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A dinner invitation on first contact?


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Posted
Yes, but I hate being the first date for a newbie online dater. They really want to see what's out there and don't stick with the first one.

 

Well most the ladies here who found love the guy just so happens to sign on for the first time like the night or week before. Good luck!

Posted
Yes, but I hate being the first date for a newbie online dater. They really want to see what's out there and don't stick with the first one.

 

Do you approach every single scenario with negativity?

 

First it was: WHAT!? How dare he just straight up invite me!?

 

Now it is: I don't want to be someone's first date.

 

Can you just go out and try to have fun? Just him showing up should be a win given your last two weeks.

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Posted (edited)

So we had our dinner-date tonight. He was nice, very nervous, It's his first time online and I am his first date. He's a big guy, 6' 250-lbs. Not sure how I feel about that. He carries it well he's got a strong frame but that's still big.

 

The date was a big ego boost for me, he kept complimenting me on how feminine I am, how my skin is beautiful and it's impossible to tell my age.

 

He wanted to go for a last coffee somewhere else but it was close to midnight and I work tomorrow so I politely declined and offer we do it soon.

 

While I drove home he text me good night with a kiss, I thanked him again for dinner, the lovely company and nice compliments.

 

I will see him again but.....

 

Remember I said on his profile he made a comment he was looking for a serious relationship but open to 'fun'.

 

I clarified with him him I was looking for a long term relationship. He said: Well yes me too but you know for women love leads to sex, for men sex leads to love, that's kind of why I put that there.

 

Ya right.

Edited by Gaeta
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Posted
So we had our dinner-date tonight. He was nice, very nervous, It's his first time online and I am his first date. He's a big guy, 6' 250-lbs. Not sure how I feel about that. He carries it well he's got a strong frame but that's still big.

 

The date was a big ego boost for me, he kept complimenting me on how feminine I am, how my skin is beautiful and it's impossible to tell my age.

 

He wanted to go for a last coffee somewhere else but it was close to midnight and I work tomorrow so I politely declined and offer we do it soon.

 

While I drove home he text me good night with a kiss, I thanked him again for dinner, the lovely company and nice compliments.

 

I will see him again but.....

 

Remember I said on his profile he made a comment he was looking for a serious relationship but open to 'fun'.

 

I clarified with him him I was looking for a long term relationship. He said: Well yes me too but you know for women love leads to sex, for men sex leads to love, that's kind of why I put that there.

 

Ya right.

 

I'm sorry but what I get from this post from you is: "He is ok but he is fat. I don't want him cause of this, so I'll just try to find other negatives to ditch him so I don't get called a racist (from other and from myself)".

Posted
I'm sorry but what I get from this post from you is: "He is ok but he is fat. I don't want him cause of this, so I'll just try to find other negatives to ditch him so I don't get called a racist (from other and from myself)".

Racist? Is fat a race?

  • Like 4
Posted

so great!!

let us know how it goes!!!!

:) :)

Posted
Racist? Is fat a race?

 

In my eyes any discrimination against a person for a characteristic they have for which they are not responsible is a kind of racism.

Posted

she is just being cautious in my opinion and good for you OP for taking a chance :) you never know where it might lead!!

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Posted
In my eyes any discrimination against a person for a characteristic they have for which they are not responsible is a kind of racism.

 

As ax EX fat woman, as someone who lost 125-lbs and has kept it off for 3 years now I am confirming you obesity is entirely 100% you responsibility, and no one else.

 

You kind of jumped the gun here. I even said he carries it well. When I said I am unsure how I feel about his size it's because I am a petite woman and it's very awkward to be with someone twice your size.

  • Like 5
Posted
In my eyes any discrimination against a person for a characteristic they have for which they are not responsible is a kind of racism.

Well first of all, being fat is your responsibility.

 

Secondly, no it's not like racism at all. Even if it was, it's silly to try to make a person feel bad about what they are attracted to. Silly and pointless.

  • Like 2
Posted
Well first of all, being fat is your responsibility.

 

Not when it has to do with health issues.

 

Secondly, no it's not like racism at all. Even if it was, it's silly to try to make a person feel bad about what they are attracted to. Silly and pointless.

 

I was not trying to make her feel bad about what she is attracted to, but I pointed out that in my ears it seemed like she was trying to find other negatives against him in order to avoid the real reason about her rejecting him, which, from the way she expressed herself, showed to me it was his weight. I'm sorry if I'm wrong, I just expressed my opinion.

Posted

Even if he were attractive, I'd be turned off about the comment regarding love leading to sex vs sex leading to love. He wants to get laid. He isn't 'getting any' so he comfort eats instead.

 

Were his photos clear and current, by the way?

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Posted

About this guy here.

 

We had dinner last Thursday evening. He had no problem letting me know he liked me, he'd touch me, give me compliments, offered to teach me roller bladding, I told him that sounded great, I told him I would like to see him again too. He paid for dinner, I offered to split and he refused.

 

After the date he text me good night, I thanked him again, told him I had a great time.

 

Nothing ever since.

 

I know I could contact him but.....as per your own experience, chasing a man down never leads anywhere right?

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Posted
Even if he were attractive, I'd be turned off about the comment regarding love leading to sex vs sex leading to love. He wants to get laid. He isn't 'getting any' so he comfort eats instead.

 

Were his photos clear and current, by the way?

 

Sorry I missed that question.

 

He looked like his picture. He's a good looking man, just more imposing than I anticipated.

Posted
As per your own experience, chasing a man down never leads anywhere right?

 

 

Chasing is bad. One overture is OK.

 

 

I'd call him & invite him on one casual date. See what kind of reaction you get. Even if it's negative at least you won't be left wondering.

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Posted

I text him at 6h, never got a reply * rolling my eyes*

Posted
Not when it has to do with health issues.

There's a health issue that makes someone put copious amounts of food in their mouth? :confused:

 

Best thing that ever happened to you Gaeta. Don't take it personally, sometimes people feel like they're in over their head and decide to bow out.

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Posted

I am going to update this because it is so very ridiculous.

 

He sent me a text 6 days after our dinner and 3 days after ignoring a text I sent on Sunday. He sent me that text at 6 AM this morning !!! saying he's concluded he not ready to date.

 

I wanted to reply I had stopped waiting for him days ago but kept it civil and wished him luck.

  • Like 1
Posted

Meh, can't win them all. At least you won't have to waste time with this guy. Onto the next ;).

Posted
I am going to update this because it is so very ridiculous.

 

He sent me a text 6 days after our dinner and 3 days after ignoring a text I sent on Sunday. He sent me that text at 6 AM this morning !!! saying he's concluded he not ready to date.

 

I wanted to reply I had stopped waiting for him days ago but kept it civil and wished him luck.

Best reply: "Who is this? I don't have your number in my phone"

  • Like 2
Posted
Best reply: "Who is this? I don't have your number in my phone"

 

No way that's terrible why do you have to get all spiteful because he was honest with truth?

 

Sure it took him a few days to get some balls but at least he came out with it.

 

Always be polite you never know what the future holds and when paths cross again.

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