kasey49 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Hey guys, So, I would appreciate some views on this. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We adore each other and I know he finds me attractive. I am 30 and he is 34. We have a one year old son. Honestly, I would say I am better than average looking. I'm 5'4 and 110 pounds. I have a couple major flaws though. I have VERY small breasts. Almost flat. And my stomach is pretty jacked up after the baby. I eat healthy and work out daily but I have a condition called diastatis recti. (My ab muscles split from my pregnancy) so my stomach bulges a little from this and it has some wrinkles and stretch marks on it. I'm very self conscious about it. Okay, so on to the porn. My boyfriend actually doesn't jerk off. (Really) We have an okay sex life. It's picked up a lot. But since even before the baby he looks at naked girls online EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. A whole lot. If we watch a movie, he will google the actress "naked" What really bothers me is that he looks up naked "college girls" or "teenagers" again, everyday. Now, trust me. I get it. Guys are visual. They love boobs. I don't expect him to put blinders on when he sees a hot woman. Heck, I'll even take a double look when I see an attractive woman. I just think to look it up everyday is almost a form of cheating. Especially looking at young girls when I am not so young anymore. It makes me feel really bad about myself. It makes me feel like he would rather be with a teenager since he looks them up everyday. Is this normal? Do most guys look at this all day long? Should I be worried he is looking at teens? (Not underage or anything) I just feel when you love someone and want to be with them, you shouldn't seek to look at other woman everyday. It makes me so sad. I feel like he'd rather look at them than me.
Author kasey49 Posted July 8, 2014 Author Posted July 8, 2014 I do the same thing when it comes to actresses in a movie. As for looking up naked girls every day, I can understand why it bothers you. You would think he would be somewhat discreet about it. Are you looking through his computer history? Is that how you know what he's doing? Speaking from the perspective of a man, when I look at porn, that sort of thing helps me stay faithful. If I feel like having sex with a brunette today, instead of going out and finding a real one, the porn will have to do. Maybe you should have a talk with him. We have talked about it. I've told him it bothers me, and he says he will stop. But he never does. I've never made a huge thing about it, but it kills me inside. When your actions are causing your love so much pain, why would you still do it? Do guys really NEED to look at that everyday? If you need to look at naked woman to prevents cheating, that is quite sad!! I see hot guys jogging without their shirt all the time. We all notice beautiful people. I just think it's wrong to look it up everyday and seek it. I wouldn't care if it was once in a blue moon and not teenagers.
Tayla Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 It is inappropriate behavior inside a relationship. Period. relationships require respect for each others perspective and feelings. If the behavior is affacting open communication and intimacy then its time to nip it proper. Do not allow the conversation to get personal, address the problem. Anyone telling you that you are being insecure or have a body image problem are casting a shadow over the real issue. Its called turning the tables....and sadly its common amongst such persons who don't want to acknowledge there own mental flaws. So re-read my first sentence and go from there. Hope things improve. 1
jay1983 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Even if you had bigger breast and a smooth belly, he'd probably still do the same thing. Only weird thing is that he does it in front of you, but that's probably due to some kind of conditioning. 1
you_can_not_see_me Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 even in a relationship I would watch porn, just cause I like to look at different girls. There are many different variations of attractive looking girls I like looking at and even if my GF was the best looking girl in the world I d like to look at a different girl every once in a while. But doing this everyday would be excessive and I would make sure to reassure my GF that I was still totally into her. I would be ok with her watching porn too of course. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Some people look at porn. Others abhor it. Sadly with the internet, it's hard to get away from. As long as these "young" women are over 18, it's a personal choice. If you don't condone it & he won't stop, you two may be fundamentally incompatible. If he's looking at kiddie porn call the police & break up with him immediately.
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