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an old topic: Why he doesn't call?


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Posted

I attended a party for singles, or, rather, some kind of dating workshop. I had a good time and got to know quite a few new friends, girls and guys.

 

There was one guy (early 30s) who was very quiet and talked very little. He showed obvious interest in me. It was so obvious that someone as dull as me can tell. He almost announced it in the minutes I was away. After the workshop other girls kept asking me if I was interested in him too since "He really really likes you, Alice". I think he is very nice, looks like down to earth. And I believe I gave enough positive feedback that day.

 

He was very quiet indeed. For most of the time that day, it was always me to initiated the conversation. Except that, he enjoyed sitting beside me in a dark position when we were in bar and he was teased by the others for that.

 

He did not contact me until next evening. He texted me with normal greetings and said he will come to visit me when he has time. (We are in different cities).

 

Then, he disappeared. I haven't got any message or call in the next 4 days.

 

Fortunately I am not emotionally attached to him yet because we barely know each other.

But I still keep thinking what's wrong with myself or with him.

Posted

It's not you, it's him. He's obviously the anxious, self-sabotaging type.

  • Like 1
Posted

Since you are already aware that he is shy, it's unfair for you to put all the burden on him to initiate & continue communications. You should call him to get the ball rolling. the old stereotypical gender roles are more of a hindrance in modern society,

 

If you are truly stuck on him coming to you 1st, let him know about interesting upcoming things in your city. Otherwise tell him when you are available to go to his city.

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Posted

I may wait for one more weekend and see. I assume he is busy.

Posted

@ alice 2014

 

By your own admission ,you have told us that you are not invested in this guy yet and your actions (or rather the lack of it) clearly show this.

 

You already know he likes you (again by your own admission) ,he has opened communication with you both face to face and over the phone,he has made a move and for a shy guy that is a big deal!

Has it ever occured to you that he didn't call deliberately to see your interest level?

Posted

Sooooooo OP, did you try to contact him?

Posted

They don't call,don't write,don't contact when they're not interested.

Every girl has a hard time understanding this basic concept.

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