Author Axel01 Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 Yeah its hard, I want her to show interest first, after all she broke up so if she wants contact she should start it right? However I do feel like you are right. If you start talking and stop your conversation at its peak she might get interested. I still don't really know what to do, since I want her back I don't mind doing some of the dirty work. But I have some pride you know, I don't want to look pathetic
Griesfootball Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Guys are supposed to be strong minded so lay low on any social media things even though it's hard. Don't post anything negative about feelings or stuff like that. Let it all play out. Just really try and give it time at first. Also reflect on the relationship. The possibility of dating her may be there but it will never be the exact same so what I'm saying is try to work on some things on your end, overall be happy with you because you need to be before you can date anyone.
Author Axel01 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 So I contacted my ex yesterday and everything went well. I asked her if she wanted to have a drink with me later this week. She didn't think it was a good idea, I asked her why? After all it was just getting a drink and nothing more. She was scared that it would be awkward, even though the last time we met we had a really good time. She had also told me that she made out with someone else but that she shouldn't have done that and that she regrets it. I didn't really care since I made out with an other girl too. She then asked me if I have had sex with other girls, I basically told her that that was not something I wanted to discuss with her. After that the conversation got ugly and we both said things we didn't mean. She ended up blocking me and I eventually texted her and things still got to an not so ugly end. I know it's over, since she'd rather never meet me again then meet up with me for a drink, I guess I'm that important to her. I know myself well enough to think two weeks of NC might change a thing and that I'll contact her again. I need help not to contact her, how do you guys do it?
JimmyWeezy Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 It's just.... Hard. And sad. And heartbreaking. I was there for him every day and now I have to act as if I was dead to him. NC is the saddest thing EVER, but since he broke up with me and the last text was mine, I don't see the point in breaking NC. Of course I miss, of course I would like to know he misses me even a little and feels bad even a little, but chances are he may just not. So, it is in my interest to avoid any knowledge about his newly single life. I bet he hasn't forgotten me just like your ex gf hasn't forgotten you, but all we can do is stick to their decision and disappear. It's not what we want but there's also nothing else that we can get.
Author Axel01 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) Jup, for some reason she can't believe I've changed. I want to show her I've changed but she doesn't let me. She says she doesn't want to get my hopes up. And I know that if we don't meet there never is going to change anything. I honestly think I can't do better then my ex. She told me she missed me but not enough to want everything we've had back. I don't know if time will want everything back but I don't think so Edited July 20, 2014 by Axel01
Author Axel01 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) Yesterday she told me she kissed another guy, I didn't mind it because I've also kissed another girl (she knows). She then started asking me if I've had sex with other girls. I told her that was not something I didn't wanted to share with her since it was non of her business (I haven't had sex with other girls) and from that point the conversation went a little hostile. NC is so hard for me, I need to know if I have a chance or if it's just game over for me. Will she miss me more after a month of NC? Could the situation have changed at that time? Edited July 20, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Griesfootball Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 You need a lot more than two weeks on no contact it's hard to change in just 14 days and ask yourself are you changing to make yourself happier or because you think it will give you a better shot to get her back. Aim for the first, And also you can't just sit around and pass time or it will slowly go by, think about your future and work on that stuff, since my ex broke up with me 3 months ago I've been ambitious in being frugal with my money and saving for the future.
Author Axel01 Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 I think I'm going to the gym to look better in general, because even if I won't get her back a better looking body is going to help me with getting other girls to find me attractive. You are right I should just not contact her for a few months. There is not going to be space for her to miss me if I keep contacting her.
Simon Phoenix Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Yesterday she told me she kissed another guy, I didn't mind it because I've also kissed another girl (she knows). She then started asking me if I've had sex with other girls. I told her that was not something I didn't wanted to share with her since it was non of her business (I haven't had sex with other girls) and from that point the conversation went a little hostile. NC is so hard for me, I need to know if I have a chance or if it's just game over for me. Will she miss me more after a month of NC? Could the situation have changed at that time? You aren't in No Contact if you are talking to her. And no, No Contact isn't there to make someone miss you. It's for you to move forward and get yourself back. Stop talking to her and actually give No Contact a fair shot. Go for a month, then go for another month, then go for another month after that. If you actually do it instead of cutting corners you'll get where you need to go. It will be hard, but most things in life worth doing are.
Jason808 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 It's scary how similiar our break up is at this moment, me and my ex also kissed an other person and she asked me wether I had sex too. I don't know if it's her being jealous or just curious.
Author Axel01 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 (edited) So basically me and my ex had a fight a few days ago, she blocked me on her phone and has still blocked me since then, her exact words were: "If you don't tell me you are sorry right now I DON'T EVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN". I basically told her that I thought she was playing a game with me, she wanted to be friends but she didn't want to meet up. She never gave me the chance to show that I've changed and I told her I don't think she ever really loved me because else she would've tried to work things out. We were dating for about a year and a half and I never had the idea that anything was wrong, I do admit I wasn't really the talker about feelings and stuff but that is something we could've worked on. I don't know if I really lost her at this point or if she might turn around in a few weeks but I need a reality check. I want to contact her because I feel like it's the only way I can get her back, I know it didn't work before but I always get the fking idea it's going to work this time, because she loved me once so she can love me again? I NEED A REALITY CHECK! Edited July 22, 2014 by Axel01
ThorntonMelon Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 She blocked you. Probably a good sign you shouldn't contact her again, right?
Author Axel01 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Posted July 22, 2014 Yes it is, but my feelings are like: "Hey why not try again in a few days, maybe **** changed and she feels different". Damn you feelings!
SoThatHappened Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Hold your right hand out about 2 feet... Now, as hard as you can, slap yourself... Do that until you're thinking more about the physical pain than your feelings. DO NOT contact her. The best way you can get her back, if it's even remotely possible, is to become a ghost. The best thing about this is that you'll live life, meet new people, make new experiences, and possibly make yourself a better person. Leave her alone. Do you. It's not easy, but it's better than constant rejection and heart break. Move on man. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted July 22, 2014 Posted July 22, 2014 Yes it is, but my feelings are like: "Hey why not try again in a few days, maybe **** changed and she feels different". Damn you feelings! Unfortunately, hearts have s--t for brains. Honestly, if you keep contacting her she'll get more annoyed, to the point where she's filing restraining orders, or threatening to. Don't be a lunatic. Honestly, if you want to show that you've changed, do it by respecting her wishes and actually LISTENING. Don't be the creepy ex that can't take a hint. 1
Author Axel01 Posted July 23, 2014 Author Posted July 23, 2014 Thanks for helping me! This was the reality check I desperately needed.
BroknHrt Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 I know it's only a matter of time before you try to contact her again. This will end up bad for you in the long run. Things will get worse and worse and you will push her away. That's what happened to me. You have to do no contact. It's your only choice.
Author Axel01 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Posted July 27, 2014 So it's pretty weird I guess, but I don't think I can get over my ex without finding someone else. I've had the same problem with my first crush, I only completely forgot about her when I found my (now ex) girlfriend and I'm afraid the same might happen now, it says alot that I think there are better girls out there then my ex and I think about this alot too (even though I still want her back). If this is true and I can only get over her by finding someone better isn't that unfair against the other person? And even if I manage to find someone better, if my ex finds someone new before me I know I'd freak out at this moment, just because we shared so many memories. I'd be honest, my ex is beautiful (inside and outside) and I really did think we were forever, talked about moving out, how we'd name our kids if we eventually got them and even how our wedding would look like. I'm not unrealistic at this point, she has blocked me from whatsapp for already a week (had a fight and I made up after the fight through text but still she decided to keep me blocked) so I know we will probably not get back together. But I'm being obsessed with finding someone better, and I want to find someone who is better before her. I know love isn't a competition but I can't help it, I want to be happier with someone else. Anyone else experienced thoughts like this? I think I'm being obsessed with being in a relationship?
somedude81 Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 I was only with my ex for six months, it's been almost eight months she dumped me and I'm still completely stuck on her. So from my experiences, time is not enough on it's own to get over somebody. As for better girls, do you think that if you find a girl who isn't as good as your ex, will you still want your ex?
No Limit Posted July 27, 2014 Posted July 27, 2014 Relationships aren't a competition. If you find someone who actually cares for you, he or she will always beat your former partner.
Author Axel01 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Posted July 29, 2014 I have been unblocked by my ex a few days ago, I noticed because she was still on my contact list and I could see her picture and her status changing. I don't know why she unblocked me because she didn't talk to me or anything. I'm not sure if it's a step towards a possible reconcilation or a step towards closure. I need to know what other people experienced when they had something similiar. I don't know whether I should start talking, or if I should wait for her to start talking.
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Ive been unblocked for a week and no contact so what would you tell me... and theres your answer ;-) I would probably say theres a possibility this has been done to get your attention but you should hold out x
symphonyofwolves Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Maybe she's in a good enough place where it won't hurt her to see what you've been up to, if you've been talking or seeing anyone new. Or Maybe she has started seeing someone else and her confidence and self-esteem is high again or if she has, maybe she wants you to see that she has moved on in the hopes it will make you jealous. The possibilities are endless. I don't know what kind of person she is, or if she plays games. Personally, I think anyone who takes the time to block someone is still attached, and that's why they don't just delete you. She probably just misses you most likely and was thinking about you. I wouldn't take this as a sign that she wants to talk though. If you want to talk to her, you should message her and ask her for yourself. Just please don't publicly post that she has done this!
Simon Phoenix Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Means nothing. And if you are overanalyzing something that innocuous, it means you should probably block her, because an action like that is not worth such analysis. It's normal for someone in your position to analyze it, but it doesn't mean it's healthy or encouraged. If she wants to communicate with you about reconciliation, she'll do something a hell of a lot more obvious than unblock you on social media. 1
Tbisb74 Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Unblocked? Good. Now block her. Delete every possible avenue you have for contact. (I got that from the No Contact Guide. Have you read it? It's pretty good...) 1
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