sisa Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I didn't expect but I got his mail today since we start the NC. in the mail he put the photo we smile together shoulder with shoulder and basically he wrote something like wish me well and miss me, also he wrote that he will feel happy if I get new bf. when I saw this mail I got no feelings at beginning becasue I did not expect he would remember this date and write me something. but then later I feel so sad feelings and cry alone for a while. why bother me, it just one and half month, why he think I already recover and send me this mail. 1
MayP Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 omg... don't cry sisa. I don't know what he is trying to do. get a reaction from you???
carhill Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 why bother me, it just one and half month, why he think I already recover and send me this mail. Hard to know why, since each person's personality and circumstances are different but the act of actually using something as old-fashioned as mail and writing indicates a deliberate thought process at work. Back in old days, the NC response to this kind of contact was 'return to sender' without opening. Did that a few times as an OM. Given a man's typical personality regarding such matters, remembering and acting on anniversaries or other special occasions indicates either a very organized processing regime or substantive emotional memories driving the logical thought processes. You know the man best. IMO, keep up the NC; it'll get better. Time tends to be a good healer. 2
Author sisa Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 I think he might think saying something to me on this day can make me feel better. maybe he feel better too.
KaliLove Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I didn't expect but I got his mail today since we start the NC. in the mail he put the photo we smile together shoulder with shoulder and basically he wrote something like wish me well and miss me, also he wrote that he will feel happy if I get new bf. when I saw this mail I got no feelings at beginning becasue I did not expect he would remember this date and write me something. but then later I feel so sad feelings and cry alone for a while. why bother me, it just one and half month, why he think I already recover and send me this mail. He doesn't think you've recovered. In fact, it's the exact opposite. He's trying to keep your wounds open and keep you missing him to stroke his own ego. 2
Author sisa Posted August 10, 2014 Author Posted August 10, 2014 I got the email from his new email account today. he wish I am fine and ask what I am doing recently and he wish I can reply. why he need to know if I am fine, is becasue knowing I am fine can make him feel better and less guilty? the mail look like sincere concern as friends, but I really don't know if I should write back and tell him I am fine. But I afraid if I write back he would feel I want to restart the affair which I absolutely don't want. I really agree NC is a good procedure to detach the toxie feelings, when I got the mail, I just feel affair is long ago story and I was less sad than before.
SoleMate Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 Block him via all avenues including snail mail.
2sunny Posted August 10, 2014 Posted August 10, 2014 I got the email from his new email account today. he wish I am fine and ask what I am doing recently and he wish I can reply. why he need to know if I am fine, is becasue knowing I am fine can make him feel better and less guilty? the mail look like sincere concern as friends, but I really don't know if I should write back and tell him I am fine. But I afraid if I write back he would feel I want to restart the affair which I absolutely don't want. I really agree NC is a good procedure to detach the toxie feelings, when I got the mail, I just feel affair is long ago story and I was less sad than before. Don't respond. He's just trying to start the affair again. Any questions he asks are just to try and spark a reaction from you. Any reaction feeds his ego.
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