SycamoreCircle Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 Please, sound off: I met this woman last night through OK Cupid. 10 minutes after we were to meet I get a text asking me "hey, what time were we meeting tonight?" I'll spare you the details but there were numerous confusing texts sent. I waited for her an additional 45 minutes. She gave me excuses which I later discovered, through her own admission, were lies. "I have a tendency to sabotage things", she later conceded. I was stern but continued on with her. The date went extremely well, however. We went to several spots. She was very physically into me. The hooking was intense. This woman is sexy as all f***. She ended up paying for most of the date because, as she put it, she felt sorry for what she did. She told me, "I give what I get. If you contact me again, we can go out but I won't reach out or chase of my own accord." From what I can tell she's been seriously burned and all vulnerability is squashed and hidden behind a facade. I don't want to be anyone's savior. I've just been burned myself but I must admit the push/pull energy I feel with her is a huge turn on. There's other red flags---she lives with her mother. That sounds bad but it is NYC and rents are insane so I can understand that temptation. Her last break up sounds like a total train wreck. She just up and decided she didn't want the relationship. Left the guy with his thumb up his butt. Sounds like my ex. I think I know what people are going to advise: if you proceed realize this probably isn't relationship material and keep your feelings in check. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 Because this sounded like it started on the wrong foot with her being late, I'd try for the 2nd date. She otherwise seemed straight forward. She was appropriately contrite, paying because she caused the problems. She hasn't left you guessing about where you stood. I'd hope this was a bit of an aberration but it might not be since she admitted that she self sabotages.
LostOnes05 Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 I'd leave her be man. She already told you that she sabotages relationships and just up and left the last guy. What do you think she will do to you when she gets bored or finds someone she thinks is more attractive? Have fun but understand that if you develop feelings for her, you might be tightening your noose while she prepares to kick the chair. Be careful!
Priv Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 Nah man. She sounds fun in a drama kind of way, but yea most likely not LTR material in her current state. This stroke me as odd. She told me, "I give what I get. If you contact me again, we can go out but I won't reach out or chase of my own accord." Had that line more or less said to me on a few occasions. I could never make sense out of it.
TheGuard13 Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 It means she wants to be chased. Or at least for you to make the moves.
Author SycamoreCircle Posted July 12, 2014 Author Posted July 12, 2014 Now she's texting me. I'm playing a cool distance. She's telling me that she wants to prove to me she's trustworthy. Eerie sci-fi music plays in the background.
sugarlove Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 Mmmm.. talk about upfront! So she's open with her feelings, too open actually. Where's the mystery? I don't think she's ready to date.
ktya Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 Shes afraid of falling in love because of her past relationships. Be assertive and direct. Bang her. Once she gets a bit squirrely, pull away and give her some space. Then be assertive and direct again, bang her. Lather, rinse, repeat. Dont expect a relationship. Treat her like its one but for you only emotionally connect like FBs or youll get burned.
Priv Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 It means she wants to be chased. Or at least for you to make the moves. Haha, well yea. I got that part . More like, the deeper meaning of it
writergal Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 Now she's texting me. I'm playing a cool distance. She's telling me that she wants to prove to me she's trustworthy. Eerie sci-fi music plays in the background. I'd replace that Eerie sci-fi music soundtrack with the theme music from the movie Psycho. Yikes! Are you sure you want to proceed forward with this woman? Take a nice community education class, go travel, take up a hobby. Do anything but date this woman. She sounds like a lot of drama. Or...date her with your Eyes Wide Shut.
d0nnivain Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 The fact that she is now chasing you -- doing the opposite of what she said -- makes her look unstable, like she doesn't know herself. Proceed with caution.
Imajerk17 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 And we guys complain about *women* going for jerks! I don't mean to sound snarky OP. But the signs are already there that this probably isn't going to end well for you.
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