CrystalCastles Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 It seems to me that many people discuss various, IMO, private matters regarding their relationship to their friends. Why is that? Is that something that is accepted in our society or is that because the person sharing has no respect for their SO? How much sharing is too much? Is it ok to mention to your friend when you started having sex with your SO? I was recently talking to two close friends of mine. Both of them disclosed when they started sleeping with their bfs, themselves. I also found a thread a while back where a guy found out that his gf was discussing his penis size to her friends. How on earth do people think this is ok? Or is it, and I'm just out of the loop? I would never talk about that kind of thing to my friends, even my two best friends. My bf is also supremely private, it took him some time before he was open with me, so it feels like a huge invasion of privacy to talk about the intimate details of my relationship with others. Your thoughts? 1
MissBee Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I do think discretion is important in a relationship as well as having a bubble that is for you two only and I am against everything in your relationship being open for discussion and weighing in by other people. I'm not gonna share things he is insecure about or has told me in confidence or things that could embarrass him..absolutely NOT. My good friends asked me if I had slept with my bf yet when we were first dating, I told them the truth that yes we did the deed. I didn't feel like that was an invasion of privacy or disclosing stuff about HIM. However his penis size, specific details etc...no I don't discuss that. I may hint at the fact that we have an enjoyable sex life if we're having girl talk but not sordid details. I'm also fine with him sharing this with his bestfriend(s). I wouldn't feel violated if he admits we have sex and I wouldn't feel violated if he says sex with me is good. However, discussing details about my vagina, what I do to him or with him etc...yea, no. 2
xxmusical Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 My SO and I are pretty private about our sex life so I never offered to talk about it to my close friends and neither will he. We like to keep this aspect of our relationship private. Talking about when we started having sex (general stuff) isn't that big of a deal compared to discussing sizes and more private matters. That's really private, and I know my SO would be quite annoyed if not pissed if he found out I told my friends his size! I would never say things that I know would embarrass him, never. And I trust that he would do the same for me. 2
PogoStick Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Breaking news, this just in!: Girls tell each other EVERYTHING. 2
Miss Awesome Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 It seems to me that many people discuss various, IMO, private matters regarding their relationship to their friends. Why is that? Is that something that is accepted in our society or is that because the person sharing has no respect for their SO? How much sharing is too much? Is it ok to mention to your friend when you started having sex with your SO? I was recently talking to two close friends of mine. Both of them disclosed when they started sleeping with their bfs, themselves. I also found a thread a while back where a guy found out that his gf was discussing his penis size to her friends. How on earth do people think this is ok? Or is it, and I'm just out of the loop? I would never talk about that kind of thing to my friends, even my two best friends. My bf is also supremely private, it took him some time before he was open with me, so it feels like a huge invasion of privacy to talk about the intimate details of my relationship with others. Your thoughts? Well, I think there's a huge difference between just chatting about things and talking with people you trust because you need guidance/advice/support. I know that ideally in a relationship you talk with your partner, but I think sometimes people, for any number of reaons, feel they need to talk with someone outside the situation before they're ready to talk to the partner. I think, in some cases, it is appropriate to talk to someone as long as one, that person is very trusted, and two, you are very careful to leave out unnecessary details. For example, while I think it's inappropriate to chat with people about how often and in what positions you have sex, it might be appropriate to talk with a trusted friend about how to handle being dissatisfied with the frequency of sex and the way it's become routine. 1
Bruce Leigh Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Breaking news, this just in!: Girls tell each other EVERYTHING. Men talk about details AFTER the relationship has ended. Never whilst they are seeing them, at least IME. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Breaking news, this just in!: Girls tell each other EVERYTHING. Not this girl. Never have, never will. 2
irc333 Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 .......................................... It seems to me that many people discuss various, IMO, private matters regarding their relationship to their friends. Why is that? Is that something that is accepted in our society or is that because the person sharing has no respect for their SO? How much sharing is too much? Is it ok to mention to your friend when you started having sex with your SO? I was recently talking to two close friends of mine. Both of them disclosed when they started sleeping with their bfs, themselves. I also found a thread a while back where a guy found out that his gf was discussing his penis size to her friends. How on earth do people think this is ok? Or is it, and I'm just out of the loop? I would never talk about that kind of thing to my friends, even my two best friends. My bf is also supremely private, it took him some time before he was open with me, so it feels like a huge invasion of privacy to talk about the intimate details of my relationship with others. Your thoughts?
todreaminblue Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I dont think its right....and feels uncomfortable to discuss...when i was younger i used to discuss a little...i don't anymore and i never put someone down at any time.....i think some things are meant to be private and the bedroom is one....deb
iiiii Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 For example, while I think it's inappropriate to chat with people about how often and in what positions you have sex, it might be appropriate to talk with a trusted friend about how to handle being dissatisfied with the frequency of sex and the way it's become routine. I agree 100%. I would discuss my sex life occasionally with my very close friends, but I think the boundary is I would not discuss anything that would cause my partner shame or distress if he knew. Sometimes it's good to discuss issues, problems, or hey even nice things, with your close friends. Close friends, by my definition, being people who know me well and want the best for me (and me for them). It can help you get perspective, or brainstorm ways to deal with issues.
Gaeta Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Might be cultural. I know anglophone women don't share details like us French women do. My best female friends is of my culture and we tell everything to each other. We share our relationship's details, our happiness, fears, worries, excitement, sex, etc. My female friends of English heritage will share some things but not in details as we do it in my culture.
MissBee Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Breaking news, this just in!: Girls tell each other EVERYTHING. Women don't though . 2
Targetlock Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 nope feels wrong in my opinion, breaking the trust and confidence of your SO in the relationship
waiting4u Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 A lot of my girlfriends know about my guy and know we've had sex, but I don't share any private details because I don't really feel the need. I would think it would be terribly disrespectful to your partner and to your relationship to share the intimate details - apart from that we really like each other and like to have sex. I also want my friends to like my guy and think he's wonderful (because I think he's wonderful), so I wouldn't tell them anything that wasn't flattering. I have told a few private details to a very close friend (who is also my running partner, so my closest friend in many respects) after our first encounter. But her and I tend to talk about our challenges in life and how to overcome them - and this was something that was bothering me. Yeah, I don't think it's really like "Sex and the City" dinners with girls. I think we will divulge things to our closest friends if we need advice or something, that's it.
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