paris4 Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I found this guy on a dating website who turned out to be a co-worker. We've never communicated before but I remembered on several prior occasions of him looking at me with some interest so I initiated contact and asked him out. He agreed immediately and since then we've had three dates (but in the span of 2-3months because he has a really busy job). At the end of the third date he told me that he think we should continue going out. This last date was right before he had to leave for a week and before he had to start a big project he had been planning for the past year. Initially during the first few days after the third date, we were texting happily but suddenly I sensed a change in his texting pattern mid week. After he returned he not only stopped texting back as quickly as he had before but one weekend he just completely ignored my texts which was unusual. He just told me that he wasn't feeling well and was stressed by the project. I tried to follow up on our plan to continue going out but he kept saying he was really busy. About a month went by without seeing him and one day I accidentally bumped into him at work. He seemed really "giddy" to see me. He kept coming back to where I was all day and tried to talk to me each time. For the next month, we just kept bumping into each other at work. Each time he would try to carry a conversation with me. He always started off with describing how busy he's been. Third month went by and still just accidentally meeting up at work but no dates so I directly asked him if he was still interested in hanging out. He said he was but he needed another two months to finish his project. I continued to see him at work and he continued to try to spend a little time to talk to me each time about my life and his life/family. Now that his project is complete, I thought he would ask me out again but he hasn't. He did once suddenly texted to ask to have lunch with him at work, but we weren't able to make it happen due to schedule differences. We recently had an event and I asked if he was going. He said he was thinking about it and asked if I was going. I said I was hoping to and thought maybe he would suggest that we go together but he didn't. In the end, he went with his friends. We have been texting a lot more though and our conversations are now longer and feels more relaxed but he very rarely ever initiate a text, even in the beginning. He does initiate majority of the conversations we've had at work. I am just utterly confused by this guy. Why is it that when I see him, he acts interested in me. But via text he doesn't seem to be as interested and he never asks me out. Should I just give up on him. I just don't understand him and what he is doing! If he is doing the slow-fade then why when I gave him the chance to end it all, he didn't. And why would he now make more effort to talk to me more. If he's actually dating someone else now, how can I tell and why wouldn't he cut off communication with me? Thank you all for your advice. It has been an excruciatingly painful couple of months. The only reason I stuck around this long is that I've never liked a guy as much as I've liked him and I've never found a guy with whom I have so much in common.
deathandtaxes Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 Three dates in three months? Why even bother? You either ask him out yourself or you just let it go, because it's obvious he's not going to ask you out.
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