are hooking up but maybe not having sex just yet. After that junction I figure sex soon follows for most people. I dont get much into a rush to have sex myself, because tbh, women seem keen on at least foreplay within the first month. It is what it is though. I dont have hard and fast rules in my mind. I just go with the flow. Though lately Im slowing down compared to my pace in the past. 1
smackie9 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 This too. Always keep options. Until you and a girl have an understanding of exclusivity, you should be seeing other people. Because tbh, most attractive women are entertaining options in this day and age. Keeping options open is based on opinion. If the OP feels she is very special, then she is worth pursuing aggressively. But 3 dates in one month....I wouldn't bother, but I'm just that way. I'm an aggressive person and if I don't see results quickly, I move on fast. Yes I agree since this is going too slow I would keep my options open if it's just a flirtation.
fortyninethousand322 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 You would still get to a point where you would wonder is she is interested at all... I'm always at that point.
FitnessRN Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Those who have been following me for the past few weeks would know I've been dating this girl for around a a month, coming up to the 4th week. I'm new to the dating scene and I'm not sure whats going on. I like to come onto these forums and vent myself from getting angry. I took this girl out last night to the movies and we had a good time, making out at the end of the date with her telling me "somethings telling her I'm worth the wait" when I let her know it can take a little while for me to open up. The next night we were both heading into the city and messaged each other saying we'll meet up at some stage during the night. Fast forward a bit later into the night and she texts me saying "my brother just made me take a hit of a bong...now im stoned....I really wanted to meet up, have a good night though xxx" This was the last thing I would of expected coming from her, anyway I brushed it off and said "if you feel any better come out to see me because I want to see you" She said "I really want to see you too, I'll try my best xxx" An hour later she messages me saying shes at a bar and I should come to it. I made my way to the bar and met up with her, we talked for a bit (really hard to talk in a club) and made out for a really good amount of time. After that she was going to a friends house (female) to stay the night who lived only 5 mins away and she knew it would take me at least 2 hours to get home at that time of night. She said that I couldn't come back with her because their was no room, I was pretty pissed of on the inside but didn't show it. But also her brother and cousin were staying there as well. We've been going out for nearly a month and haven't had sex yet and to be honest I'm really starting to lose my patience, I'm not use to dating but waiting 4 weeks to sleep with this girl is killing me. What do you think? (1) She stood you up..SHE WOULD BE OUT WITH ME..number deleted and never texted again. If she really wanted to see you, she wouldn't of done that... (2) I've dated a girl for 4 months and we didn't have sex once..she was in Speech Language Pathology school and I would never want to risk somebody get knocked up while they are in school..that would ruin her dreams.
Author Rexxy Posted July 14, 2014 Author Posted July 14, 2014 (1) She stood you up..SHE WOULD BE OUT WITH ME..number deleted and never texted again. If she really wanted to see you, she wouldn't of done that... (2) I've dated a girl for 4 months and we didn't have sex once..she was in Speech Language Pathology school and I would never want to risk somebody get knocked up while they are in school..that would ruin her dreams. Well she stood me up initially but then we met up a few hours later that night. So in the end she did want to see me. And it wasn't actually a set up date for that night, we both happen to be in the area at the same time hanging out with our different group of friends and decided to meet up. Not sure if that changes the scenerio
phineas Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 (1) She stood you up..SHE WOULD BE OUT WITH ME..number deleted and never texted again. If she really wanted to see you, she wouldn't of done that... (2) I've dated a girl for 4 months and we didn't have sex once..she was in Speech Language Pathology school and I would never want to risk somebody get knocked up while they are in school..that would ruin her dreams. Falcon punch will take care of #2. ;-)
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