spirius Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I returned my ex's stuff last night, but also included a valentines gift she gave me, the watch she gave me for my birthday and a soft toy she gave me. I loved all of these things, but will only associate them with her. she just cheated on me and rejected my forgiving her. was this a low blow, giving them back? thoughts?
ASG Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Yes, you don't give gifts back. But I guess it makes a statement as to your feelings toward her... 2
JimmyWeezy Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Well, obviously you gave them back hoping that once they see them, their heart would sink. And maybe it will. I can see why you did it. I still have my ex's stuff at home and we'll see when he sends over one of our friends to pick up, as for the gifts... I threw away the valentine card and kept the ring the roses the clothes, everything. I'm planning to give him a dvd I bought for him which he forgot I have because he wanted to watch it together and always kept it at my house, I was also planning on giving him back a frame he bought me during our trip in London 2 months ago. It's a plastic frame with a sentence in the middle stating "how lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard". No need to comment on it. But you know what? I realized it's a memory I wanna keep because I wanna believe it was real, since the trip was probably the best thing we ever did. Back on topic: not a low blow at all. You were dumped so it's up to you what to do with the gifts. Returning them is a lot more decent and educate than throwing them away in my opinion. And you do then a favor too because they might use them to fool someone else. 2
David87 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Yeah it was, the best thing to do with gifts, pictures ect is to put them in a box away in your garage. 1
David87 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I have a huge book collection,(I love books) before she dumped me my ex took one to read, but never returned it. I would like to have it back........Because its very hard to find. 1
Author spirius Posted July 10, 2014 Author Posted July 10, 2014 To be fair I think she actually once said please don't throw the watch away, give it back if we ever break up. I wanted to keep the soft toy and the valentines gift was the best present anyone has ever bought me, but I will only ever associate it with her now and I wont look back on it in future thinking what a great relationship, just that she was lying to me and I had my heart broken. I also get the sense she is trying to get me to hang on and I wanted to send a clear signal that if she is gone, Im not sitting there pining for her, hugging the soft toy and wearing the watch etc. that if she is gone, im erasing her. 1
David87 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 To be fair I think she actually once said please don't throw the watch away, give it back if we ever break up. I wanted to keep the soft toy and the valentines gift was the best present anyone has ever bought me, but I will only ever associate it with her now and I wont look back on it in future thinking what a great relationship, just that she was lying to me and I had my heart broken. I also get the sense she is trying to get me to hang on and I wanted to send a clear signal that if she is gone, Im not sitting there pining for her, hugging the soft toy and wearing the watch etc. that if she is gone, im erasing her. It depends on the person I guess, my ex still wears the ring I bought her in 2009, we are in good terms now. 1
JimmyWeezy Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Yes, you don't give gifts back. But I guess it makes a statement as to your feelings toward her... And you treat those who love you like sh*t, but they do, so.... 2
guest569 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I wouldn't worry about it. I asked my ex if he wanted his stuff and he said give it away or throw it if it is too upsetting to keep, he would completely understand..compared to her cheating on you, well, giving back a stuffed toy is not much of a low blow if you ask me. 1
ASG Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 It depends on the person I guess, my ex still wears the ring I bought her in 2009, we are in good terms now. I've always kept everything my exes gave me. Some things I don't even associate with them anymore! Like the big bean bag one of my exes gave ne for our 1year anniversary. It's mine and I love it. Only remembered it was a gift from him while writing this post!
Ordinaryday Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I returned my ex's stuff last night, but also included a valentines gift she gave me, the watch she gave me for my birthday and a soft toy she gave me. I loved all of these things, but will only associate them with her. she just cheated on me and rejected my forgiving her. was this a low blow, giving them back? thoughts? I threw out everything my ex gave to me as a gift, it felt tainted after she dumped me. text her "do you want these things back, cos if not they are going in the garbage". then she can make the decision
d0nnivain Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 As the dumpee it's pretty hard for you to do anything that is a low blow. If you no longer wanted the things, you had every right to dispose of them as you see fit. Usually I return the other person's possession but box up the gifts given to me so I can't see them. When the acute pain ceases or about 1 year later I re-open the box, if I independently like a piece i keep it, otherwise dispose of it. If it's valuable sell it & keep the $$
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