harvej Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I just had a girl (woman 53 year's old)who told me I was the best man she ever met, loved me and all was well. Then she suddenly got cold feet and ejected me. Said she wasn't ready for a relationship and carries lots of damage from her failed marriage. Apparently she has short lived relationships as I met another man that she did the exact same thing to him. She said she valued our friendship and wanted me in her life. I have not heard from her since and it's been two weeks. My issue is that I am getting angry that she has not initiated any contact with me and it's really upsetting given the way she did the break up (via text) and blue smoke apparently about remaining friends. I want to tell her off so badly and stick it down her throat given how she hurt me and I am not sure what to do. Really pissed she did this and completely disappeared vs remain at least enough to see how in a doing. But I have heard nothing! ! I feel I need some good advice that will send me in the mood to discard her too along with any respect I had. Please help me understand these types of people ?
Ordinaryday Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I just had a girl (woman 53 year's old)who told me I was the best man she ever met, loved me and all was well. Then she suddenly got cold feet and ejected me. Said she wasn't ready for a relationship and carries lots of damage from her failed marriage. Apparently she has short lived relationships as I met another man that she did the exact same thing to him. She said she valued our friendship and wanted me in her life. I have not heard from her since and it's been two weeks. My issue is that I am getting angry that she has not initiated any contact with me and it's really upsetting given the way she did the break up (via text) and blue smoke apparently about remaining friends. I want to tell her off so badly and stick it down her throat given how she hurt me and I am not sure what to do. Really pissed she did this and completely disappeared vs remain at least enough to see how in a doing. But I have heard nothing! ! I feel I need some good advice that will send me in the mood to discard her too along with any respect I had. Please help me understand these types of people ? I thought you would have been old enough to know by now that 'lets just be friends' is in 99% of cases a 'polite' way of saying 'have a nice life'. I am much younger than 53 and I know that!
erklat Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 Yeah, it means exactly that. What she said is basically 'gtfo but I'll try to ease my conscience with a cliché not to appear as a bad person'. Yeah. Feeling of inadequacy stings as hell but NC and forgetting she exists is what you are supposed to do. 1
lolablue17 Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 When you get robbed you are angry but it's not very personal. When a storm damages your house you're angry but it's not personal. That's exactly what happened to you. You were robbed by a woman who is a "relationship terrorist". She doesn't care for you or anybody else, even not herself. I believe she's addicted to the "use and dump" process. So you should treat this event as a criminal who stung you. next time try to improve your radar.
Ordinaryday Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 So you should treat this event as a criminal who stung you. next time try to improve your radar. dating is indeed a process you learn from. when I first started using online dating I got messaged from HEAPS of gorgeous nigerian/russian supermodels/nurses who all fell in love with me after like three emails. I was new to it and initially I just thought their culture is different and maybe they fall in love faster in those countries... but nope, they ALL had an 'emergency' come up and asked me to send them money to help... they all got blocked. now I have learned to spot the telltale signs of a scammer and dont even bother responding to them, delete them immediately. same principal here.
d0nnivain Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I'm sorry she hurt you & saddened that she broke up with you in such an immature way, via text. She is already damaged as a result of her failed marriage. As angry as you are, yelling at her won't accomplish much. My suggestion, write her a nasty note to get it out of your system but don't send it.
Author harvej Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 "Relationship terrorist" is so on the mark!!! I couldn't put my finger on it, but I just could not comprehend somebody that pursued me, landed me and had literally cried telling me she was falling in love with me. Then text me on her birthday uninviting me to her birthday party and ended it saying she wasn't ready for a relationship and I wasn't the typical type she dates. Strangest turn of events that has me wondering what the Hell type of person she is. I assume deeply damaged and passing aggressive etc.
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