scobro Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 what exactly is a toxic relationship and what are some examples.
molimo140 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 In any non-toxic relationship, there is trust, communication, and a foundation based on mutual life philosophies. The people involved accept each other for who they truly are and work through any difficulties and emerge stronger on the other side of them. I would say any relationship that doesn't fall into that category is toxic, since it wastes the time of both parties involved. Everyone deserves nothing less than what I have described.
MissBee Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) Toxic relationships are relationships that aren't in your best interest that cause you more heartache, drama, confusion, money, time, energy, your health etc. than they bring you any kind of quality benefit. It's where you spend majority of the time justifying, rationalizing, having to explain it to other people, "it's complicated", you spend tons of time crying, arguing, doing deceitful things or even illegal and dangerous things and most usually contain an imbalance of power where things are often greatly skewed towards the interest of only one person instead of it being mutual and a partnership...either one always walking on egg shells, always pandering to the other, always doing what makes the other happy even if it doesn't make them happy and where one person seems to always have the final say or reaps the most rewards with the least work. Instead of helping you grow as a person, instead of helping you to be where you need to be, instead of allowing you to be happy, authentic, open and honest you spend most of the time becoming someone else or doing tons of things counter to positive growth. Instead of things being straightforward there is always some convolution and some sense of always struggling, fighting, defending and going uphill. They can come in all different forms. Examples: a friend of mine is in a relationship with a jealous guy, but both of them are also jealous. She spends most of her time arguing with him and him her, chasing each other around (literally, by always popping up unexpectedly at the other's home, job, when they're hanging out with friend etc), he calls her out of her name and she him, he cheats on her, she spends most of her time explaining him to other people, the other half of the time she is crying . She has lost friends because of this relationship and even has to lie about him to other people and worse, she got sidetracked from going to medical school because of this relationship. Other example: a friend of mine who has been with a married man for years and years waiting for him to be with her in the open and she spends half the time crying about him, breaking up and getting back together, downplaying her real desires, getting older and older and still not being close to the baby or marriage she wants, she can't tell most people about her relationship so spends lots of time pretending and lying about it, always has to explain things as complicated, always worried about what he's doing and when he'll leave and overall the relationship has eroded her self-esteem and even her ability to move on from it has been eroded as the longer she has stayed the harder it is for her to leave hence the one day they're broken up and the next day they're not...but it's a treadmill to nowhere. Edited July 8, 2014 by MissBee 2
leavesonautumn Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 It's basically a relationship between two people who are not healthy together. For example, this could mean one person is posessive/jealous leaving the other confused and bewildered but won't leave the relationship because they truly love the other person despite the obvious red flags. My personal example, my ex was manipulative and lied to me, would break up, I would end up feeling depressed and then he would come back to me so he could have the upper hand in the relationship. He'd use a break up essentially to try and fix things. I would cling to the memories of the first 9 months we had together when he was not like this. Toxic.
compulsivedancer Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 For examples, read the OM/OW board. I doubt you'll find anything there that ISN'T toxic, and most of the posters realize it.
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