Ok Good Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I've been dating this guy for 6 months he's divorced for 3 years and has 2 kids half time his ex wants him to go on vacation with her & the kids he would like to so he can spend some time with his kids he wants me to go with him its a posh resort place where he says we won't really be near his ex at all and we'll just have the kids a couple of days while we're there anyway the ex wife wants to meet me before this vacation.. I'm not sure if I want to or not she was sorta psycho with him after they divorced but I would be curious if she could tell me anything to watch out for with her ex (my BF) has anyone met their BF's ex-wife? how did it go?
CarrieT Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I've met my new husband's Ex in association with their kids. She is less than kind and I couldn't imagine vacationing with her to be near the kids. Isn't there a way you guys could vacation separately with his children? That is what we do... It sounds like a recipe for disaster and I'm curious why he thinks it is a good idea other than not wanting his kids to have two separate vacations.
soccerrprp Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Frankly, considering she is the mother of the children you spend time with, she has a right to meet who her children are hanging out with. Wouldn't you want that if you were in her situation? The whole vacationing with her and family is a little odd to me.
Gaeta Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 My ex-husband remarried. His new wife and I slowly became friends, to the point she would confine in me. When my ex-husband died I was there for her for anything she needed. My second ex, I work daily with his current wife. Her and I are good friends, we've been working together for 10 years. But that is who I am. Harmony for me is a priority. I refuse to be in discord with who ever. I am always nice to the exs, I welcome them, invite them in, offer them coffee, and try to connect with them. It has always worked for me.
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 It was a past relationship . . . but I met the BF's EX. I thought it was only fair since I was in her kid's life. She was polite at 1st. Then she got crazy & started showing up at my house screaming on the lawn which was ridiculous because their marriage ended due to her infidelity & she was living with the OM & had been for 4 years before I started dating her EX-H. Anyway, I called her lawyer & told him to make her stop & I set down ground rules: No screaming, polite conversation about the weather & the whereabouts / safety of her child only. I don't think her request to meet before the vacation is unreasonable.
Author Ok Good Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 I've met my new husband's Ex in association with their kids. She is less than kind and I couldn't imagine vacationing with her to be near the kids. Isn't there a way you guys could vacation separately with his children? That is what we do... It sounds like a recipe for disaster and I'm curious why he thinks it is a good idea other than not wanting his kids to have two separate vacations. This is an interesting point.. what could be the disaster? He wants to spend time with his kids n me in a beautiful place he thinks the place is huge enough that we won't have to see his ex he gets to see his kids during her vacation week which gives him bonus time with his kids
Elle1975 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Meet with her, take it from there. She probably feels uncomfortable as well, and that's why she wants to know who you are, before spending a vacation with you. I mean, hopefully that's why. I hope she doesn't want to scare you away. Who divorced who?
Author Ok Good Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 If I meet with her should my BF come to? or should we just meet alone like for a drink? what do we talk about? other than her ex? lol!!
Elle1975 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 If I meet with her should my BF come to? or should we just meet alone like for a drink? what do we talk about? other than her ex? lol!! Oh hell no, I wouldn't go alone. Who knows what the heck she would say and you'd be alone with your words against hers. I might be overcautious here, but who knows? Go with him. I'd ask her if she plans on bringing her boyfriend lol Joking apart.. don't let her get into your personal business or your relationship with your bf. Have a talk with the bf before you go to make sure you're on the same page.
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 If I meet with her should my BF come to? or should we just meet alone like for a drink? what do we talk about? other than her ex? lol!! Yes he should come. He's the only thing you have in common. I'd meet for coffee not alcohol. You should discuss what everybody's expectations are concerning your interaction with the children & this upcoming vacation. I'd really want to know if you were expected to eat in some bizarre family dinner setting & in whose room the kids will sleep.
MissBee Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 My last bf, I met his ex-wife. It wasn't any kind of formal meet up or big to-do. He had his son half of the time and I was at his house when she came to drop him off one day and we met and spoke cordially. I saw her a few more times, again because of their child, and when we saw each other we spoke like I'd speak to anyone else. However, I'd really avoid the whole idea of her telling you stuff to "watch out for." I can't see that going well. I would feel very disrespected and violated if my ex-husband and current bf got together over beers to discuss me and our relationship. You're in a relationship with him, find out on your own how he is. Don't try to ask her, that's weird. If you're going to be around their children I'd want to meet you as well. It doesn't have to go horribly if you're both mature about it.
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