BornToDie Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 Having been around for 4 and 1/2 years, I'm very close to my boyfriend's family. I'm very involved with his parents and siblings and feel like I belong. With that being said, I only have three or so girlfriends that I'm almost as close to. One of my best friends (we'll call her C) dated my boyfriend's brother (we'll call him A) long before I met my boyfriend. They dated a few years at a young age and were engaged/pregnant until things went sour. They were first loves, but in the end, things got nasty, C lost the baby, and A rebounded to another girl he really had nothing in common with. A lived with the girl he rebounded with who is pretty unstable. They dated for a total of 5 years (being miserable the past 2+) and now have a 2 year old son together. The girl was neglectful and abusive to both the child and A. She's tried to stab A before and basically used him to pay the bills while she ran around. Currently, A has moved back in with his and my boyfriend's parents and has plans to mediate on child support while paying off his debts, etc.. C, on the other hand, has been in a relationship off and on for 3 or so years, but she doesn't seem happy. Instead, she says she does love him but is not ready to settle down. They seem more comfortable than happy, and both of them complain about the other often. She's always saying she has to "wait for her boyfriend to go to sleep" before she leaves to go out anywhere because he'll get really upset with her. So here's what's got me torn... though they have been broken up for 5 years now, A is still in love with C, and he always really has been. He opens up to me often and says that he regrets the way he treated her and wants to wait for her. I feel like C puts up a front with me by saying "he thinks he's in love with me, but he's not. He doesn't even know me anymore. I just want him to move on and be happy." What's odd about this, though, is that when I bring up whatever new girl A is talking to, C always has criticisms, like no girl will ever be good enough. She's also made offhand comments without me asking that "if we ever did get back together, it'd be in the future. Right now, it's just not right yet." Not long ago, A and C saw each other and kissed. C told me that she was just testing it out to see if she still felt anything, and she didn't. A told me that it ended up being a long make out session. In addition to all this, C often likes and comments on A's Facebook posts despite her boyfriend getting very angry about it. Last weekend, because we're in the same friend group, A and C ended up seeing each other at the bar. Later, we all went home to continue hanging out. A and C were laughing the entire time and reminiscing on their older days (though C has claimed to me in the past that she doesn't remember anything). I never see C have fun like this with her boyfriend. A and C sat together and talked until the sun came up at about 6 AM, and A remarked to me that she was acting like her old self again. He told me tonight that he wanted to wait for her because he just doesn't see himself happy with anyone else. He keeps asking me what C has said about last weekend, and I haven't yet spoken with her to ask. I'm afraid that C will give me a lot of her normal commentary about how he needs to get over her and move on. Truly, A has made his bed and is currently lying in it. However, nothing would make my heart happier than to see these two together again now that they're responsible adults. I'm just torn because I'm trying to walk the line between two people I love without getting too involved. Do you think C is holding back on how she really feels (or lying altogether), and if so, should I say something? Should I be completely honest with A, no matter how bad?
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