mollmcf Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 My boyfriend and I met online. I could not fault our relationship for the first 6 months, I loved spending time with him and there wasn't a day where we didn't text/snapchat/email all day. About 3 months ago I noticed a change in him - he was cold with his replies, wasn't initiating conversation like usual and made excuses as to not see me. He said he was just not feeling himself, so I gave it a week, let him know I was there and he came around. This same thing happened again about a month later. He said he was just not feeling like himself, stressed out and a little down. I gave him some space and in about 3 weeks he felt better and everything returned to normal. I have just got back from a 2 month prac for Uni (7 hours away from home). We contunied to talk everyday while I was up there and we were counting down the days until I got back and until we could see each other again. About 4 weeks in I noticed that same change in him again. He had just gotten some bad family news so I put it down to that. I told him that I'd always be there for him but if it ever got too much, then all he had to do was to let me know and I'd back off altogether and if I was annoying him or bothering him while he was trying to heal to let me know. He said that I could never annoy him and he's promise to say but he just needed some time alone. I honoured that and we barely spoke for another two weeks which is very unusual. I had come home during that time and heard nothing from him. I would ask him how he was every now and then and I got no reply. I struggled with not talking to him for so long so I text him asking if he felt any better and that if he needed help I was here. He said that it was nothing I'd done, he feels terrible but he is in a weird spot in his life, he hasn't been sleeping, feels really down, is not himself and isn't even seeing his friends and he really just needs time alone. It has been 4 weeks since we've spoke. I'm taking this as a breakup because I don't know what else to think. I notice that a girl he used to date (who now lives some hours away) is his best friend on snapchat so I assume they have started talking again. Why her and not me?! I'm really struggling with it. I can't seem to move on considering there was no "official" break up and I have some hope that he might once again come around. How can I let this go and move on? It's consuming me, it's all I think about when I wake up and go to sleep and its ruining my days.
kassy Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Id message him or email him and tell him that you are assuming the relationship is over, that you would like to be there for him as a friend and who knows if things work out that way maybe have another go at another point in time. But for now you are going to start dating again. If you feel inclined to still be there as a friend. Its not a relationship when h disappears for over a month
Snakechammah Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I agree it's not a relationship if the guy fell off the face of the earth. I mean, if he's incapacitated or hospitalized, that's one thing, but he's ok. Fine and dandy. And even chatting up that ex in Snapchat! OP, you are worth more than this. If he's not man enough to tell you he has changed his mind, then you do the honour by telling him you changed yours. Don't let him disrespect you like this. Trust me, I know the feeling. No man is busy for what he wants. A spade is a spade. I hope you have the strength to heal from this. Hugs.
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 He did the fade. That is official even if it's not a clean break. Keep yourself busy. When you feel better look for someone else.
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