Why sad for someone who cheats ?

[Sad26]

This is what I can't understand. My ex GF cheated on me, threw tantrums and stopped communication with me. Didn't have the decency to end it face to face. Why then I still pine for her, and why I am still hurting? The thought of both the times when she cheated on me makes me so sad, but why I can't hate her still.

 

I am tired of feeling this pain. When will I come out ?

 

BTW, she is enjoying the summer, going out with new guys she met recently and probably shagging one of them.

 

The world seems so unfair place right now.

[d0nnivain]

You miss the person she used to be. You remember the good times & you want that happiness back.

[No Limit]

I am tired of feeling this pain. When will I come out ?

 

When you finally stop dwelling on it.

 

You thought she was a nice gal, she showed you her real colors. Be glad you're rid of her, this way you can find a GF who is more than just a talking vagina.

[nickjd]

I know the feeling mate.

 

My ex cheated, installed a new guy and dumped me in about a week. I had to just walk out of her life because I couldn't believe I had been in love with someone who was capable of this with no remorse or second thought.

 

Had to move back to England (was in Oz) now living with my rents and starting from square one.

[Sad26]

Thanks for all the replies, D0, Nol, and Nick.

 

I was hoping the feeling of cheating would lead me to hate her and make the moving on simple, however it is not.

 

On the other hand, she cheated on me, lied to me, and then is being cruel. Sort of winner takes it all..

[JimmyWeezy]

I know how you feel even if my bf didn't cheat on me. At least not physically, but his mind is curious and a wanderer.

I know you feel like bad people do bad things and get away with it, but I am true believer in karma and humanity. The guilt, the shame, the sense of emptiness and shallowness will hit them sooner or later. They do what they do to avoid their humanity knock on the brain, but that will backfire so bad... Especially when they fall victim of the same patterns.

 

Smile inside my friend, because the pain you feel is showing just how deep, full of love and values you are.

 

We have a skyscraper inside of us, built upon love, values, knowledge and pain. And we suffer, but we have the luxury of standing on top looking down and having the big picture. While they have bricks inside, on the ground, which can't pile up and build something.

 

Smile, your pain is how beautiful you are.

[learning_slowly]

On the plus side, you now know the bad side of things, so you will try hard in your relationships, and hopefully in the next one, you'll meet somebody who will also try.

 

As for your ex, depending on why she got with you to begin with, she will surely wake up one day and realise she messed up. I've seen it loads. Nobody usually realises what they've got till it's gone.

 

There's also the fact that life usually has a way of returning the crap we dish out. I'm sure she will end up being hurt, depending on how she hurt you.

 

But you will have moved on by then. Don't worry, every relationship that ends, seems like the end of the world, but usually they end up being beneficial to your life. Now you have time to do what interests you. And maybe meeting somebody who shares your interests.

[changchewsoon]

I know how you feel, but I want you to know that she has shown you her true colors and you are basically just missing the old her which is not the true her.

 

You probably think she is having the time of her life now, but always remember once karma hits her, it is going to hurt like bitch.

 

Why not you use this opportunity to pick yourself together, go strict NC and do a bit of soul searching at the same time?

 

Only good will come out of it once you go NC and please don't break it. It will take time, but as time goes you will heal.

[sugarlove]

You feel hurt because you felt rejected but the truth is you are indeed good enough, for her to chose you once.

 

Just because she cheated doesn't mean you are not as attractive as you were, you still are ! In fact, even MORE attractive because you're a single man now, so single ladies beware!

[Sad26]

Thanks for your kind words. I used to believe in God, Karma, etc. I have now moved past them - there is no God, and there is no Karma. Those who keep busy themselves by hurting others are the ones who will be happy.

 

I guess it feels sad that someone so easily removed me from her life. She is enjoying her times, posting pictures, tweeting and doing similar things as if nothing happened. As if I was so easy to be replaced and forgotten.

[JimmyWeezy]

Thanks for your kind words. I used to believe in God, Karma, etc. I have now moved past them - there is no God, and there is no Karma. Those who keep busy themselves by hurting others are the ones who will be happy.

 

I guess it feels sad that someone so easily removed me from her life. She is enjoying her times, posting pictures, tweeting and doing similar things as if nothing happened. As if I was so easy to be replaced and forgotten.

 

You really think so? Nah. It will boomerang them big time.

And if it was actually true, can they be classified as 'people'?

 

My bf must be having the time of his life now, but I know it's an illusion. They are not young forever. One day they will realize we were a timeless resource of love, and they will feel so alone and even if they didn't... How sad.

 

Just yesterday my father was telling me how this random woman he hooked up with a couple years ago is still texting him here and there. They dated for a short time, she was married promising she would split soon, and now that she did she is texting my dad again asking him to meet him (she wants to have sex).

My dad is still in touch with a mutual friend who tells him everything about her, she's still lying and playing games and dating ex husbands of her friends and stuff like that.

Then she tells my father she miss him, and if one day things were different is there a chance for them etc. my dad was laughing so hard, especially since he lives with his current girlfriend of 5 years

 

But to think... That people like this woman never change... And our exes are pulling that destiny to themselves by choosing the fun/promiscuous light... You have to have the strenght to wake up one day and realize it's time to grow.

 

I'm 26, I had all the freedom of the world as a teen, I did everything I wanted to do and some I'm embarrassed of but still I had the strenght to stop and WANT stability.

 

God knows why I had to meet this gorgeous and sweet 19 yo boy, 2 years ago... Who hasn't experienced anything, who hasn't even come out to his parents.... I must have been the biggest unexpected thing for him. He feel in love instantly, I was slower in the process but I was super exclusive with him since day one regardless. As the honeymoon faded, around 10 months, he probably started to see the differences between us (normal ones, and mostly due to age difference and maturity) and slowly started to realize he wanted to experiment and wander. He showed instability (downloaded gay chats, lurked boys pics on facebook) but showed he didn't want me gone. I almost broke up with him back in November when I found out he was distancing and looking around. He cried and begged and I stayed, but eventually his curiosity took over him, as my trust was still broken because I felt that something was off... And there we go, he broke up with me 9 days ago. Today, the eleven, would have been our 21 month anniversary and all I can think of are his last words: "I escaped from a relationship that felt suffocating. I want to figure myself out, what I want, who I am, I know I hurt I wish i wouldn't. You've been the most important person of my life and I don't want you to disappear, I wish we could be friends. I'm sorry but my feelings for you kept fading as we kept discussing the same things... We weren't happy, we tried, but you became a friend to my eyes and heart for a whole now. I know it's sad to throw away such history, it's gonna be hard, I'm gonna regret it, but it's the best decision to make".

 

Meaning: I never cared enough to actually realize I was doing the wrong things, I just wanna live and be free without strings attached.

 

Someone please read and give me support...

[Sad26]

Hey Jimmy

 

Thanks for taking out the time to respond to me. I have realised when we are in pain we could understand others pain even more.

 

I can totally understand what you are going through. I hate the words that people say when they breakup, they don't mean anything. Even if they want to mean one word, they would not be doing what they are doing. Our heart does not need kind words, it needs what it needs in that situation.

 

I have been hurt many times in past, and each time I took the risk of opening up again. You did the same, you opened your heart and you got hurt. If someone is not sure of something then the obligation is on them to not start something or not lead others into it. Just because they are confused does not give them the pass to hurt others. This is what your bf did, and this is what my ex gf did. Will your bf ever realise, I doubt he will. Will he ever get hurt - may be not if he carries the way he is carrying now.

 

I don't want to be negative but there is no fair play and no justice. We just need to learn to not get hurt next time whatever it takes.

 

I am not sure if my words are comforting but at this time I can give a shoulder to cry.

[Justaguy30]

I have been there, I still love my ex but she isn't the person I thought she was. She is a raging BITCH and a sociopath walking talking vagina that is pretty much up for grabs from anyone. Its hard when you miss the love you felt and you miss her and then you are sad that she is such a piece of **** and ruining her life but hey you are letting her win by suffering because she likes penis lol. Its really not that big of a deal when you think about it rationally but when you love someone it hurts really freaking bad!!!!!