Chemistry...to wait or not to wait?!

[stanleyandme]

Hey Damia,

 

I've just done the same - I told him on the phone last night that I only want to be friends and he reacted really well. I feel a mixture of relief and sadness... relief that I don't have to 'try' and create the spark and sadness that he's not right for me, as he's so right in so many ways (if you get what I mean!)

 

Anyway, friends sounds a sensible approach for you too - I think once you see someone as friends you really get a sense of whether there is something there or not. For me, now I've done the 'deed' I can already tell I've done the right thing, I don't feel the chemistry with him and although its sad its clearly the best thing for both of us.

 

Hope you get on okay and good luck ;-)) xx

[stanleyandme]

Ps - I feel the same way about running a mile if a guy came on too strong. That was part of the problem with this guy - he was just way too full on too soon and it felt more like projection that reality. Just go slow and most girls will respect you for it, you certainly won't lose a decent girl by taking your time. x

[Kid_Charlemange]

Just a followup to my earlier post... I gave her some space and room, and didn't hear from her for over a week. Which is all fine and good. She's a very nice woman, very attractive, and we had a good time. Does she make my heart pound with excitement? No. But then again, very few do. So I'll chalk up our five dates as fun times with an interesting person, and call them a success

 

Meanwhile, I've met another one who actually DOES make my heart beat a little faster! It's only been three dates, but we're supposed to share a B&B room this weekend which is a big step. I have no expectations regarding what's gonna happen, but sharing a room is kinda intimate in and of itself! So in a way, I'm glad I waited and didn't pursue the first one. You never know.

 

It's funny... I hadn't "dated" per se in over a decade, so I'm just now getting back into how it works. Maybe I'm getting better at it