JackieOver Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 (edited) Hi; my partner of 9 years dumped me one month ago today saying "she couldn't do this anymore, is already seeing someone else and has moved on". 10 minutes later she defriended me from her FB page. The next two weeks after she dumped me, she texts me back and forth telling me she needs time to think things over with us but can't give me a specific time frame of how long she needs and if she gets back together with me we need to start from scratch (I never have asked her to come back BTW). That's was the last conversation we had. On Wednesday I find a picture on my FB page of her and her brothers and a friend having a 4th of July party at her house. The theme of the party is "couples". Her brothers are with their girlfriends, their friend is with his girlfriend and a guy I don't know (I know most of her friends), is hanging all over her literally. She has a faint smile on her face as she stares intentionally in the camera. After 9 years being with her I can tell her smile is more fake than real. I sent her an email (in hindsight I realized that was a mistake) telling her I came across the picture of her and her new male friend, that she looks happy and she deserves to be and that I wish her the very best. I tell her I can now let go of her completely and move on with my own life. Less than 30 minutes later she response telling me she's sorry she wasn't able to text me these past days because she's been extremely busy at work and has been preparing for her son's BD party. She proceeds saying that she doesn't know the picture appeared on my FB page because she defriended me. Then she insinuates that maybe her brothers were tagged in the picture and that's how it ended up on my page. Then she says: "But yes I am happy. We are just starting though and are taking it one day at a time!". She ends the email telling me she wishes me well and hopes I find peace inside. She says she is also hoping that I stay with ex wife despite my divorce became final recently. Is this some "trick" email on her part to get me to respond and tell her what I am doing or plan on doing with my life? (I haven't responded to her email and have defriended her brothers and their friends on my FB). Is she 'hoping' I stay with my ex-wife so she knows she can 'get me back' if things don't work out with her new friend? Why is she telling me about her job and party she's planning when I never asked her about either one? Is my ex being sly with me? Edited July 11, 2014 by JackieOver
Moonborn Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 You shouldn't really try to understand why she is doing things. Just block her out of your life and do what you can to move on. She's gone and from what you wrote I would say it is definitely a good thing for you.
Chi townD Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 To be honest. She's not tricking you. She probably didn't realize that just "defriending" someone doesn't block all news feeds. She probably thought it was safe to post that stuff. YOU need to go in there and BLOCK her page. That way, you won't see anything of hers. However, now she knows the truth is out. That's why she didn't fight it. You said "goodbyes" to each other and I suspect you won't hear from her again. Block her. Go NC and start making positive changes in your life. Time to heal and move on.
Author JackieOver Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 Update: I actually shared the email content with a lady friend I have known for a long time. Here is what her response was: "Your ex is full of s..t! Don't you dare talk to her again or even consider taking this B back!". Have to say it made me laugh. 1
Author JackieOver Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 Actually, as far as using FB is concerned, my ex is a virtuoso at it and taught me how to use it so I really doubt she didn't know that if she tagged her bros I wouldn't see the picture. But still, be this as it may. I have since defriended her entire family as well as set my page to private. I truly do not want to know what she does with her life from this point forward. Like Roy Orbinson use to sing: "It's Over!" 2
me85 Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 She sounds very selfish. "Look at me, it's all about me, I'm happy...blah blah blah." So what she wished you well. That was just a polite F U. I know it's hard for you and we always question our ex's behaviour but please try to distract yourself with as many things as possible. You really seriously need to block her from all social media as well. It's just better for your emotional well being. Vent here, let it out, but after what she told you I'd go NC as long as possible. More than likely she is just trying to make you jealous but try not to read into anything she says as good or bad. Just do the normal stuff. Go grocery shopping. Go on a trip or two to get away for a while. Take care of your pet if you have one. If you like cooking, start trying out new recipes. WHATEVER, ANYTHING POSITIVE AND HEALTHY! Breaking the NC rule is bound to happen for all of us, I'm guilty as hell of it, but challenge yourself to see how long you go without contacting her. It was always easy for me to not contact my ex first. My problem was it was impossible for me to not respond to my ex when he contacted me. He never rubbed anything in my face and was really just nice but eventually you just get tired of the meaningless small talk with someone you never actually see and who is technically not a part of your life anymore. That's when you move on. Best wishes & good luck! J 1
Author JackieOver Posted July 12, 2014 Author Posted July 12, 2014 Thanks. I have blocked her from all social media we shared together. I also have not contacted her at all since that email. I know that's only been 2 days ago but counting. I agree it's all about her. When she broke up with me she said: "I need attention all the time!". Then she became quiet for an instant and said: "nine years is a long time, I can't just let go like that." I didn't respond and let her walk out the door. I gathered that shattered her ego, being convinced I was going to plead for her to stay and give me another chance. I never did. Most likely that's why she's behaving the way she is: she wants me back but wants me to come crawling to her instead of the other way around, even though she dumped me.
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