geebelle Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 Overwhelmed by this feeling of loneliness. I don't know if it's normal, i don't know if it means I'm not healing or coping well. I feel like I'll be stuck feeling this way forever. I know I won't but I mean it feels like every second that goes by is a hour. Yeah I have friends and family but I guess the fact that the person I was so used to left I feel lonely. I hope this passes it really sucks. Any tips on how any of you coped with this stage? Or how you made it passed it? 1
StalwartMind Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 It's completely normal to feel overwhelmed. I don't know how long you've "felt stuck forever", but everyone deal with their emotions differently. The reason you feel lonely is because there now is a void where there once was something else. You used to spend your time in a certain way with someone and while that person is now gone, it's your task to slowly fill out that void with a new foundation to support your daily day life. Don't try to rush things or desperately make things happen, take your time and bit by bit, add things to your life again that you feel increases it's meaning. Even with the most amazing friends and family, you can at times feel like you make no progress, but with time you'll see that you are creating a new life for yourself once again. There was a life before this person, during and there is one (now) after too. What did you use to do/enjoy before you met this person? Are you still interested in said things? If you still have an appetite to want to experience and enjoy things, such as your hobbies, they are an excellent starting point. Just make sure you don't get caught in thoughts that lead to nothing, like thinking about what could of been, etc. Don't be afraid or ashamed to admit things to yourself, like you aren't feeling very good at moment, but at the same time, also make it a goal/promise to yourself, that you want to feel better. If you set yourself some goals, try to work towards them, and use people's help as much as you can and feel a need to. 2
sugarlove Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 It's normal to feel lonely but I feel it's sometimes better to feel lonely when you're alone than to feel lonely when you are with someone who is wrong for you. THere is a big difference to both and it's helpful to spend some time with yourself and work on loving yourself, finding things to fulfil your time, doing things which you've neglected while you are in a relationship. Loneliness also stems from missing someone, when you can't have that person, you feel his/her absence. It's also normal to feel lonely or out of sorts when you are amongst friends and getting back into the social circle is something to get used to. There is nothing wrong with you and it's something that everyone who's been broken up has felt and deal with differently. Eventually the loneliness will leave once the cloud over your head clears. It takes some time, but you'll eventually get there. 1
Author geebelle Posted July 12, 2014 Author Posted July 12, 2014 It's normal to feel lonely but I feel it's sometimes better to feel lonely when you're alone than to feel lonely when you are with someone who is wrong for you. THere is a big difference to both and it's helpful to spend some time with yourself and work on loving yourself, finding things to fulfil your time, doing things which you've neglected while you are in a relationship. Loneliness also stems from missing someone, when you can't have that person, you feel his/her absence. It's also normal to feel lonely or out of sorts when you are amongst friends and getting back into the social circle is something to get used to. There is nothing wrong with you and it's something that everyone who's been broken up has felt and deal with differently. Eventually the loneliness will leave once the cloud over your head clears. It takes some time, but you'll eventually get there. You're so right. I'm just adjusting to change right now I guess that's why I feel like this. I was used to him being them. But to be honest 95% of that relationship I felt lonely anyway. And like you said it's better to be lonely ALONE then actually being lonely with someone. 1
Author geebelle Posted July 12, 2014 Author Posted July 12, 2014 I just starting going to the gym today and I'm working towards a goal for my body that's something to look forward to. I'm also trying to find some more hobbies to keep myself busy.
VanessaVanessa Posted July 12, 2014 Posted July 12, 2014 I've found myself buying a lot of random things recently. Clothes, accessories, gadgets etc. I've been buying these random things (although some things are useful) to somehow replace time or something. It's been a while now since the break up for me though - 9 months - and I'm only doing this lately (the past 3 weeks or so). I don't really like spending that money and it feels crappy but I like the feeling of having something new I own, I suppose. I don't talk to anyone about how I've felt about the whole thing though. I basically don't have close friends and I don't confide in my family in that way from previous experiences. I too am supposed to be joining a gym soon, so maybe that will be more beneficial. I don't know if or how long I will stick to that though. 1
love1336x Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 You have to simply deal with it. Love being in your own skin. I been feeling like that as well. The emptiness would consume me. You need to get your mind off of being lonely. I have a new f buddy and I still felt alone. You have to change the way you think. I don't know why you broke up but for me... I feel at peace. No more arguing, lying, cheating. No more toxin problems that causes stress which in turn wear and tear on the body and even soul. Simply be happy! I know when I think like that my mood shifts so well. I rather be alone than be unhappy relationship. 1
Jay77098 Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 I have a couple of comments to this: First, what are you feeling is absolutely normal, and you are not alone in feeling like that. I am 4 months post-BU and I still feel the loss of the companionship and having someone to eat dinner with, talk to, sit on the couch and watch TV with, etc. etc. It is a really, really tough thing to give up all that "togetherness". But just be good to yourself and do some good things for your mind and your body. In time, you WILL start to feel better about this. Second comment is this old saying: It is better to be alone than to be with someone who makes you wish you were. Hang in there. Better times are ahead. 1
True Gent Posted July 13, 2014 Posted July 13, 2014 Your feelings are totally normal so don't dwell too much on it. You're not alone in this we've all been there, or we are still going through it. My best advice to you is pursue your hobbies or anything you're passionate about. Spend time with family and friends and eventually it won't be such a chore to fill the void. Lately I've been so busy I haven't had time to feel lonely, I'm at 9 months now. It's getting so much easier. Don't rush trying to fix yourself or find someone new. Allow yourself to feel it and grow with it.
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