movingbackwards Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Our relationship had started on really rocky ground. I was more into something "casual"...she was pining for me. Other girls were involved early on before we had started "dating" 3 months in she calls it off, as she is too much into it and too confused. I told her I was okay with that as I didn't want to hurt her. After a couple of days thought, I went back to her and told her I wanted something more with her and it was pure honesty.Before I was just confused on what I wanted with her. After figuring it out, I started to fall for her. Although she was into moving pretty fast, we got back "together" and started dating as "boyfriend and girlfriend" Now I'm fully in it... This lasted for about 5 days until she finally said that she thought we should just be friends. I think we just had too much turmoil too soon. This is the 3rd or 4th day of officially breaking it off and I'm in shambles. I really do like this girl. She wants to remain good friends because we definitely hit it off as far as a relationship in general, but I told her I don't know if I can due to how I feel about her. She is EXTREMELY upset to the point of crying yesterday over not being sure if I can be her friend. I mean, she made it pretty clear that she wanted to be friends but I can't tell if it's due to the fact that she couldn't tell if it was right or if she just wanted some space because of all the turmoil we had early on. She told me literally a week ago that she was "unreasonably crazy about me"...and now it's just "not there"... We're hanging out later to conclude our talk and I don't know if I should tell her that I'm 100% in it to be with her and just see how that goes? Or just end it on the note that she wants to be friends. I can't do that to myself because I don't want to get hurt. I always struggle with either being purely honest, or trying to make the situation flow more naturally? Thoughts?
CarrieT Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 You can't be "just friends" when there are romantic feelings involved. If she is not All In, then tell her you are sorry that you can't hang around her as it will hurt you. Then STEP AWAY! She might change her mind and you could try again. If not, it will free you up to date others.
Author movingbackwards Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 (edited) I don't want to try and use tactics to get her back by any means. I want to be honest and truthful...but last night in having our conversation, she was getting very close to me...touching..and even grabbed my hand sentimentally at one point. You can tell she's still attracted to me, but like I said, I don't want to play games and try to hang out with her to see if she comes around. That's a good way to watch her go home with another guy..but at the same time maybe she just wants me to give her a full blown confession of how I feel? I have told her this... but not ultimatum style. So confusing. Edited July 8, 2014 by movingbackwards
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 She didn't become attractive to you until she was unavailable. What does that tell you? Leave her be for a while. Give her a week at least. Then ask to meet. Carry on as if it was a date. See what happens when you don't label stuff & talk it to death.
Author movingbackwards Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 She didn't become attractive to you until she was unavailable. What does that tell you? Leave her be for a while. Give her a week at least. Then ask to meet. Carry on as if it was a date. See what happens when you don't label stuff & talk it to death. Should I tell her I need space? That's a difficult thing to do and I'm not sure the methodology behind it.
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 No. You don't need space. She does. Don't talk about it. Just give it to her. If she calls you in the meantime, chat with her.
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