cereal_dater Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Girlfriend of two years and I broke up last winter. We stayed close, she called several times daily same as when we were together, and there was always undertones and presumption we were "working on things". A few weeks ago we got serious about making it work. Then she got mad because because I wouldn't let her look through my phone. I explained I didn't like my privacy invaded, not because I was hiding something. She hit me with the "guess I can't trust you" line. She can be a drama queen, I figured she'd get over it. About a week ago she joins OkCupid, using the computer I had just fixed for her, and put up a bikini selfie taken special for me. What a low blow. Sunday she announces she went on a date and REALLY liked the guy. Everything she wants. I haven't returned a call or text since then, and she's been trying frantically. I just feel so betrayed that I have no desire to hear her voice. So is exercising No Contact the right course of action, or am I being immature and butt-hurt? 1
David87 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 What a drama queen she is, NC is your best solution because she doesn't have the right to look in your phone because that's private. 1
Eagle755 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 She has no right to see your phone, but she does probably feel very insecure about you not showing her when she had asked, and if you guys continued she would of had that thought "why didn't he show me" running through her head a lot. Very childish and cowardice that she resorted to such quick revenge for something she "thought" was the truth. You don't owe her the time of day. She's fishing for your jealousy after you made her insecure. But don't for a second blame that on yourself. She had no right. Stay NC
David87 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 No contact is the best option for anything! It's the best option when someone dumps you loool 1
lolablue17 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 NC is the best option for 2 reasons. 1. She is just trying to hurt you as much as she can. for your health you dont need poison in your life. 2. She's desperately needs your reactions. Don't give her this satisfaction. let her eat her own cooking.
Author cereal_dater Posted July 10, 2014 Author Posted July 10, 2014 Before I went no contact, she offered both friendship AND told me "just because I go on 1 date with someone doesn't mean we can't still work on things". Sorry but after almost 3 years invested with someone, I'm not going to compete for them with another guy. Still receiving many calls and texts from her.
Always Pondering Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Wow! Talk about drama. If you've read a decent amount of stories here on Loveshack, you'll know what to do about the "let's be friends" proposition (aka say no). She seemed insecure needing to look through your phone and since she didn't get what she wanted, she feels the need to "show you what you did wrong" (which you didn't do anything wrong). I would not have been surprised if she attempted to give you an ultimatum of showing her your phone or breaking up. I assume she broke up with you after this whole situation? Regardless, you've probably realized you don't even want to be with someone who acts this way.
blindnlost Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Before I went no contact, she offered both friendship AND told me "just because I go on 1 date with someone doesn't mean we can't still work on things". Sorry but after almost 3 years invested with someone, I'm not going to compete for them with another guy. Still receiving many calls and texts from her. Ha omg almost the same to what my ex said." It's just one date, for a distraction". I told her if she's given up on us, then there's nothing to talk about just go straight to NC. Wish her luck and never contact her again.
Author cereal_dater Posted July 10, 2014 Author Posted July 10, 2014 I would not have been surprised if she attempted to give you an ultimatum of showing her your phone or breaking up. I assume she broke up with you after this whole situation? Nailed it.
guest569 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 NC is not immature, sometimes it is just the way it has to be. Wow, i am surprised that "working on things" involved her dating others..
OK_computer Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 It's the best option when someone dumps you loool LIFE=NO CONTACT death=contact
Elle1975 Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Was she snooping through your phone or did you freak out as soon as she picked it up? She is immature indeed, but she probably wondered what you were hiding when you kept the phone away from her.
Zahara Posted July 10, 2014 Posted July 10, 2014 Her attempt to passively control you into submission backfired. She thought the whole OK Cupid, I met a great guy would make you crawl and give in. Now that you are ignoring, she's freaking out. NC is one thing but do you really want to be in a relationship with someone that exercises no boundaries to get what they want? She sounds manipulative.
Author cereal_dater Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 (edited) Ex and I have been working on mending things after a near three year relationship. Have talked daily since Aug 2011. Very close. She's tried frantically to keep me in her life one way or another (friends or dating). Wednesday she asks me to date her again, spilling her feelings, we get intimate, then make plans for a sleepover Friday... Call her Friday evening - nothing - then she finally texts saying "I'm moving on! I've got a sexy guy here!" I'm thinking WTF? Must be a drunk friend messing with her phone. Call today and she's like a different person, ice cold. Sadistically starts bragging how she met this guy from POF Friday night instead, spent the night with him, had sex all night, how attractive he was, she's moving onto something better, go away, etc. She was snickering making me believe someone was sitting next to her.. I knew she was trying to make me jealous and hurt me, so I kept responding enthusiastically with "Oh that's great! I'm happy for you! Glad you met someone!". The nicer I got, the meaner her comments became, LOL Finally said "Well take care!" and hung up on her mid-sentence. She immediately texts a picture of some dumpy looking guy with decent abs saying "told you so!". Ignored it. Whole thing was totally out of left field, and WOW. Side Note: She joined POF few weeks ago. Immediately slept with two guys on the first date. Both dumped her after a week. Odd how she still tried desperately to keep me in her life despite them, but apparently this new guy is so good after one day, I'm history. Surprisingly I don't even care - she's obviously a total wh0re - just shocked at how expendable I suddenly became Edited August 11, 2014 by cereal_dater 1
Pendragon Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Sounds to me like it's time to cut the connection and go from "daily" to silence. I don't see the benefits in mending things at this point and if I were you, I'd disconnect completely. The relationship died, this struggle for power from her is absolutely ridiculous, and the "friendship" that you two have sounds very unhealthy. You know it yourself, there's no point hanging around anymore. 3
Author cereal_dater Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 She is this loose and you got intimate... You need help for your low self esteem. Also, get a test for STDs Intimate doesn't mean intercourse. I'm not that dumb
samg313 Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Sucks that you wasted this much time but Ya she sounds like a real winner. Too bad she didn't do this years ago
thekid36 Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Ex and I have been working on mending things after a near three year relationship. Have talked daily since Aug 2011. Very close. She's tried frantically to keep me in her life one way or another (friends or dating). Wednesday she asks me to date her again, spilling her feelings, we get intimate, then make plans for a sleepover Friday... Call her Friday evening - nothing - then she finally texts saying "I'm moving on! I've got a sexy guy here!" I'm thinking WTF? Must be a drunk friend messing with her phone. Call today and she's like a different person, ice cold. Sadistically starts bragging how she met this guy from POF Friday night instead, spent the night with him, had sex all night, how attractive he was, she's moving onto something better, go away, etc. She was snickering making me believe someone was sitting next to her.. I knew she was trying to make me jealous and hurt me, so I kept responding enthusiastically with "Oh that's great! I'm happy for you! Glad you met someone!". The nicer I got, the meaner her comments became, LOL Finally said "Well take care!" and hung up on her mid-sentence. She immediately texts a picture of some dumpy looking guy with decent abs saying "told you so!". Ignored it. Whole thing was totally out of left field, and WOW. Side Note: She joined POF few weeks ago. Immediately slept with two guys on the first date. Both dumped her after a week. Odd how she still tried desperately to keep me in her life despite them, but apparently this new guy is so good after one day, I'm history. Surprisingly I don't even care - she's obviously a total wh0re - just shocked at how expendable I suddenly became You basically went to the store wanting Cheerios. Ended up getting Fruity Pebbles. Hold your head up high and appreciate that you did not get Franken Berry. If only our only choice was Lucky Charms. If she calls back, inform her you are eating some good ol' Nut 'n Honey. Just learn from this and don't go back and get any more Frosted Flakes. That's all I got to say about that.
Craft81 Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Ex and I have been working on mending things after a near three year relationship. Have talked daily since Aug 2011. Very close. She's tried frantically to keep me in her life one way or another (friends or dating). Wednesday she asks me to date her again, spilling her feelings, we get intimate, then make plans for a sleepover Friday... Call her Friday evening - nothing - then she finally texts saying "I'm moving on! I've got a sexy guy here!" I'm thinking WTF? Must be a drunk friend messing with her phone. Call today and she's like a different person, ice cold. Sadistically starts bragging how she met this guy from POF Friday night instead, spent the night with him, had sex all night, how attractive he was, she's moving onto something better, go away, etc. She was snickering making me believe someone was sitting next to her.. I knew she was trying to make me jealous and hurt me, so I kept responding enthusiastically with "Oh that's great! I'm happy for you! Glad you met someone!". The nicer I got, the meaner her comments became, LOL Finally said "Well take care!" and hung up on her mid-sentence. She immediately texts a picture of some dumpy looking guy with decent abs saying "told you so!". Ignored it. Whole thing was totally out of left field, and WOW. Side Note: She joined POF few weeks ago. Immediately slept with two guys on the first date. Both dumped her after a week. Odd how she still tried desperately to keep me in her life despite them, but apparently this new guy is so good after one day, I'm history. Surprisingly I don't even care - she's obviously a total wh0re - just shocked at how expendable I suddenly became My ex did this stuff to me on several different occasions. But she had BPD with narcissistic traits... along with being an alcoholic. Your ex is not worth it at all. Get away. Block her number, or change your number.
mammasita Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 You didn't suddenly become expendable....you just finally experienced how expendable you were to her. Not all women are brutal like that though. It seems that had you just refused to stay in her life as a friend from the jump, you wouldn't have been caught in this on again off again cluster ****. She'll be back again. I hope you're smart enough to say **** off.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Yeah, you need to cut ties for good. She's a nutjob. Don't talk to her anymore.
brokenheart94 Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Eesh sorry to hear that man. she reminds me of how brutal my ex was. Just a few days ago she messaged me after a 2 months NC and asked how i am. Generally interested in my well being after ripping my heart out by breaking up with me and dating someone. Its been 6 months since then and she knows i went through alot. So she messaged me and said she knows she hurt me and I dont deserve this much pain. I thought to myself maybe she has changed from the cold heart biyatch she was to me after break up. Well how wrong i could be. Just yday... yeah 5 days later i noticed somethign was wrong. I asked her and after a while she sent me a BOMBSHELL telling me how her love for her bf will nver end, he treats her like a princess, when they are together time stops etc and how she hopes i find someone just as special goodbye!. I begged but she ended up saying bye and blocked me. wow right? wow... but yh i know what your going through. :/ Hope you recover from this man were all with u 1
SoThatHappened Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 My ex did this stuff to me on several different occasions. But she had BPD with narcissistic traits... along with being an alcoholic. Your ex is not worth it at all. Get away. Block her number, or change your number. Completely agree. Cereal, I dated a girl who did the same thing, i.e. sleeping with people the first night they met using online dating. She also went from "I love you" to "I like another guy" within just a few hours. It was insane. She is not worth it. It hurts, believe me I know, but you are so much better off. She will rinse/recycle/repeat in no time. Trust me. Just don't be one of the guys in her life anymore or ever again. Yeah, you need to cut ties for good. She's a nutjob. Don't talk to her anymore. Exactly.
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