Candy_Pants Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I'm pregnant, 30 weeks. And sex, as much as I love it, just isn't happeneing like it used to. It burns and hurts and is just impossible most days. Then comes my H's attitude about it... Even though we can't have PIV, I still make it a point to satisfy my H orally or manually between 2 and 5 times a day. I also have carpal tunnel and constant heartburn due to pregnancy. But still, I know he has a high sex drive, and usually so do I, so I make it a point to do what little I can, often to my own detriment. And still, he complains that it's not enough. I try to tell him I miss PIV too, and I wish we could do it more often (even though we still have PIV once a week). I'm just at a loss. 2
Keenly Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Yeah... that's kind of ridiculous. A trust fund baby complaining that life is too hard, basically. He isn't going to like my suggestion. Stop getting him off as much. Longer gaps in between ejaculations make the sessions themselves way better. And if he still complains, buy him a flesh light and tell him to STFU because there are dudes on LS that haven't had sex in years. 6
pteromom Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 And still, he complains that it's not enough. You can't do anything with that information. "It's not enough." He needs to be specific. What more does he want? And of course whatever the answer to that is has to take your limitations into consideration. But 2-5 times a day? The dude is spoiled. He needs a hobby. 7
Keenly Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I'll also go out on a limb and say its not the sex that he misses, its the intimacy.
Haydn Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 He really needs to be more patient. Not fair to complain, you are about to give him a beautiful child. 7
dichotomy Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 (edited) I'm pregnant, 30 weeks. And sex, as much as I love it, just isn't happeneing like it used to. It burns and hurts and is just impossible most days. Then comes my H's attitude about it... Even though we can't have PIV, I still make it a point to satisfy my H orally or manually between 2 and 5 times a day. Welcome back to the wifey awards ! Our next category is for best sexual performance by a pregnant wife in the second or third trimester, with or without hand held devices. Our nominees were provided by the national academy of hopeful husbands (NAH) across the country. We would like to show you some of the clips of the nominees performances, but then we could not get permission from the network to show them. But one nominee stood high above all other new moms or moms to be, her sexual on screen performance was so mind-bogglingly overwhelming and awe inspiring – frankly most NAH members thought this performance to be a CGI green screen creation… or had to be using multiple actresses as stand-ins for all the acts. So without further ado….. the winner by a long shot is CandyPants!!!!! :bunny::bunny: CandyPants, the academy of hope husbands would like to present you with the golden Aphrodite, and with your permission, afterwards the members of NAH would like you to speak with their wives while they present this statue to your husband, behind the theater, in an way that conveys their views of his role in supporting your performances. Edited July 10, 2014 by dichotomy 9
bwright42tx Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I'm pregnant, 30 weeks. And sex, as much as I love it, just isn't happeneing like it used to. It burns and hurts and is just impossible most days. Then comes my H's attitude about it... Even though we can't have PIV, I still make it a point to satisfy my H orally or manually between 2 and 5 times a day. I also have carpal tunnel and constant heartburn due to pregnancy. But still, I know he has a high sex drive, and usually so do I, so I make it a point to do what little I can, often to my own detriment. And still, he complains that it's not enough. I try to tell him I miss PIV too, and I wish we could do it more often (even though we still have PIV once a week). I'm just at a loss. Is he complaining in an I'm upset and expect you to do something about this way..... Or is it more of just a general letting you know he's missing it kind of way? Have you talked to him about the problems you're having with Sex? Maybe you just need to ask him bluntly, what would you like me to do about it?
bwright42tx Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I'll also go out on a limb and say its not the sex that he misses, its the intimacy. I guess it can vary for guys, but I find a BJ to be significantly more intimate than intercourse...I don't think he can be missing intimacy if she's giving those (to completion of course). 3
GorillaTheater Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Jesus. Get your H on any standard-issue message board and have him post this: "My wife is 7 months pregnant, and having a few comfort issues, but we only have sex once a week and she only gives me 2-5 handjobs or blowjobs a day! :mad:" Other than a few smartasses telling him to "kick her to the kerb!", he'll get the skinning of his life. 16
SammySammy Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Welcome back to the wifey awards ! Our next category is for best sexual performance by a pregnant wife in the second or third trimester, with or without hand held devices. Our nominees were provided by the national academy of hopeful husbands (NAH) across the country. We would like to show you some of the clips of the nominees performances, but then we could not get permission from the network to show them. But one nominee stood high above all other new moms or moms to be, her sexual on screen performance was so mind-bogglingly overwhelming and awe inspiring – frankly most NAH members thought this performance to be a CGI green screen creation… or had to be using multiple actresses as stand-ins for all the acts. So without further ado….. the winner by a long shot is CandyPants!!!!! :bunny::bunny: CandyPants, the academy of hope husbands would like to present you with the golden Aphrodite, and with your permission, afterwards the members of NAH would like you to speak with their wives while they present this statue to your husband, behind the theater, in an way that conveys their views of his role in supporting your performances. Hmmm. I'm not so sure. My wife and I had PIV sex the night before she delivered. We had intercourse throughout the pregnancy without her complaining that she couldn't or it was more difficult. Sure, things changed and we had to adapt but I think my wife wanted it as much as I did and never took PIV sex off the table. Of course, situations are different. I'm just not sure blowjobs, handjobs and once per week intercourse represents the pinnacle or sex during pregnancy.
Dean13 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I still make it a point to satisfy my H orally or manually between 2 and 5 times a day. No advice here, just wanted to say one thing. If my wife was giving me oral sex and hand jobs 5 times a day, I'd be complaining too. As in, around the 4th time, "this has been great today honey, but 3 times is enough, really, let's watch TV." I can't think of one thing I want done to me 5 times in one day. 9
carrie_o Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 If he is complaining now, what is going to happen after you give birth? Most doctors tell you to wait 6 weeks before having sex again. Add in all the stress and lack of sleep from the new baby, I doubt you'll be able to do other stuff so many times a day. 9
Grumpybutfun Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 He's an a$$. I hope he grows up before you have this child because he is going to have to step up and be a man real soon. Your relationship overall, from your other posts, is very troubling. Do not stay with this guy just because you think he will change, he won't. He is selfish, has no boundaries, treats you like his possession and he blames it on externals that he doesn't get help for. Prepare yourself because throwing a baby into this mix will only exacerbate everything as he will no longer be the center of your universe 24/7 especially from birth until five years old. I think you deserve much better. You have an honesty, a selflessness that enables men like this to take you for granted. You already left once and he still acts like a moron, so how long are you going to accept this kind of behavior? I normally wouldn't be this harsh with you but you are one of my favorite posters here and I hate to read how he treats you overall. This issue is just one in many where he thinks only about himself and personally, I think you deserve more. He needs help, therapy, for issues beyond you and yet he still does very little to heal. You can't fix him and as long as he is self absorbed, he will never be the kind of man that makes a good father. My wife was never pregnant but I can assure you that complaining about anything that hurt her during pregnancy, or even during non pregnancy wouldn't even register to me. I actually want her to be safe, to protect her from pain and to do nothing that causes harm to her in any way. My high sex drive doesn't denote my ability to be loving towards my wife for any reason and I'm not entitled to her favors when she is sick from having my child. You go way beyond what is expected during this time and yet he is still a whiny a$$. Time to say no, and stop catering to his self absorption. Then ask yourself if this is how any man acts towards someone he loves. Good luck Grumps 20
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 If he is complaining now, what is going to happen after you give birth? Most doctors tell you to wait 6 weeks before having sex again. Add in all the stress and lack of sleep from the new baby, I doubt you'll be able to do other stuff so many times a day. Amen. I think you're a champ for going the extra mile to try and keep your hubby happy despite you feeling uncomfortable right now. That is more than what most women, pregnant or not, will do so your hubby should be thanking his lucky stars rather than bellyaching. Every couple who has started a family knows that after the birth of their child, especially their first, life as you know it forever changes including your sex life. That doesn't mean this adjustment period has to last forever of course but you both have to be prepared that things WILL change. I don't have any solutions for you unfortunately except to say that this is just part of life when you go from being a childless couple to being a family. Good luck! 3
atreides Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Amen to the above post.... lmao I have 3 boys... he has no idea what he is in for. My wife had a lot of extra stitches making for longer heal time as well after my last two boys were born. He needs to grow up or go manual himself a few times. There is just something wrong visually to me in asking 30 weeks out my wife who actually should be getting the TLC instead, to go down on demand. Slap him for me OP. 3
Mr. Lucky Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Even though we can't have PIV, I still make it a point to satisfy my H orally or manually between 2 and 5 times a day. Quick calendar check confirms that it's not April 1st. My wife said I should be happy with once a trimester... Mr. Lucky
soccerrprp Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I guess it can vary for guys, but I find a BJ to be significantly more intimate than intercourse.... REALLY? You think bjs are MORE intimate than intercourse? Interesting... But I do agree that other than being selfish, he is missing the intimacy, body on body, coitus type of sex.
SammySammy Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 REALLY? You think bjs are MORE intimate than intercourse? Interesting... But I do agree that other than being selfish, he is missing the intimacy, body on body, coitus type of sex. Agreed. Blowjobs and handjobs are not substitutes for intercourse for some people. He probably sees it as he's only have sex once per week. She sees it as he's getting sex 2-5 times a day. A slight disconnect there.
Anela Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Intimacy is also cuddling and talking, holding hands, connecting with his wife emotionally in other ways. She's growing a human being in her body, and can't help anything that she's feeling due to the pregnancy. I also wonder about when the baby is born. She doesn't need any more stress. 3
Els Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 REALLY? You think bjs are MORE intimate than intercourse? Interesting... But I do agree that other than being selfish, he is missing the intimacy, body on body, coitus type of sex. I don't necessarily agree that they are 'more' intimate, but the poster was responding to Keenly's post that he was missing intimacy. If the only way for someone to feel intimate is PIV sex and NOTHING else counts - not making out, or cuddling, or oral sex... that is their prerogative, but surely they can expect to feel dissatisfied at some point or another of their life. Because things happen that make daily PIV sex not a possibility sometimes. In that case the onus is not on their pregnant spouse, but themselves, to deal with it. OP, I agree that your H is being selfish. You are doing the best you can to maintain the intimacy and sexual connection despite not being able to have intercourse. And yet he complains. It's understandable that he would miss intercourse, but it's his baby too, and it's just a sacrifice that you two have to make together and support one another through. 2
Smilecharmer Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Candy, GBF is right. You need to reevaluate your marriage because this isn't about intimacy so much as entitlement and immaturity. Intimacy can be resolved in more than one way in a marriage and if he is telling you differently, he is using that as an excuse to get what he wants regardless of your pain. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with his lack of love and compassion. Safe cyber hugs if you need them. I'm here for you. PM me anytime sweet little mommy. 8
Eivuwan Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I read your other thread about your husband. He is extremely disturbed. I cannot see any positives in being around him. Please leave for your own health. 1
whichwayisup Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I'm pregnant, 30 weeks. And sex, as much as I love it, just isn't happeneing like it used to. It burns and hurts and is just impossible most days. Then comes my H's attitude about it... Even though we can't have PIV, I still make it a point to satisfy my H orally or manually between 2 and 5 times a day. I also have carpal tunnel and constant heartburn due to pregnancy. But still, I know he has a high sex drive, and usually so do I, so I make it a point to do what little I can, often to my own detriment. And still, he complains that it's not enough. I try to tell him I miss PIV too, and I wish we could do it more often (even though we still have PIV once a week). I'm just at a loss. Okay, let's ban "PIV". So degrading every time I see it on LS.. Could offer oral sex instead of actual sex. Really he should just take care of himself and not expect you to satisfy him, especially since you're not feeling well at times. 2
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