siennaluca Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Hi guys, I'm fairly young, only 20. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years. Lately, things have been really rough and very difficult, a lot of fighting and trust issues. He seems willing that he wants to repair our relationship and has suggested taking a one week break from each other. This means just physically not seeing each other (as we do not live together). When he said that I immediately became worried that it was just another excuse to go out and do whatever he wanted, but he has assured me that it is to take time away to "relearn as to why you love that person all over again". He also said that he thinks a small 1 week break will calm our nerves and make us realise what we mean to each other, and that he needs to know what it's like to not have me there and rely on. I know I probably have nothing to worry about, as his reasoning is completely logical and shows that he's still willing to work on our relationship, I just wanted some reassurance from someone! Thanks heaps for listening.
babycakees Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Good luck...but with my past experiences, taking "breaks" is just prolonging the inevitable. How can you work out any problems away from each other? When you start seeing each other again, the problems are still going to be there but not addressed. I wish you the best of luck and hope you guys can work it out. I just don't think this is the way to go about it. 1
TXGuy Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Generally, 'taking a break' means I have someone else lined up and I want to try them out for a while guilt free. 4
Griesfootball Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Good luck...but with my past experiences, taking "breaks" is just prolonging the inevitable. How can you work out any problems away from each other? When you start seeing each other again, the problems are still going to be there but not addressed. I wish you the best of luck and hope you guys can work it out. I just don't think this is the way to go about it. This is the problem a lot of young people have, they just run away from their problems, the communication is weak and the break just makes the problems bigger 1
babycakees Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Generally, 'taking a break' means I have someone else lined up and I want to try them out for a while guilt free. yup...that too
Mike B. Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 (edited) Breaks are not unusual for young couples since they have yet to learn how to really communicate in relationships and believe that stepping away is the answer. I wouldn't force things because he simply has not gained the experience and wisdom to handle this effectively through communication. That just comes with time and you will find that this is just not something you can make someone do. I would allow the week break then he has to talk. Try not to drive yourself insane with a wild imagination in the meantime. Edited July 11, 2014 by Mike B.
PogoStick Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 A 1 week break isn't a big deal. But having a 3 year relationship from age 17 is reason enough to move on. You can thank me now, or after you let this drag out for months or years. 1
kaylan Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Generally, 'taking a break' means I have someone else lined up and I want to try them out for a while guilt free. Bingo. You cannot be scared to leave OP. Even when I was your age I told girls that I don't do breaks. Either we are together or we break up. Youre young, find a healthier relationship. 1
Miss Awesome Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I'm not going to put in my two cents on whether breaks are good or not. I'll just say this: Make clear rules. Talk explicitly about what a break means. Do not expect that you two are on the same page, and do not leave room for, "Oh, I didn't realize I shouldn't have done that."
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