iiiii Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I would date a guy 9 years younger, but I would not date that guy at any age. 5
lisacolnett Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I would never date a guy who is 9 years younger to me. Will you be able to fill that age gap. He is still immature who doesn't wanna work. I would have never dated him even if he was of my age. 1
still_an_Angel Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I've done the cougar thing as my stbxH is 11 years younger than me. And no, the age gap was not the reason why we separated.
Author Sweett Posted July 9, 2014 Author Posted July 9, 2014 Men are generally more attracted to youth and good looks it's not unreasonable to not want to look older than your partner,it's just how it is,there are a few exceptions I can think of. That said I would definitely go out with someone younger,I look young anyway (as I'm 10 percent Asian) I'm nearly always attracted to those younger than me,but I would worry about the aging thing. Im 35 not 65 and i look great for my age i look just as young as he does. Im not wrinkle nor do i have sagging skin at 35 and i workout. I was more so trying to get feedback on this certain guy not the aging process. But i got the answers i needed from other posters. 1
No Limit Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 No 'cause he'd be 9 years old in my case. Beside that, I rather have a man than a boy, both physically and mentally.
aprilisi Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 I went on two dates with a 20 year old, 17 yrs younger than me. He is more mature and has his stuff together more than my other dates who are all over 30 and my last BF who was 36. He has a good full time job, an apartment with a roomate, a great sense of humor and manners. Don't see long term potential because of the age diff but I like him. Just wish he was at least 5 years older
Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted July 9, 2014 Posted July 9, 2014 This guy will cling on to you with every little bit of energy he has left. When I was dating someone who had no job i was the most important thing in his life. I on the other hand was horrendously busy & had no time for him. Needless to say we didn't work out. For a long term relationship, a man with no goals, no plan and no job who happens to live with his mom and happens to be 9 years younger than you will drain you endlessly. Even if it was a fwb situation, he will still be pining for you as you leave for work, while he stays at home circling the potential job vacancies in the paper that he doesn't really want and he isn't qualified to do. Plus, you'll be paying for dates. Trust me. Unemployed man guilt is the worst. Don't do it. 2
Cunning_Linguist Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 I'm going to play the devils advocate here because I relate to this guy. There was a point in my life where I was, where he is. Granted it was when I was fresh out of college and 22. Didn't mean I wasn't ambitious, didn't mean I didn't want to be successful. I just didn't know who I was, or what I wanted. I just don't want him to be judged by appearances. You can get stuck in that existential limbo. Some people, just do what they are told to do. Get a job, start a family, get in a relationship. Other people, like I was, question all those things and wonder whether that life is for them. Doesn't mean that starting a family or a career is bad, some people just need to figure things out for themselves. Just because he doesn't have a job or all those superficial things, doesn't mean he doesn't have character, or potential for greatness. I was there, and now I am a successful professional, and have my **** together. Not following the herd was the best decision I made, being a "loser" for a couple of years, traveling around, not sticking to a job, avoiding the societal template, was what gave me the character to stand out, helped me find myself, gave me the perspective to do something special. Now, just because I figured things out, doesn't mean this guy has what it takes. It comes from within. I wouldn't want him to be judged based on those things, so please consider my perspective. Maybe give him a chance to show you that spark. 2
Cunning_Linguist Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Vain and extremely insecure. There are more factors to attraction than looks. For some people. QUOTE] Right so I only care about looks in my partners. That is why I give all men a chance no matter what they look like? I am not one of those woman that needs a tall man, an attractive man, or a fit man. I have dated obese, overweight and men and never once chose a partner based on how nice his body or face was. I simply don't want a partner to look significantly older OR younger than myself. I am not sure how this very reasonable preference is shallow. Picking partners based on looks alone is shallow - I have never done that before. I love a nice smile and I have one myself, yet my first long term R had awful teeth but you know what, it didn't bother me one bit. You should probably know what you are talking about before you assume a person chooses all relationships based on looks. Who are you trying to convince here? Picking a partner because you don't want to look older than them down the road is kinda shallow, and insecure. How many of us aren't a lil bit shallow and insecure? I'd say that you could possibly miss out on your soulmate with that narrow selection process. I'm going based on what you said. My comment wasn't based on your selection process of a partner, but how you feel about yourself. Is there something wrong with it? No. You do what makes you feel secure in a relationship. Just pointing out that it sounded pretty insecure. No need to take it the wrong way, this is a dating forum, nothing is personal, just giving my perspective, to hopefully make you consider your reality.
Diezel Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 He doesn't want to work but he wants a relationship and have kids and i refuse to take care of him and a child... No way! So you would essentially have two kids.
FitChick Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 He wants to have kids and doesn't think that's work? He's in for a shock if he finds a woman stupid enough to fall for him.
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