Noproblem Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Well, you know what.. I don't know what's wrong with friend zone anyway ...What's wrong with being friends ...It's like guys these days will not even bother to say hello to you unless they are getting something ......and this is depressing specially for someone like me who likes to have male friends! But anyway ..I found this on Facebook and I guess he is giving other guys who are stuck in the friend zone a bit of hope check his story out... 1
irc333 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 (edited) The guy in the post sounded like a sap holding out for her and not dating other women and I think she thinks of him as , "Well, after dating all those losers, I guess Ill date you now" as if he was some kind of consolation or runner up prize. It's fine, perhaps if you're young or in college, but when you get to a certain age (around 30 or even 40's) it gets old and being constantly friend zone by women you'd RATHER be dating gets disappointing. Also, why continue a friendship with a woman you attempted to get romantic with when you time could be best spent on attempting to get a woman interested in you romantically? I knew of a woman that had quite a few dissappointed "suitors' she FZ'ed, they tried to be her friend ONLY to spend time with her to see if it turns into something more, only to reject them constantly. Eventually they just "faded" when keeping in touch and never heard from them again. Seriously, men cannot be faulted for this and women shouldn't blame them. Yes, one can have too many friends. Me personally, I am not one for having a plethora of friends, but really only a close niche' of GOOD friends I can count on ONE hand. I'm not much of a socialite, so that's how it is with me. Well, you know what.. I don't know what's wrong with friend zone anyway ...What's wrong with being friends ...It's like guys these days will not even bother to say hello to you unless they are getting something ......and this is depressing specially for someone like me who likes to have male friends! But anyway ..I found this on Facebook and I guess he is giving other guys who are stuck in the friend zone a bit of hope check his story out... Edited July 10, 2014 by irc333 5
irc333 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 ....kind of a follow-up to my female friend who put a lot of men in the "friendzone". She basically would be asked out by these guys, and her response if she's NOT attracted to them was, "Sure, we can go out...but as friends" They go, "Sure...no problem!" but really, they only hope to be NEAR here to "get with her romantically." Of course, when out together, he's trying to put the moves on her, touch her as a boyfriend would, and at parties and social events it wound up being embarassing for her as other men she IS interested in (at the party) may not approach her. She's actually had to take these guys aside at the event to tell these men to "knock it off" as other people would think they are a couple. ANd of course the guy is like, "Well, that was my intention" LOL (Of course that's what he's thinking.) Eventually, these guys would wind up being frustrated, stop calling her figuring she wasn't worth the effort. One guy actually spent the night with her in his trailer at a Meetup camp out. They didn't sleep in the same bed, but in the same quarters of the trailer. At the end of the campout after they were on their way back home and he was about to drop her off, he actually said, "Would you like to be my girlfriend" She said, "No, sorry, I don't think of you in that way" He was hoping after an entire weekend with her, that their status would change over night...but it didn't. Needless to say, it didn't end pretty. Of course she could have respected his boundaries and brought her own stupid tend and sleeping bag and that would've been the end of that awkwardness of him having a woman in the same sleeping area as him only to get nothing romantic out of it at the end of the trip. 1
the tank Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 When a woman friendzone me, i dont wait for her. I move on , but I kept them as a friend . I always got invite to some party and some of them have introduce me to one of their girl friend. 3
salparadise Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Well, you know what.. I don't know what's wrong with friend zone anyway ...What's wrong with being friends ...It's like guys these days will not even bother to say hello to you unless they are getting something... and this is depressing specially for someone like me who likes to have male friends! I'll tell you what's wrong with friendzone... when a relationship is not reciprocal it's just as hard for a guy as it would be for you (if say, you wanted romance and the object of your affections was willing to bang but not date), and guy's feelings matter. How can you not see that unrequited feelings are extremely difficult regardless of which gender is getting the short end of the deal? 1
Kid_Charlemange Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Hope? The only hope for friend zoned guys is that they wise up and move on. Waiting around for some girl to finish sleeping around with a bunch of other guys before she gives me a shot? No thanks. And as bad as that is, it can be much worse if you get FZ'd after a relationship.... I did, and didn't really know it. I thought by hanging out all the time during a "time out," we were working on our relationship, and our trust issues. I thought by vacationing together and spending holidays with each others' families were weren't "just friends." I thought sleeping in the same bed many times over a couple of months, snuggling on the couch, and holding hands it was more than "friends." I was wrong. And after I found out she was banging other men, her shocked reaction to my reaction was pretty stunning. "Why are you upset? We're just friends." Obviously the thing to do was make a clean break. Live and learn. As for waiting around while FZ'd? Bad idea. For every situation where the woman recognizes what a "great guy" you are, there are dozens where she never does. He should be dating other women. Waiting around just shows him to be a wuss, and that ain't attractive.
organizedchaos Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Well, you know what.. I don't know what's wrong with friend zone anyway ...What's wrong with being friends ...It's like guys these days will not even bother to say hello to you unless they are getting something ......and this is depressing specially for someone like me who likes to have male friends! But anyway ..I found this on Facebook and I guess he is giving other guys who are stuck in the friend zone a bit of hope check his story out... It's ok to just be friends, when that's what both parties want. But if one wants more, friend zone sucks. And it's okay to move on. That story? Meh. Who wants to waste their time waiting for someone to finally settle for you?
Author Noproblem Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 (edited) I'll tell you what's wrong with friendzone... when a relationship is not reciprocal it's just as hard for a guy as it would be for you (if say, you wanted romance and the object of your affections was willing to bang but not date), and guy's feelings matter. How can you not see that unrequited feelings are extremely difficult regardless of which gender is getting the short end of the deal? Because! some guys would want to be with me ( or another girl) after a short while No, not really.. This is not love this is just them trying their luck! Love is something that happens after 2 or 3 days ... Real feelings take time ... Edited July 11, 2014 by Noproblem 1
todreaminblue Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Because! some guys would want to be with me ( or another girl) after a short while No, not really.. This is not love this is just them trying their luck! Love is something that happens after 2 or 3 days ... Real feelings take time ... i do think its hard for any gender to watch someone they really like get with other people.....and that's why people dont stay friends some times its just too much....but i do believe the strongest relationships come from friends first......deb 1
Author Noproblem Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 Because! this is just them trying their luck! Love is something that happens after 2 or 3 days ... Real feelings take time ... Love is not something that happens after 2 or 3 days ... I just wanted to edit that mistake
Author Noproblem Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 The whole topic is about that guy and its' not about me.. some people would wait for the one they love even though it seems impossible but they will wait I think it's kind of stupid and humiliating, but they can't help it but waiting an hoping some day that person will love them ...
Author Noproblem Posted July 11, 2014 Author Posted July 11, 2014 You are upset at me and I am also upset at this mentality "Why would I waste my time with some women without getting romantic" We are to you sex and love machines , nothing less and nothing more......
GoreSP Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I'll tell you what's wrong with friendzone... when a relationship is not reciprocal it's just as hard for a guy as it would be for you (if say, you wanted romance and the object of your affections was willing to bang but not date), and guy's feelings matter. How can you not see that unrequited feelings are extremely difficult regardless of which gender is getting the short end of the deal? Yes unrequited feelings are hard. But if you have romantic interest in someone and the interest isn't there, don't remain her friend hoping she will change her mind. She won't. I have no pity for men who pull crap like and expect us to feel bad about not being attracted to them even though they are 'nice guys'
GoreSP Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I'll tell you what's wrong with friendzone... when a relationship is not reciprocal it's just as hard for a guy as it would be for you (if say, you wanted romance and the object of your affections was willing to bang but not date), and guy's feelings matter. How can you not see that unrequited feelings are extremely difficult regardless of which gender is getting the short end of the deal? Yes unrequited feelings are hard. But if you have romantic interest in someone and the interest isn't there, don't remain her friend hoping she will change her mind. She won't. I have no pity for men who pull crap like and this expect us to feel bad about not being attracted to them even though they are 'nice guys' 4
iiiii Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 This problem is the responsibility of both parties. It's not fair for the woman to let the guy hang around if she knows he has unrequited feelings, because if she's his true friend, she will want the best for him - which means him moving on and find an actual girlfriend. Its not fair for the guy to lie to the girl and say he does want to be friends, when he will never be satisfied until he's in a sexual relationship, because true friends aren't deceptive and manipulative about their intentions. If you think friendship with a particular girl is just a crappy consolation prize... then you're not her true friend, and it will do you both good if you got out of her life. 3
hotpotato Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Sounds like this guy needs some self respect. I guess if he likes being 2nd, no rather 3rd or 4th pick thats his prerogative. 1
hotpotato Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 From a womans perpsective, I would never fz a guy I was interested in. The guys I fzed were guys I was never, ever intending to date. It didnt have anything to do with how fast or slow he moved. Usually, they would come on to me, rejected, then fade away. They were courting me and wasting their time. Being friends is completely different from being romantic partners. Dont expect friendship to be a stepping stone. This thinking belongs in the silver screen not real life.
GoreSP Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 This problem is the responsibility of both parties. It's not fair for the woman to let the guy hang around if she knows he has unrequited feelings, because if she's his true friend, she will want the best for him - which means him moving on and find an actual girlfriend. Its not fair for the guy to lie to the girl and say he does want to be friends, when he will never be satisfied until he's in a sexual relationship, because true friends aren't deceptive and manipulative about their intentions. If you think friendship with a particular girl is just a crappy consolation prize... then you're not her true friend, and it will do you both good if you got out of her life. I'm sorry. I highly disagree with this (bolded) If I am clear with a man that I have no romantic interest in him and he sticks around as a friend, I have no reason to believe he didn't get the message the first time and I'm going to assume he does want to be my friend. So yeah I'm going to be his friend. I am not responsible for other people's feelings when they are not taking no for an answer and I do not have to spend my time trying to figure out what my friends want out of me when I made it pretty f'ing clear from the start. And this applies to women who stick around men who are not interested in them romantically too and (gasp) sleep with him anyways. 3
Revolver Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Why would I stay friends with a woman who I like but doesn't like me in "that way"? I would move on.
melodicintention Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Women and men can't be friends unless one of them is really unattractive or a family member (the later doesn't apply in Kentucky). I jest, but seriously....men and women can't be friends. The sexual aspect gets in the way. No I didn't get this from a famous movie make a couple of decade ago, it's true science. I gave up trying to be "friends" with guys it does't work. If we get along fine, but I don't try to make anything work, as it will eventually crumble once they or I find a significant other. 1
hotpotato Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 Women and men can't be friends unless one of them is really unattractive or a family member (the later doesn't apply in Kentucky). I jest, but seriously....men and women can't be friends. The sexual aspect gets in the way. No I didn't get this from a famous movie make a couple of decade ago, it's true science. I gave up trying to be "friends" with guys it does't work. If we get along fine, but I don't try to make anything work, as it will eventually crumble once they or I find a significant other. Same here. I wont even be friends with an older guy. Its all the same unless hes gay.
salparadise Posted July 11, 2014 Posted July 11, 2014 I have no pity for men who pull crap like and this expect us to feel bad... You’re right about that- this isn’t a game where either has much sympathy for the other. Both sides play to win and just can’t seem to understand why the other won’t just give them what they want… asymmetry is a great optimizer, but it’s frustrating as hell.
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