spiderowl Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 Are Friends with Benefits usually real friends or just people you fancy but don't want to get more involved with? A real friend would be someone you'd share your thoughts and worries with, who would be there if you needed them as a friend, whereas someone who just wanted casual sex is not going to be bothered about sharing anything other than the physical.
Andy_K Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 (edited) It's perfectly possible for the friendship to be genuine. You can care about someone and what's going on in their life, their thoughts and feelings, and respect them and so forth, but still not want to date them for any number of reasons. If someone wants sex from you with no strings, it doesn't change whether or not they are an ass. You have two choices with FWB. You can either sleep with someone who doesn't give a **** about you, or you can sleep with someone who does but just doesn't want to date you. Edited July 7, 2014 by Andy_K
ktya Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 OP, You keep asking about FWBs. What is your situation and how does this apply to you? Or are you writing a term paper?
Author spiderowl Posted July 7, 2014 Author Posted July 7, 2014 Lol, Ktya, no, I'm just curious. I have recently been in touch with someone who appears to want a FWB but seems to be more into the benefits side than a friendship. That, to me, is basically casual sex not what I understand FWB to be. But, maybe I've misunderstood?
nerd Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 *shrug* It's up to you. I distinguish between **** buddies and FWB, but I assume not everyone shares my definitions.
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2014 Posted July 7, 2014 There are all sorts of levels to this. Some are genuinely friends first then become lovers. Some start as ONS but the sex is good so they come back for more. There are variations in between.
CarrieT Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 All of my FWBs were pure booty calls with one exception. There was one guy I met on a kink site; we had sex but also had enough mutual interests to occasionally invite each other to parties or get-togethers but neither of us were interested in being a relationship. The rest were guys I never wanted to spend any time with whatsoever - but they were good in bed...
Griesfootball Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 I just stay away from anything like this bc I always am looking at the future and long term. I wouldn't say they are real friends they just like you for sex because if you broke a leg and were in the hospital would they come, no so they aren't a real friend
Lipitor11 Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 Usually no..I've been with my FWB for a year, and we've never really hung out since our first 2 dates which was last year, they only thing that we have met up for since then is sex, and yes, we do talk about our lives, how the holidays were, work, he talks about his friends, but I've never met any of his friends and we haven't even hung out or gone out anywhere during the last 11 months. Not sure if you call that friendship.
michellew Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 My on/off FWB isn't really a 'friend'. Sure we hang out in public, have drinks, and catch up, but only on the nights we are going to hook up. Sometimes we skip the hanging out and catching up, and just go straight to the bedroom. In between hook-ups neither of us make contact. I don't consider this a real friendship.
Kid_Charlemange Posted July 8, 2014 Posted July 8, 2014 A real friend would be someone you'd share your thoughts and worries with, who would be there if you needed them as a friend, whereas someone who just wanted casual sex is not going to be bothered about sharing anything other than the physical. My one experience in a FWB situation was that we really are friends, with a lot of common interests and a fair amount of communication between meetups. I'm not sure that's typical. There is definite affection between us, it's just not practical for it to become a true relationship for either of us.
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