Author pappa k Posted July 17, 2014 Author Posted July 17, 2014 It's pretty bad but I feel like the worst is over and I'm ready to move on with my life. Start making new memories with out her in them
irishsimon Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 Pretty much the same here. Last night she answered the door in her underwear. But I fought the urge to look at her. She has been a super bitch lately. I just don't know how to get myself back on track . This woman is so ego driven.. She is clearly trying to get a rise out of you. You won't feel any better if you let her do that to you. Read my last post on this thread again. You must take this attitude with your ex if you want to move forward. I have just left my son back to my ex. He asked for her bf 3 times at the door when I was putting him into her arms. My ex looked at me but I didn't look back..no reaction on my part. I just concentrated on my son and said my goodbyes. It's not easy but I'd rather rise above it and crush her ego than react and lose my dignity. Men will come and go in my sons life but I will always be there. Do not get into another relationship. Work on yourself. Explore why you are still hung up on someone who has treated you this way. Read stuff by Melanie Tonia Evans, the Rawness blog, Mark Manson blog, Robert Glover. Try to focus on you. This will eventually take away the focus on her and you will feel better. If you don't do the work all this will be carried into your next relationship and it will be a repeat performance. Can I quote another site here? On enotalone there was a poster called Real Deal. Read his posts. They are perfect for you at this time. Do you think your ex is in a rebound? Then read posts by Zorba. Once you settle read some later threads by Endy. Read and learn about yourself and you will gain so much power over yourself that what your ex does will be neither here nor there. And she will hate that lol. 1
Author pappa k Posted July 19, 2014 Author Posted July 19, 2014 The reason I think I'm hung up on her is because the kid and her being my longest relationship. I just want to move on with life and be happy
scobro Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I'm working on that but I really don't want to be single This says it all.....you are missing the attachment to being with someone not necessarily your ex as a person.Why don't you want to be single?Thats what you have to figure out.Is it loneliness or lack of sex, now maybe you have some self esteem issues.....only you know but don't hinge your happiness on being with someone, that doesn't define you as a person.Being alone right now is the best thing you can do for your next partner.How would a new woman feel being with you right now? you are hurting and going through this painful experience thinking about your ex....nobody wants that baggage.Now think about yourself a year from now over your ex not hurting and a much better headspace....thats whats attractive to women, not a guy who can't be single 1
Author pappa k Posted July 20, 2014 Author Posted July 20, 2014 The loneliness is a big a deal .And lack of sex is a bummer. I just hate being alone always have. I miss having someone to hold and kiss . Your right though I got to much stuff going on to be with anyone right now. 1
Missy0724 Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Yes, Pappa K. Please don't do this - run to another woman to try to stuff the pain or distract yourself. That will just be a rebound. I know - this just happened to me. I was with a man who thought he was healthy and OK, just because he "doing" all the work: journaling, therapy, yoga, etc. But for 10 months of us being exclusive, he still addicted to his ex wife. Thinking of her, dreaming of her, talking about her once a week in therapy. So angry at her, resentful because she divorced him. After HE cheated on her! Figure that... Codependent, addictive, very dysfunctional relationship. Not healthy love with her, or with me. Him still hung up on her is what ended our relationship a month ago. Everything else in our relationship so great. So sad, so frustrating. Yes, I chose to be with him. Because he had told me when we met, he was ready. He ok to be in an exclusive, serious relationship. Two months into it, I had already begun to fall for him, and I start seeing red flags. These issues with ex began to creep up. You can only hide it for so long. It will resurface once the honeymoon stage of your new relationship begins to fade. And this new person you are with will be the one to suffer. As you will as well, because yes, you can love again. It is not fair to anyone! It sucks - believe me. Please don't do that to anyone! Please be alone, feel and work thru the pain. Give it time. And main thing - keep as much separation between the two of you, as you can. Set new boundaries. Enforce them. Be strong. It is best for you, and her. For both of you to move on... And only fair the next person to enter your life. Who can possibly offer you something so great. But you can't receive that, or give it completely, freely, if you still hung up on an ex that way.
Author pappa k Posted July 21, 2014 Author Posted July 21, 2014 I'm trying to work through the pain and live up being single again. But I find myself being bored being single again, all I've been doing is drinking a lot but I'm bored of it . My drinking was what split us up. But it's all I know how to do when I get upset.
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